Saturday 14th September 2019

So waking up on what was supposed to be the most magical day of my Scottish adventure and I could hear it, winds trying to rip the roof off and rain banging on the windows. Wasn’t quite the hurricane Dan the joking Man promised but it was enough to mean all our days plans were going to be inside, or on the bus. No fairy pools, no outside hikes, no castles. Bitterly disappointed, had a little (maybe big) whinge to Kylie on Messenger and being the awesome friend she is she promised we’d be back, Scotland is our backyard after all. That put a smile on my dial!!!

While driving through sideways rain, Dan the Google Man told us a wee bit about the Isle of Skye. Main industries in Skye are tourism, which is surprising based on the friendliness of our inn keeper and waitress, the other is fishing, salmon mostly. All over Skye they have Salmon farms where they fatten up the fish then hoover the big ones up for eating. Not sure if it was the accent, I’m sure he said hoover, which put a visual in my head of a giant vacuum sucking up fish… huh?? How does that work??

Once there was a clearing in the sideways rain, we were let off the bus for a pit stop at a place I can’t remember where there was a gorgeous stream and bridge with magnificent views over the Skye landscape. According to Dan, sick of saying the Man, if you stick your head in the stream, you can talk to the fairies!?! Of course everyone volunteered Dan the fairy Man to go first and to his credit, in his head went. Apparently the fairies told him he was bloody stupid and it was too cold to be sticking your head in streams… at least that’s what I translated from his Scottish…

BOTB and I was kinda disappointed I didn’t take up the chance to talk to the fairies, so our crew of misfits and a few others we sucked in all agreed we’d do it on our way back… why the hell not huh?

Driving around the island, I think Dan the lost Man was going around in circles wondering what the hell to do on a day of non stop rain and wind. Being a good Scottish lad, we landed at a Brewery. Well, a shop for a brewery, couldn’t see or smell any beer brewing, just bottles and bottles lined up for the buying, so this is what they do with tourists on a rainy day. A tasting and a browse of a pottery shop later and yep, BOTB. This time saturated because only one minute in the rain was like having a shower full bolt while fully clothed. Next stop were some black huts from back in the olden day. You can tell how excited I was. Given my current saturated state, I chose to stay on the bus, along with nearly everyone else! Robert bless him battled the rain and toured the huts. The first pic is mine (looks welcoming huh?) and the rest I stole from Robert…

AOTB (work that one out!!) and we were headed for Portree, the main town in Skye. As per every town we stop in, Dan the tour guide Man points out all the good places to eat and the local attractions. Having been a shit tourist at the last stop, I decided I’d at least make an effort to walk up the hill to get a pic of the harbour and coloured houses. Thank the lord for Robert lending me his spare rain jacket cos this is what it looked like… you can’t see the rain but I think from the look on our faces you get the drift…

That lasted about 5 minutes until us three were back down the hill and into the pub next to where the bus was parked. And there we stayed until it was BOTB time. While at the pub though, we met a lovely English couple visiting Skye to take footage with a drone. They were loving the rain as much as we were! English dude ended up having some brilliant shots of Skye, Edinburgh and all over, check out Sky’s the Limit – Digital Aerial Imaging in Facebook, some epic pics!

So BOTB with the rain and wind still billowing, seriously it didn’t let up the whole day. But to my delight, there were lots of airey cooes… that’s what I heard first… then I realised Dan the doesn’t speak English Man meant hairy coos, which translates to hairy cows. Those gorgeous Scottish highland cows, with the long brown hair and horns. Would have taken a picture but the windows were mostly steamed up by now. You’ll see what I mean in future posts! To keep us entertained because we couldn’t see out the windows, nor get off anywhere in the torrential rain, Dan the storytelling Man told us a wee tale of the bad blood between the two clans that laid ownership to the Isle of Skye. The MacCleods and the MacDonalds. BTW, it’s Mac in Scotland and Mc in Ireland. Must mean the infamous McDonalds is Irish aye?? Back to the story. So to make peace between the MacCleods and the MacDonalds, which let’s just call the MacDs and MacC’s, they arranged a marriage between a top man from the McC’s clan and a favourite woman from the MacD’s clan. The idea would be they’d pop out a baby within a year, as agreed, and the Clans would live happily ever after. But it’s a tale cos obvs it didn’t go to plan! Instead, after a year or so and no baby, the lass from the MacD’s clan was returned with only one eye… in a cart pulled by a one-eyed horse, with a one-eyed carriage master and his one-eyed dog… yeah, apparently that was their idea of a joke and how to politely make it clear the deal was off. Strange sense of humour these Scottish folk… not sure if it’s my shit story telling or the fact we were so bored at the time, or Dan the funny Man’s Scottish accent but it was way more entertaining at the time… kinda sucks now… BTW, Mac means “son of”, a tidbit of useless information…

Given we couldn’t see out the windows and apparently there were no more tales to tell, I had a wee kip. It wasn’t til we were nearly back at the BNB that I woke disappointed I missed talking to the fairies, but apparently the wee stream Dan the fairy talking Man dipped his head in earlier was now a raging torrent that not even the fairies dare enter. Fair call. In what was already an wreck of a day, the windscreen wipers decided to give up battling the rain. Feck. Dan the bus driver Man managed to get us back to the hotel near our BNBs but had to call the boss and find out what the feck to do. A bus load of people to drop off and can’t see out the windscreen. So what do you do when you’re stuck on a bus outside a hotel – with a pub??? Robert the ringleader suggested there wouldn’t be many around so we could have a few quiet drinks, maybe dinner and his gracious BNB host would take us back later. Well, as soon as we opened the door to the “quiet” pub it was apparent it’d be anything but. The local football team (you know I mean soccer!) had won the premiership and were celebrating… loudly. We managed to avoid being noticed and play with a gorgeous dog but it didn’t take long for the attention to turn to the only two females in the whole damn pub!! Over came a few players, the manager and the cup of death… As Robert informed us with a scared look on his face, it’s tradition, you HAVE to drink out of the premiership cup otherwise it’s bad luck. I call bull… should have called bull louder when I saw the contents of the cup looked like this…

But there was a Connor factor, cute player who took a fancy to me according to Peta. Probs a bit young…looked like Klaus from The Originals if you’re into the vampire show. Definitely had the Scottish charm, think I’m just a massive sucker for the Scottish accent! A few more rounds from the cup later and we desperately needed some food to keep down the milky, lumpy substance from the cup…Connor and his crew invited us onto the next pub with them but one of us had better sense than that, not sure who. Don’t think any of us want to claim it. For a day hampered by rain and despite me sounding like a negative nelly this whole time, the day was full of laughs, some pretty sites and brilliant company. Life really is about the wonderful people you meet, and Scottish dudes called Connor…