Bath… I wonder what you were called before the Romans actually built the baths? Must have been lame if Bath was a better option…

Well after such illuminating thoughts, Kyles had to be a trooper and hunt down a pharmacy for me. I think my traveling tolerance is 3.5 weeks before I come down with a cold and feel shite… or it could have something to do with all the gin and diet of see food and you eat it… yeah nah…

Speaking of food, to go with the concoction of vitamins and who knows what else the pharmacist gave me, a healthy hearty brekkie was in order. I tried to order something with spinach and all those healthy things but the stars aligned and they were out… so it was back to the good ol’ bacon, eggs and smashed avo… although major food envy when Kylie’s corn fritters and halloumi amazingness arrived!

The things about besties is that they put up with all your quirks and nuances… like my new obsession with chimneys… and me yelling “tourist” every 5 steps, which means stop while I be a pain in the arse and take yet another picture! Thanks for putting up with me Kyles!!

So the thing about chimneys, I’m not even sure I can explain it, except to say it’s the thing missing from the Adelaide skyline, houses now in my mind look incomplete. I like how they are all lined up, yet each one is different and cute it its own way. Hmmm, what drugs did the pharmacist give me?!???

Doing what every person comes to Bath for, we hit up the Roman Baths acter brekkie. Being the off season, there was hardly a line up so we glided right on through… Not sure what I expected, knew we couldn’t swim in them but maybe I expected them to make me want to?? The architecture of course was stunning, Romans sure do know how to make a statement, maybe I expected more baths? But I guess the place is called Bath singular, not Baths… nevertheless, the history and majesty of it all was damn impressive. Oh and I also love moss, add that to my chimney lover weirdness…

Luckily for us dorks, we were the only ones that rocked up for the guided tour every hour on the hour so we had the lovely Beth* to ourselves. So obvs being a tour guide, Beth knew her stuff, and I wish I remembered some monumental historical facts she imparted on us. Instead I remember the weird and wonderful, like that you had to be hairless to use the baths so they would tweezer everyone…uh, I’m from an Italian family, I’ve seen an Italian man’s back, a million levels of pain to tweezer that rug. No wonder it was mainly women that went to the baths, even then, ouch… so in other useless facts I remember, when a sexist dude called Hadrian became emperor of Rome, he hated women’s bodies, and since every one went starkers at the baths, he mandated that men and women had to be segregated into different baths. Can’t imagine bathing with a room full of other naked people would be overly relaxing, but anyway… oh wait, she did say there was lots of wine and food, hmm, thinking this place should have been called orgy, I’ll put that in the suggestion box!

I can imagine back in the time, this place would have been something else to the local pommies! The Romans mastered underfloor heating, worshipped the god Minerva and believed these bubbling hot springs could cure diseases. Apparently they weren’t smart enough to figure out that if you put a heap of people with diseases in the same hot bath, maybe, just maybe those diseases might spread. Yeah, definitely don’t wanna swim in them anymore. Oh, and they are lined with lead. I’ll stick to my lame Aussie bath at home thanks, oh wait, I don’t have one… so the hilarious side of the baths, if there ever was one, are the curse cards. People would write curses and toss them into the baths, hoping the goddess would grant their wish for their worst enemies eye balls to pop out of their head, I kid you not. Those Romans were a vengeful lot.

Overall, a beautiful place that in its day, must have been bloody amazing! Oh, and that little bit of water they let you drink at the end, supposed to have super healing powers, taste like warm goblin piss. Ain’t that right madeye!

After a quick tourist stop to pick up some antiques…

…it was back to the room so Kyles could get online and prepped to buy tickets to Tomorrowland, a massive trance music festival in Brussels. I’m no where cool enough to attend. So the ticket process probs took a bit longer than planned but enough time for me to blog and catch up on what’s been happening across the pond. Tickets in hand and tears of joy, from Kylie cos she got tickets and me cos I was hungry and wanted dinner, we headed to a cool little joint around the corner called Stable, which caught our attention earlier in the day with this epic sign, love a good pun…

And oh my yum, a tasting thingo of cider, cheese fondue and a beef brisket pizza. At the time of ordering we hadn’t figured it was a pizza, just saw beef brisket and jumped in head first, as you do, but the pizza bit was a nice surprise, cos let’s be honest, carbs are delicious!!

Bellies full we wandered around the beautiful Bath and contemplated another pub crawl. Had there been a slither of space in our bellies, it might have happened but instead we made a quick pit stop then headed back to the room. No groupies tonight, just the best friends a girl could ask for called Cadbury and Lindt.

P.S. There’s ALWAYS space for chocolate!!

P.P.S. And here are the indulgent selfies, cos if there isn’t a selfie, were we ever really there???

Saturday 19th January 2019.