Monday 19th August – Wednesday 21st August 2019

The front half of my first whole week in London Town was spent being a complete tourist and ignoring the fact I now live here and at some stage will need to earn money.

Unlucky for Kyles, she was up bright and early Monday morning and off to work while the Geordie and I each claimed a couch and binge watched Mindhunter… Ashes and birthday recovery, don’t roll your eyes Mum!!!

Finally the Geordie and I we got off our arses on Tuesday and decided to get our tourist shoes on, with a dear friend leading the way, let’s call her Sheila.

Sheila had plans to take us to an epic brunch spot, being secret squirrel about the location, Nora and I just followed like sheep. I tend to be a sheep a lot in London. The day full of shits and giggles started with pranking the Geordie on the tube. While he nodded off with no idea where he was or where he was going, Sheila and I snuck out of sight, his face when he opened his eyes and we were gone was priceless…. maybe you had to be there…

Verging on hangry Holly territory we arrived at our final destination and by gosh it was worth the wait!! Am I the only one that didn’t know there’s a Little Venice in London??? Was way too hungry to take a pic of my food but just imagine a 5 star brekkie of eggs, bacon, avo, sausage and mushrooms, yeah I was hungry… and a Bloody Mary of course, they are becoming a brunch essential… once again can feel my mum rolling her eyes…

After stuffing our faces we wandered through Little Venice, I love all these little surprises in London. Canals with house boats, gardens everywhere, how does anyone diss London??? Ok, I may sing a different tune when I’m freezing my arse off in a few months but for now the sun is shining and London is putting on quite the show.

With Sheila once again leading the way through canals and over bridges we found our way to the Freize outdoor sculpture exhibition in Regent’s Garden. Hmmm, I’m not quite sure how to describe this one… interesting??? I’m obvs not an art aficionado but I just didn’t get it. Yeah, they were kinda cool, had names I couldn’t pronounce and descriptions I didn’t understand. Maybe this Aussie bogan just isn’t cultured enough! Still had a bloody good time wandering in the sunshine, cracking dad jokes and posing with my favourite number…

Why was six scared of seven?? Cos seven ate nine…. hehehe…

So after feeling sufficiently cultured and with a Geordie that had a thirst to quench, we hit up Camden markets. I visited this awesome place over Christmas and it hadn’t lost any of its charm. A soft serve, bubble waffle and cider or three later, we made our way to The World’s End. The all time best pub I’ve ever been too. Just too cool for school. Heavy metal sound track, my kind of art, funky interior and ribs n wings to die for. Check out the cocktail names, too funny! Yeah, I could live here!!!

After an eventful day doing the tourist thing, it was “home” to Brixton. Sainsbury‘s pizza for the second night in a row but you won’t hear me complaining!!

Wednesday was another more productive day in the tourist stakes. Once I was fed… Somehow I let the Geordie convince me he knew an awesome lunch spot, cos let’s be honest, by the time we got our arses moving it was way past breakfast, even brunch. On the way to said secret lunch spot, we stopped by and said hi to queenie at Buckingham Palace. Apparently Nora had an open invitation for tea and a crumpet but unfortunately she wasn’t home that afternoon. A secret squirrel tells me when the flag is at full mast, queenie is home. Maybe the Geordie wasn’t as welcome as he thought…

So we walked, and walked and walked, we walked for so long I thought I’d made it to Scotland. The poor Geordie got to experience a hangry Holly first hand. I must learn to be patient, when someone makes me wait for food it’s usually worth it. Points to the Geordie, fried halloumi and chips aboard an old ship docked on the Thames opposite the London eye, with a gin bar. Dude knows me well. Might have to start using his real name.

The highlight of the day and the reason the Geordie travelled all the way to London, besides the pleasure of our company, and the Ashes, and Corfu… a Jack the Ripper tour. Having sufficiently stuffed our faces at 4pm (yes, I somehow waited that long for food!?!?!), we met Kylie for a coffee in White Chapel. Didn’t realise she hadn’t had dinner and the said coffee joint only served… you guessed it, pizza. Poor love had to eat pizza for the third night in a row. Enough about food, onto the main event. Thank God for Wikipedia, besides knowing Jack the Ripper was a serial killer of prostitutes back in old London Town, I surprisingly knew not much. Somehow I hadn’t watched the Johnny Depp movie. Quick – go read Wikipedia now… I had to…

So in summary, they never worked out who Jack the Ripper was, he grusomely stabbed and cut open women and displayed their organs along with their trinkets in locations all over London. Plenty of theories about who he was, the Queen’s physician (?!?), a polish butcher (makes sense), an educated upper-class man, no one ever suspected a woman could commit the murders. Interesting, had they not seen Killing Eve?? Maybe not. Credit to the tour guide, a charming English lass armed with a handheld projector, throwing up images of locations and autopsy pics on street walls. With dire warnings of the gruesomeness of the autopsy pics, I expected, well more grossness. Pretty sure I’ve seen worse on NCIS. Anyhoo, awesome tour, interesting history and worth the couple of hours. The Geordie was enthralled and had a tick on his bucket list. You’d think with a stomach full of fried food and stories of a serial killer rampant in my new home town I’d have trouble sleeping… slept like a log, maybe I subconsciously knew to bank up the sleep hours ready for Corfu!!!

P.S. Stole these pics from the Geordie…