hollyabroad

Hair of the dog

Monday 16th September 2019

What’s the best medicine after a night of a few too many gins?? A whiskey distillery of course!! Felt for poor Dan the back to being the bus driver Man, we got to sit and chill through the winding roads, poor dude had to drive and keep us entertained at the same time. Bet he was regretting a few swigs of the gin now!!

The three part tale leading up to our arrival at Culloden started with the background of Bonnie Prince Charlie of the Stewart’s who had a birth right to both the Scottish and British thrones. His dad had been booted as King and exiled to France when he was 6 months old, he then grew up in Rome. Kinda sounded like he was bought up with an inflated ego and air of entitlement, sure he was the rightful King but maybe a spoilt brat too?? Anyhow, after many attempts to sway the French army to invade England, cos we all know how the French felt about the English back in the day, things just kept going sideways so he went at it alone, trusting the French would invade at a later date to support him. He set off for Scotland with a massive fleet of two ships… the one with all the soldiers and ammowas intercepted by the British, badly damaged and returned back to France. The Bonnie Prince on the small ship snuck into Scotland and so began the Jacobite rising of 1745 aptly named “The ‘45”… and the end of part one of the story. Obvs when told with a Scottish accent and time to burn its way more interesting. Nice work Dan the hungover Man, I could hardly string together a g’day mate… but apparently according to Daniel the more whiskey you drink the straighter the roads get??

At Glen Ord distillery, one of the largest in Scotland, I swallowed a teaspoon of cement and hardened up. I was at a damn whiskey distillery in Scotland and by gosh I’d enjoy it, mind over matter right?? Once introduced to our tour guide, who we’ll just call Macca, I knew it would be a bloody brilliant tour, Macca was funny AF from the get go and his thick Scottish accent meant I was concentrating on trying to work out what the feck he was saying instead of the jack hammer in my head. If I had the energy I would have lost my shit at the fact the when he said “can’t” it sounded just like C U Next Tuesday… the hangover saved me from giggle fits…

Sad fact from Macca, apparently there’s more Johnnie Walker sold in the world than all the other whiskey’s put together… Eh, stuff ain’t great but if you’ve never had Scottish whiskey or Irish whisky do you even know any better?? See what I did there?? Scottish whiskey is whiskey with an ‘e’ and Irish is without. Was someone just drunk and copied it wrong?? Probs a better explanation…

Macca was brilliant at talking us through the whiskey making process, just wish I could remember more! The one awesome thing that stood out was the fact that Distillers, the person that tastes the batches of whiskey to test for consistency, is usually a woman as they are better at tasting and naming flavours, hell yeah, think I found my new job in Scotland!!

BTW, what are those things in the last pic?? Yup, they are earplugs, not lollies like so many tourists apparently think. Nice one Macca. So maybe I do remember more than I thought – to be labeled as Scotch Whiskey, it has to be single malt, so not a combination of different batches of whiskey a la Johnnie Walker AND it has to be distilled twice, and obvs all that done in Scotland. Apparently Irish whisky is distilled three times cos according to Macca they just aren’t good enough to get it right the first two times… feel like the Irish/Scottish rivalry might be akin to South Aussies versus those bloody Victorians…

And final fabulous fact about whiskey, or not so fabulous, while aging in the barrels, it loses 2% per year to “the angels”, so a barrel aged for 18 years loses 36% of its contents, apparently that’s why it costs so much!! Oh and one more, the “smart” distilleries don’t store all their whiskey at one location, they only ever store 10% of their stash in one place so if a place goes up like wild fire, they don’t lose everything. Feel like maybe someone had to learn a hard lesson with that one?

Macca did give a complete run down on how to brew whiskey but seriously if you’re interested google it because not much stayed in my head, thoughts were mostly of the Stone Age variety.. bacon – yum, gin – bad… Into the tasting room and Christi who’d come to know my sense of humour after the boner lighthouse incident pointed out number 2 on the list below, knowing it’d give me a laugh…

The tasting itself went down surprisingly well, maybe it was because I related to the their flagship whiskey so well, Singleton, yeah I get ya… may have even gone back for seconds, the hair of the dog was working wonders!

Did feel for Robert though, it was the champs birthday and Macca thought he was being a true gentleman giving him a whole glass of whiskey to celebrate… little did he know we still had gin in our blood…

For some reason I don’t recall, really have no idea why, but I DIDN’T buy the Game of Thrones House Targaryen whiskey, whaat? That doesn’t sound like me. Yes they were out of Stark whiskey but still, I have no explanation, just regret.

BOTB feeling surprisingly better with whiskey in the belly and we’re bound for our lunch stop at Inverness. And time for part 2 of Dan the story Man’s tale… so after arriving on Scottish soil, the Bonnie Prince Charlie had to rally the clans to his cause. Apparently the dude himself was a bit of a ponse but the idea of him back on the throne to give Scotland its independence was a cause worth fighting for. I’m with ya highlanders, I’d get behind that, strange feeling so much loyalty to a country I’ve only ever been to twice?!? Anyhoo, the clans gathered, with the Cameron’s being the main supporter of the Bonnie Prince, and together they took on the British. Without much resistance they took down the red coats and marched south with their hearts set on Edinburgh. Again, I understand, I’d fight for that place too. Bringing the smarts to the game ambushing the British while they slept, the Jacobites won one battle after another until they took the city of Edinburgh with next to zero resistance and had one hell of a party. Pretty sure if I knew a shit load of fierce highlanders were bound for the city I was only protecting cos the king told me to then I’d flee too! After taking Edinburgh and being hailed the King of Scotland, rather than be satisfied, the spoilt brat Prince Charlie also wanted London and the British Throne, some people just ask for too much! Just as the Scottish got a whiff of freedom, the British got their shit together and the Duke of Cumberland, the King’s kick arse son took charge of the fight against the Jacobites. How different history would have been if he was as witless as Bonnie Prince Charlie. I realise I’m recounting a completely skewed version of history, clearly not Team Charlie but in no version of this story does he ever come across as a strong leader, spoilt entitled brat always seems the more apt description… except in one single case which unfortunately would have changed the course of history. On the march to London the Jacobites got word of a strong contingent of 60,000 British soldiers heading their way. The Bonnie Prince wanted to keep going but got out voted, I’m guessing the clans knew he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. So they retreated back to Scotland and the majority of the clansmen with the option of going home to a warm bed, food and family did just that, they had won Scotland after all so I get that. As history later tells, the 60,000 strong was actually only 500 farmers ready to put up a fight, the Duke of Cumberland hadn’t quite got his shit together yet. Could this be one of the biggest rumours to ever change the course of history?? Quite possibly… I do wander what would have happened if they’d kept going?? Guess we’ll never know. But what we did know was that was the end of part 2 of the tale and we were in the beautiful Inverness for lunch. Having already booked 2 nights in Inverness after the tour, I was more than happy to just find the local and chill with the group.

BOTB and finally we were on our way to Culloden. I did remember that there was a slim chance I’d meet Sam/Jamie but after hearing Dan the history Man’s tale of Culloden I was moved and felt the significance of the place I was about to visit was more important, life isn’t all about cute Scottish men after all. Of course the drive to Culloden meant part 3 and the final chapter of the story. So, the Bonnie Prince and the highlanders had retreated to Scotland, many had returned to their clan lands with a smalller force staying by the Prince’s side, probs trying to stop him from doing something stupid and trying to convince him to just be satisfied with one crown. Unfortunately the Duke dude by this time had gotten the British troops together and started winning battles. The Duke was apparently keen to get back to a different war so wanted to squash the Jacobites and be done with it. Dude was determined. To end it all, the British and the Jacobites agreed to fight it out on the boggy fields of Culloden. Didn’t quite catch how or why but history tells us they did. Now the Jacobites tried their surprise ambush tactic again but stuffed it up royally. They all got lost in the dark and ended up back where they started tired and hungry in the morning. Guessing the spoilt Bonnie Prince slept through the ambush because he insisted they fight that day. It’s beyond me why anyone would think it’s a good idea to line men up opposite each other and shoot but I guess that’s what they’ve always done in every single war. My hat goes off to the brave men that stood on the field to fight for their country and freedom, not sure I’d ever be that brave. Unfortunately for the Jacobites, the Duke dude had worked out how to counter the highland charge. What’s that you ask?? It’s the ferocious fighting tactic of the highlanders where they shoot their gun at the enemy then ditch it and charge full throttle, swords drawn with epic battle cries that’d scare the bejesus out of anyone. Usually the British, lined up in single file, would get one shot off and in the time it took to refill their rifle the highlanders would be upon them… A British soldier versus a highlander in hand to hand combat was always a one sided affair. But the Duke dude had learnt, he lined up four rows of soldiers, the first would shoot then duck and refill their guns while the second line shot then did the same. By the time the fourth line shot the first line were back up and firing. Fark, the highlanders has no bloody chance, the fight was over in an hour with around 2,000 highlanders dead and around 50 British. What a bloody bloody waste of life. Well, they fought for a cause but still sucks. That name the Duke of Cumberland earnt the name ‘Butcher Cumberland’ as he ordered no quarter, basically take no prisoners and kill the wounded. What an unforgiving arse wipe but I guess that was the done thing then. Such a feckin sad story that i’d soon learn wasn’t finished there.

Arriving at Culloden there was no Jamie but in all honesty, by then I was more interested in the Culloden battlefield. Without a massive visitor center you could drive right by without knowing it was such a historically significant site, just looks like a large plain, some scrub and trees. It’s not til you start walking the fields and see the red flags marking the British troops lines and the blue flags marking the Scottish that you get a feel for what a massive battle it was and how much braver than we could ever imagine the soldiers on each side were. Lining up against an enemy, with a very high likelihood of death, how many people these days would put their hand up for that? Ok, terrorists aside… They must have felt such a passion and belief in what that they were standing for that forfeiting their life was worth it for the cause. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that level of belief in anything, not sure I ever will. Ok well maybe there are a few people in the world I’d jump in front of a bus for… Anyhoo… walking the fields with Peta and Robert it was a sullen mood and hard to smile for pics but at the same time full of admiration for those that gave their life and sadness that it even had to happen in the first place. I know it’s a beauty queens response but all I really do want is world peace, now and forever…

The stones in the pics represented where the clans stood for the fight and also where some fell, not forgetting the British soldiers who also gave their life for their country…

I did have a picture with the Fraser clan stone in honour of Jamie but felt like a loser in hindsight, some real life Fraser’s died for the cause and here I am swooning over a make believe character… here’s the pic anyway, don’t judge me…

Wandering through the visitor center and gift shop before being BOTB I managed to find something to make me smile…

BOTB in a somber mood but bless Robert the optimist, I think it was him who said it was bad luck Jamie wasn’t there but maybe we’d find him at the next place… thanks Robert, some excitement in my belly for Clava Cairns, otherwise known as Craigh Na Dun to us die hard Outlander fans!

Rocking up at the stones, Jamie was no where in sight but there was still hope I’d go back in time and find him. Tentatively walking up to the stones, I was hoping to hear the hum… but Dan the scene stealing Man got in first, he didn’t go back in time, which is kinda handy coz no idea who would have driven the bus…

It’s all good, I wouldn’t wanna go back in time anyway, as much as I love a castle and fort, I’m kinda pretty happy with where I am now. Clava Cairns is gorgeous, the cairns which are circular burial tombs are over 4,000 years old, as are the stones. Crazy to even imagine what life was like back then and who was important enough to get such a fancy burial.

After all the photo ops were exhausted it was BOTB for the trek back to Edinburgh. It was a hell of a distance so the pit stop at Pitlochry was more than welcome… cute little town but in all honesty, I was more interested in the whiskey flavoured and Scottish tablet flavoured ice cream.

Looks delicious aye?? Would you believe me if I told you I didn’t eat it?? Not sure what the hell came over me but I just didn’t feel like ice cream for the very first time in my entire life so I flogged it off to Robert. A wander through the town with Peta and it was BOTB for the very last time for the final leg back to Edinburgh. Dan the music Man put together a play list for our trek, winning with Queen, not so much with One Direction, and just when I was starting to think he was a cool dude…

While the city of Edinburgh is always a welcome site, leaving my new friends was hard! Hugs to Peta who had to head to her hotel, hugs to Daniel cos he was a champ in the end and a final beer with Robert before he was off on the train and then the tour was officially over. Sad to say goodbye but at the same time when you meet such legends you know it’s never good bye, just a case of see ya later!! What wasn’t over was my adventure in Scotland, still had 4 more days of Scottish lovin’ coming up!

P.S. I have no idea what happened at Culloden, highly likely my account is completely wrong!!

P,P.S. WiFi is shite, sorry if pics aren’t uploading!!

October 2, 2019 0

Love it a loch

Sunday 15th September 2019

Oh thank you Skye for stopping with the sideways rain and showing us your beauty!! Too bad the gurgling in our stomachs from the lumpy cup of goodness was interrupting the pretty! BOTB for pickups and we ventured out to the middle of whoop whoop to pick up Robert from his BNB and I got why the taxi driver the other night was grumpy AF, but the middle of whoop whoop in Skye is bloody gorgeous, yeah Skye, you got me. Maybe my first girl can be Aurora Skye… you’d have to go all the way back to my travels to Finland to work that one out!!

Before leaving the gorgeous Skye, Dan the photo op Man made a few stops for pics so we could actually have evidence of being in Skye. Once again, beyond gorgeous scenery and Saucy Mary’s which I wish I’d visited. Just makes me smile when I think about how much I love Scotland. I have a UK passport so that kinda makes me Scottish right???

Over the bridge from Skye this time, Dan the sneaky Man didn’t mention the bridge option when herding us onto the Titanic the other day!?! Next stop was the most photographed castle in Scotland, Eilean Donan, we were about the add to that photograph tally… A quick stop for sweeping views of the castle and a million more clicks, it really is stunning and not a single picture I’ve taken even comes close to showing it’s real beauty!! Maybe google it, I’m sure you’ll find better pics!!

Bussing it over to the castle and somehow it is even more stunning. The castle is majestic and while I usually like them in ruins, this is definitely an exception! Wandering over the bridge, or maybe it was a moat?!? Anyhoo, in front of us were a bride and groom, what a place for wedding photos!! You might have noticed I was wearing long sleeves and a puffer jacket so spare a thought for this gorgeous bride, freezing for a cause!!

Into the castle and wow, views for ever over the loch and mountains, the old castle masonry, little windy staircases and gorgeous windows over looking the beautiful beautiful Scotland. I’ve changed my mind, I’m hiding from Dan the bus driver Man at Eilean Donan, so many little nooks to hide in, I’m sure no one would notice…

Leaving it to the very last minute to get BOTB, I was still testing out whether Dan the hopefully nice Man would leave anyone behind because been there and seen that!! He waited, bless, mainly because more than half the bus were a few minutes late back, you could spend hours at the castle so time quickly slips away. Maybe if I meet my Scottish Prince Charming I could get married at Eilean Donan too?? Or I could just marry a highland cow, probs more likely to find one that likes me!!

BOTB and Robert just casually mentioned that his friends who are also traveling through Scotland happened to run into some guy called Sam Heughan, was that the Outlander dude I’d been going on about?? He’d been at Culloden the previous day and was at Clava Cairn, both places we were going the next day!!! My golly was I a happy Holly!! I’d been going on about meeting my very own Jamie and now I had a chance to meet the real Jamie Fraser himself… mix of excitement and disbelief. Yeah I’m fangirling cos he’s one good looking dude and on one of my favourite shows but also because he’s one of those amazing human beings that works his arse off to support charities and use his fame to make a difference in the world. I admire those people. Anyways, fingers crossed I might find the real Jamie this trip, but really don’t think I’m that lucky…

Bless Dan the google Man who was trying to once again give us some tidbits of info about Scotland, my mind was still all about the Jamie!! He said something about beavers being reintroduced to Scotland, dams having holes, beavers take holes as an insult and filling them… did not make sense, my mind was still Jamie inclined. Points for trying Dan but the news of Jamie had spread to every female on the bus who was now either fangirling as much as me or getting a run down from the Outlander die hards on why they should be!!!

Maybe Dan the disappinted Man noticed he’d lost his crowd, or maybe it was planned, who knows but not too long after the Jamie revelation and beaver story we rocked up at the River Moriston waterfalls. A little trek down the road and we came across one of the best things I’ve ever seen in my life… a dog sitting in a chair just like a human being, just casually checking us out and wondering what all the fuss was about. So so bloody brilliant, that’s one hell of a guard dog!

Waterfalls beckoned so we left our new favorite dog alone to ponder his celebrity and headed through the forest to the waterfalls. Scotland really does have everything, mountains, lochs, waterfalls, forests, beaches and Jamie. Scotland is perfect. The waterfalls just added to this perfection.

Wandering back through the forest I came across myself, a native Holly bush. I knew I belonged here!!

Unfortunately our guard dog was sick of the paparazzi and had gone elsewhere, so it was just BOTB and onto our lunch stop at Drumnadrochit. I’d already decided this was the day I’d indulge in the infamous haggis supper. Deep fried haggis and chips, and yummers, I was not disappointed, and Robert was hella impressed with my new found love of haggis!

With only a short lunch break it was BOTB and through some beautiful hills, apparently hills and mountains have different names in Scotland depending on how high they are, it’ll go from a hill to a mountain at a certain height but in all honesty I was so blissfully haggised out I didn’t pay much attention to Dan the mountain Man. When he sushed down I cranked my tunes and what do ya know, my fave the Hilltop Hoods blasted, seemed appropriate so I did my nasty hip hop dance moves in my seat and snapped away at the beautiful scenery passing by in front of me. What the hell was in that haggis??

On our way to Loch Ness where every Man and his dog knows is the home of Nessy, the infamous monster, Dan the monster Man chatted more and this time it peaked my interest, love conspiracy theories about the Loch Ness monster!! First some basics, if you took all of the water from the lochs and lakes across the UK, it still wouldn’t fill Loch Ness, it’s a biggie. And now onto the good stuff, apparently a couple were travelling the road by Loch Ness and crashed their car into a tree, they claimed to the cops that a creature slithered out in front of them and into the Loch and so started the tale of the Loch Ness monster. Needless to say they didn’t do a breatho, good story bro!! But there is that one picture right?? Yeah, apparently it’s been proven it’s a fake, guess I won’t be getting that reward for finding the monster… Rocking up to where we would jump on board our cruise on the loch, I met the most gorgeous, sweetest thing ever… a baby hairy coo!!! Too cute for words, when I’m back in Adelaide one day I’ll be getting me a hairy coo and a border collie as pets, they can be besties, maybe I’ll get a kitty kat too…

At the visitor center for our cruise I stumbled across a fridge full of cider from Roberts home town of Durham, would have been rude not to partake…

Finally bundled onto the cruise and set off on the loch, 5 minutes in we hear the skipper over the speaker, he sounded like he’d just taken a big suck of helium and so started the giggles from the lot of us… no idea what he said, I’m sure it was important. Next up to take the speaker reins was an older chap who bless, had a tough crowd. When we turned the corner and he pointed out Boner Lighthouse there was no stopping us, tears and sore stomachs from laughing so much. Not just at the name but his descriptions of it “coming up around the corner” and so forth… ok, so maybe the highland hot chocolate and the gins from the bar we just happened to sit right next to had something to do with it. Nah, actually that dude was just a barrel of laughs especially cos he wasn’t even trying! Note, for those playing at home, a highland hot chocolate is not for the little tackers, has a shot of whiskey…

We calmed down for a couple of minutes to get some beautiful shots of the loch and enjoy the tranquil setting. Didn’t last that long because old man was back to his best, “the water of Loch Ness looks cold and dark, because it is cold and dark…”. Maybe you had to be there…

Having piped down somewhat, the cruise pulled up to Urqhart Castle and by god we were being spoilt with castles that day, in my element! Unlike Eilean Donan, Urqhart is a ruin but definitely just as majestic and beautiful!! In its hayday, it would have been massive and quite intimidating for anyone silly enough to try enter uninvited. Scotland always comes up with the goods…

Wandering around the ruins with Peta, apparently I missed quite a handsome dude looking my way, had to explain my priorities to Peta… Castles, hairy coos, gin then men… unless you’re Jamie then you go right to the top of the list!!! Anyhoo, having taken in all the sites of the castle we wandered down to the banks of Loch Ness and decided to go for a paddle, why the hell not? Maybe our yummy toes would entice Nessy to make an appearance?? Full credit to Peta who managed to get her tights off from under her jeans without even a slip of thigh, chicks got mad skills…

Dan the Loch Ness Man did mention the water was around 6 degrees, that was about right, between trying not to go arse up on the mossy rocks of the shore, I’m sure my toes were freezing off! No Nessy unfortunately, maybe our toes weren’t as tasty as we thought! We took our time to paddle and sit on the shore chatting, then realized we had 5 minutes to leg it up the massive hill behind the castle and find our bus in one of the thousand car parks, was hoping it was a case of Dan the patient Man… luckily we made it, mostly thanks to one of the older gentleman who was still off somewhere taking pics with his kick arse camera… Once all aboard it was onto Fort Augustus, a place that once again didn’t really have much of a fort, feckin forts, stop teasing me!! Somehow during the BNB drop off hustle I ended up being the only one staying at my BNB and it was like fate, the host had decorated the interior with a theme of hairy coos!!

Being our last night as a tour group we’d agreed to all gather at the Richmond pub for a last supper. Arriving a little late on account of my shite sense of direction, Robert, Peta and Dan the now one of us Man has saved me a seat. Chicken strips better than KFC and a few gins later, some how our drinks had taken on identities of their own… a gender neutral Tenant beer, a girly Rose wine, a manly merlot and a gentleman gin please!?! It was funny at the time and somehow the bar tender was in on the joke, at least we thought he was!! The people on this trip really were what made it so brilliant, I’ve mostly detailed the lives and times of Peta and Robert but Ardis and Michael the amazing photographer from the US, Roelene and Steve from South Africa, and Christi and Todd also played a starring role, as did Dan the Man who was now just Daniel, no longer having to be the man.

Needless to say, there were quite a few drinks, laughs and just straight out hilarious conversation! I’m pretty sure Michael’s pertinent question “Do you vacuum your pets in Australia?” takes the cake. And poor innocent Daniel took a hiding from Peta and I about his inability to pronounce a T, goes for all Scottish folk really. Peta was Pee-ah, can pronounce a T to start with but anything in the middle gets lost. The Boner lighthouse also came up in conversation which set us all off again. Did learn quite a bit of Scottish that night though, a Kirk is a church, they say tan it instead of skull, pee pee is a piss and chebs are those two mounds on a women’s chest… yeah, the conversation may have taken a turn for the worst!! No idea what Ned’s are, vaguely recall maybe it’s the Scottish version of a bogan??

Anyhoo, midnight rolled around and those still standing were eloquently kicked out, highly possible a certain someone had a bottle of gin in her room and the four of us Richmond Rioters ended up sitting on steps on the banks of the Canal having a few swigs, yeah, Robert, Peta, Margaret and Daniel, I’m looking at you. What else happened that night is most definitely a case of what happens on tour stays on tour…

October 1, 2019 0

The cup, the Connor and the coos…

Saturday 14th September 2019

So waking up on what was supposed to be the most magical day of my Scottish adventure and I could hear it, winds trying to rip the roof off and rain banging on the windows. Wasn’t quite the hurricane Dan the joking Man promised but it was enough to mean all our days plans were going to be inside, or on the bus. No fairy pools, no outside hikes, no castles. Bitterly disappointed, had a little (maybe big) whinge to Kylie on Messenger and being the awesome friend she is she promised we’d be back, Scotland is our backyard after all. That put a smile on my dial!!!

While driving through sideways rain, Dan the Google Man told us a wee bit about the Isle of Skye. Main industries in Skye are tourism, which is surprising based on the friendliness of our inn keeper and waitress, the other is fishing, salmon mostly. All over Skye they have Salmon farms where they fatten up the fish then hoover the big ones up for eating. Not sure if it was the accent, I’m sure he said hoover, which put a visual in my head of a giant vacuum sucking up fish… huh?? How does that work??

Once there was a clearing in the sideways rain, we were let off the bus for a pit stop at a place I can’t remember where there was a gorgeous stream and bridge with magnificent views over the Skye landscape. According to Dan, sick of saying the Man, if you stick your head in the stream, you can talk to the fairies!?! Of course everyone volunteered Dan the fairy Man to go first and to his credit, in his head went. Apparently the fairies told him he was bloody stupid and it was too cold to be sticking your head in streams… at least that’s what I translated from his Scottish…

BOTB and I was kinda disappointed I didn’t take up the chance to talk to the fairies, so our crew of misfits and a few others we sucked in all agreed we’d do it on our way back… why the hell not huh?

Driving around the island, I think Dan the lost Man was going around in circles wondering what the hell to do on a day of non stop rain and wind. Being a good Scottish lad, we landed at a Brewery. Well, a shop for a brewery, couldn’t see or smell any beer brewing, just bottles and bottles lined up for the buying, so this is what they do with tourists on a rainy day. A tasting and a browse of a pottery shop later and yep, BOTB. This time saturated because only one minute in the rain was like having a shower full bolt while fully clothed. Next stop were some black huts from back in the olden day. You can tell how excited I was. Given my current saturated state, I chose to stay on the bus, along with nearly everyone else! Robert bless him battled the rain and toured the huts. The first pic is mine (looks welcoming huh?) and the rest I stole from Robert…

AOTB (work that one out!!) and we were headed for Portree, the main town in Skye. As per every town we stop in, Dan the tour guide Man points out all the good places to eat and the local attractions. Having been a shit tourist at the last stop, I decided I’d at least make an effort to walk up the hill to get a pic of the harbour and coloured houses. Thank the lord for Robert lending me his spare rain jacket cos this is what it looked like… you can’t see the rain but I think from the look on our faces you get the drift…

That lasted about 5 minutes until us three were back down the hill and into the pub next to where the bus was parked. And there we stayed until it was BOTB time. While at the pub though, we met a lovely English couple visiting Skye to take footage with a drone. They were loving the rain as much as we were! English dude ended up having some brilliant shots of Skye, Edinburgh and all over, check out Sky’s the Limit – Digital Aerial Imaging in Facebook, some epic pics!

So BOTB with the rain and wind still billowing, seriously it didn’t let up the whole day. But to my delight, there were lots of airey cooes… that’s what I heard first… then I realised Dan the doesn’t speak English Man meant hairy coos, which translates to hairy cows. Those gorgeous Scottish highland cows, with the long brown hair and horns. Would have taken a picture but the windows were mostly steamed up by now. You’ll see what I mean in future posts! To keep us entertained because we couldn’t see out the windows, nor get off anywhere in the torrential rain, Dan the storytelling Man told us a wee tale of the bad blood between the two clans that laid ownership to the Isle of Skye. The MacCleods and the MacDonalds. BTW, it’s Mac in Scotland and Mc in Ireland. Must mean the infamous McDonalds is Irish aye?? Back to the story. So to make peace between the MacCleods and the MacDonalds, which let’s just call the MacDs and MacC’s, they arranged a marriage between a top man from the McC’s clan and a favourite woman from the MacD’s clan. The idea would be they’d pop out a baby within a year, as agreed, and the Clans would live happily ever after. But it’s a tale cos obvs it didn’t go to plan! Instead, after a year or so and no baby, the lass from the MacD’s clan was returned with only one eye… in a cart pulled by a one-eyed horse, with a one-eyed carriage master and his one-eyed dog… yeah, apparently that was their idea of a joke and how to politely make it clear the deal was off. Strange sense of humour these Scottish folk… not sure if it’s my shit story telling or the fact we were so bored at the time, or Dan the funny Man’s Scottish accent but it was way more entertaining at the time… kinda sucks now… BTW, Mac means “son of”, a tidbit of useless information…

Given we couldn’t see out the windows and apparently there were no more tales to tell, I had a wee kip. It wasn’t til we were nearly back at the BNB that I woke disappointed I missed talking to the fairies, but apparently the wee stream Dan the fairy talking Man dipped his head in earlier was now a raging torrent that not even the fairies dare enter. Fair call. In what was already an wreck of a day, the windscreen wipers decided to give up battling the rain. Feck. Dan the bus driver Man managed to get us back to the hotel near our BNBs but had to call the boss and find out what the feck to do. A bus load of people to drop off and can’t see out the windscreen. So what do you do when you’re stuck on a bus outside a hotel – with a pub??? Robert the ringleader suggested there wouldn’t be many around so we could have a few quiet drinks, maybe dinner and his gracious BNB host would take us back later. Well, as soon as we opened the door to the “quiet” pub it was apparent it’d be anything but. The local football team (you know I mean soccer!) had won the premiership and were celebrating… loudly. We managed to avoid being noticed and play with a gorgeous dog but it didn’t take long for the attention to turn to the only two females in the whole damn pub!! Over came a few players, the manager and the cup of death… As Robert informed us with a scared look on his face, it’s tradition, you HAVE to drink out of the premiership cup otherwise it’s bad luck. I call bull… should have called bull louder when I saw the contents of the cup looked like this…

But there was a Connor factor, cute player who took a fancy to me according to Peta. Probs a bit young…looked like Klaus from The Originals if you’re into the vampire show. Definitely had the Scottish charm, think I’m just a massive sucker for the Scottish accent! A few more rounds from the cup later and we desperately needed some food to keep down the milky, lumpy substance from the cup…Connor and his crew invited us onto the next pub with them but one of us had better sense than that, not sure who. Don’t think any of us want to claim it. For a day hampered by rain and despite me sounding like a negative nelly this whole time, the day was full of laughs, some pretty sites and brilliant company. Life really is about the wonderful people you meet, and Scottish dudes called Connor…

October 1, 2019 0

Haggis and Harry

Friday 13th September 2019

Lucky for me, being spoilt with a hotel room also meant being spoilt with a hotel brekkie. Bacon, yum, eggs, yum, sheep’s brains, yum… you wouldn’t think sheep’s leftovers smooshed with some grains and fried would be so delicious, but yummo, love me some haggis!

BOTB and we’re just cruising along and there on an island is an epic castle… kinda like Dunluce in Ireland, home of the Greyjoy’s. Once again would love to climb all over it but a picture out a bus window was as good as it gets…

Back in our seats and we’re headed to Glencoe. Dan the sometimes Man reckons it’s one of the most beautiful places in Scotland. We’ll see. On our wee trip to Glencoe Dan the story Man told us the tale of the Massacre of Glencoe. All started with the King trying to get the unruly Scottish clans in line, to do so they all had to pledge their allegiance in person. The chief of the MacDonald clan was a day late to do so. Apparently the excuse of a horse breaking its leg is akin to the excuse of a dog ate my homework. Anyway, the British and the enemy Campbell clan snuck into the MacDonald’s village and killed them all in their sleep. Ok, there’s much more to it, but in short, that’s the story of the Massacre of Glencoe. There’s a lesson kids, don’t be late, and apparently if you’re a King you can kill whomever you want, and Kings are meant to be servants of God…Right. So after such a delightful tale, Dan again the Man played a Scottish folk song about the massacre that was so beautiful it bought a tear to my eye… maybe I do like Scottish music and this country is perfect…

The trip to Glencoe was some of the most beautiful scenery I’ve ever seen in my life. As Glen means valley, the scenery was valleys and mountains on the left and a loch on the right… always a loch, I don’t think there was more than 5 minutes of travel in which there wasn’t a loch in view. I really just wanted to hike in the mountains and swim in the lochs, but unfortunately I was in-prisoned on the bus. Maybe Dan the prison Man won’t notice if I don’t get back on the bus…. and anyways, Glencoe is the home of Skyfall where James Bond lives so I could always go hang there… Upon arriving at Glencoe, rather than join the others in the visitor center, I decided to hike up the hill to the viewpoint, joined by Robert, the dude from the bus who sat opposite me, also traveling solo, really friendly and up for a chat. The view of Glencoe was magnificent, magical, all those WOW words. The sun shone in streams down the mountains and valleys, I could hardly believe just how stunning it was. Pictures don’t do it justice, not even close. This is the Scotland I love. Build me a little house on a hill overlooking Glencoe and I’d be happy for life. Throw in my very own Jamie Fraser and I’d never have reason to leave!!

After admiring the beauty of Glencoe, it was BOTB and before long, another stop at the Tears of Glencoe, a gorgeous waterfall that given the story about the massacre, really did make you think maybe the mountains were crying, or maybe that song just still had me overly emo…

Another short leg down the road and we hopped off the bus at The Three Sisters, a stunning mountain range that’s home of the Highlander, the infamous place where MacCleod does battle and dies… must go back and watch that movie. I was in absolute awe of how pretty the mountains were, I think I must have said WOW a million times that day…

After being wowsers at the mountains and waterfalls it was onto Fort William. For those peeps that watch Outlander and already got my Jamie Fraser reference, you’d know that Fort William plays a starring role in the first season. I was keen as mustard to see the fort and walk around the ruins like Claire did in the 1950’s… Dan not the Man completely burst my bubble when he informed us that it was NOT the same fort from Outlander and in fact, all that remained was a couple of walls. Talk about a party pooper. Rocking up in Fort William and immediately legging it over to the fort, Dan the serious Man was not joking, literally a couple of brick walls with a few canons so the walls could pretend they were a fort… Disappointing but it did make me wonder if I actually belonged in the time of forts and castles… Maybe our stop on the last day at Craigh Na Doon would send me back…

My disappointment from the fort was replaced with major excitement when the group reconvened at the train station and it was all aboard the Jacobite train… wait, isn’t that a song?? Not really sure why it’s called the Jacobite train, if I wasn’t 40,000 feet in the air while writing this I’d Google but even Google cant reach here, well at least not on Ryanair… I digress… my excitement for the train was because it went over the bridge from Harry Potter!! You know the one in the second movie with the flying car and Ron and Harry are trying to catch up with the Hogwarts train?? Yeah nah??? Check out the pics and vid below and you’ll know what I mean. Actually called a Viaduct for reals, would Google the actual name but can’t, seems I don’t function without Google…

In between getting carpel tunnel from snapping a million pics, on the train I was lucky enough to sit next to Robert and chat with a fun American couple Christi and Todd. Now it was on this trip that I learnt Robert was one of the coolest dudes I’d ever met, too bad about the 20 year age gap! Mr Craig (Robert not Daniel) had seen live in concert Queen, The Rolling Stones and The Who, all for under £10, AND had a ticket to Live Aid. If you know your music history or have seen the Bohemian Rhapsody movie, you’ll know that Live Aid was one of the most epic concerts of all time. Unfortunately Robert broke his leg a few days earlier so didn’t go and regrets it to this day. Don’t blame him, I would too!! He also saw INXS live, dude is a bit of a legend. The train ride itself was bloody brilliant as Ron would say, steam train through the beautiful Scottish countryside, great company and a bar cart serving gin. When Robert was the only other to order a beverage I knew we’d be BFFs for this trip!!! Disembarking at the train station, it’s was pics galore with the beautiful piece of machinery, and with some encouragement from Robert, I used my Aussie charm on the conductor so I could to climb inside the train engine area, no idea what it’s called…

Another gentle nudge from Robert and I was into the tower where they control the train tracks and having a go at pulling all the levers. Yeah, this guy knows how to have fun!!

In the town of Mylaig, which is pronounced like My Leg, which for some reason I found hilarious, we found another member for our crew. Apparently Robert spotted Peta on the train chatting with some older ladies but thought maybe she was keen on some younger company, she was also cute as a button which may have had something to do with it!! Over some fries and a gin at the local, us three got chatting and I realized that this trip would not be the quiet trip I’d thought, I had just met two of the friendliest, loveliest people ever… who also liked a gin or two and could have a good laugh. Peta is a high school teacher from Brissie, only 10ish years older than me and Robert is Scottish, 20ish years older than me in age but at least 5 years younger at heart.

From My Leg it was BOTB and we headed for the ferry over to the Isle of Skye. Dan the music Man was trying to be funny, it was Friday the 13th and we were going on a boat so he cranked the Titanic theme song, pretty sure I was the only one laughing because by the looks of the waves and the grumpy clouds over head, it was not going to be a fun ride!!! Onto the ferry and for some reason I thought the top deck was the place to be. The ferry did some mighty rolls, spraying us with delicious ocean water and blowing the hairs off our heads, well trying anyway. Mighty fun, only downer was that I couldn’t find my phone so not only did I not get any pics of the ferry madness, I spent the whole ride with my fingers crossed it was on the bus, otherwise how would I survive… joking, not joking…

BOTB and my phone was patiently waiting for me on the seat, enjoying the rest from my never ending reel of photos and videos. Off the ferry and I was at the place that was the reason for the trip to Scotland, to see the stunning Isle of Skye… unfortunately during trip from the mainland, an epic storm had rolled in and Dan the wet Man informed us a hurricane was on its way. Couldn’t tell if he was joking… At the 5th BNB stop I was lucky enough to be herded off into the same place as Peta. I was given a big gorgeous room with a double bed, big screen on the wall and en-suite… Winning! Knock on the door and ooops they’d given me the wrong room, my room was actually a broom closet for the next two nights, doh, luck had run out!! Anyhoo, regrouping for dinner, Peta and I wandered down the road to the only place that was open for some delicious Scottish food and possibly the worst waitress I’ve ever experienced in my life!! Grunts when asked questions, eye rolls when ordering and apparently getting the bill is just asking too much. Robert joined us for a few drinks, much to the waitress’s dismay, and before we knew it, we were the last ones left. Ok so maybe the waitress now had a reason to be grumpy! Little did we know that finding a taxi for Robert back to his BNB in the middle of nowhere would be as hard as it was for the waitress to get the bill… Calls to three taxi companies later and there was a dude on his way, I think I may have woken him up. He was nice enough to drop Peta and I off on the way, well Robert was, the grunts from the driver suggested otherwise. Getting back to our BNB and looking forward to a warm bed we were delighted to find we’d been locked out. Awesome sauce. The delightful (I’m lying) inn keeper said the door would be open until 1am, it was a little after 11am. Do time and manners work differently here?? After some rather loud knocking that could only just be heard over the hurricane like winds, we were in. Yes the inn keeper was in her nightie and we felt like AH’s for waking her but there’s no way in hell sleeping outside was even an option. Dan the Man was not joking about the hurricane being on its way….

September 30, 2019 0

Edin-Love and the greys…

Wednesday 11th – Thursday 12th September 2019

Having gotten back from Ireland Sunday night, I had itchy feet and by Monday midday had booked a 5 day bus tour of Scotland plus an extra few days tacked on the end plus a weekend catching up with the Geordie. Sometimes I just blink and there’s another trip booked…

So having spent a few days regrouping, by the Wednesday I was off to Edinburgh and you seriously could not contain my excitement. I can’t even explain in words how Edinburgh makes me feel, that feeling when you get home after a long holiday, a feeling of safety and relaxation and love… but it’s for somewhere I’ve only been once before. Maybe it’s a premonition that it’ll be home one day??

So off the train and straight into the Royal Mile, no wiping that smile off my face for days!! Spent the afternoon and night just legging it around Edinburgh, seeing all I could while wearing a goofy grin on my face…

Not sure if it was the high of being somewhere I loved or having plenty of time to kill but when I saw the Love Hate tattoo parlour, the decision was made, I was getting the tattoo I’d been longing for… looked pretty shit after, blood and eww but here’s one from later when it was looking schmick, and I was in Florence…

Up bright and early for my Thursday tour, I was keen as beans to get started on an epic Scottish adventure. Finding my group and securing an awesome seat on the bus, I was set and ready to go, then I looked up over all the grey heads on the bus tour, oh crap, what had I signed up for?? Did I miss the note about the trip being for 55+??? Oh well, lots of early nights and living easy for the next 5 days… Note: oh how wrong was I!!!

Driving through Scottish countryside is stunning, can’t even explain well enough the natural beauty of the rugged hills, the lochs and streams and all the green, so gorgeous. Everywhere you look is photo worthy, just stunning. First stop in Luss at the gorgeous Loch Lomond. Luss got its name, meaning herbs, cos back in the day one of the graves buried under the church started sprouting herbs… would ya eat them though? Interesting way to get a name… Should have just called it Lush aye Geordie?? So Loch Lomond, one hell of a big freshwater lake, the largest lake in Great Britain by surface area as Google tells me, and considered the boundry between the central lowlands of Scotland and the highlands. Not sure what a Loch is?? Picture a massive massive lake, surrounded by rugged mountains, pebbles shores and grumpy grey skies. They just feel like magic to me!! Now I didn’t quite remember everything about Loch Lomond so quickly jumped on their website and now I have the giggles, check out what’s on their homepage… I have the maturity of a 5 year old…

While in Luss I wondered the village and was all stalker like taking pictures of the cute houses, I really am a horrible tourist…

Back on the bus and made our way through the Trossachs National Park, the smallest National Park in Scotland, but there are only two… tour guide thinks he’s funny… Our next stop was for a view over the Argyll mountains, beyond stunning, low clouds, green valleys and empty roads, somehow expected some highland warriors to jump out of the bushes, god I would have loved that!!

Back on the bus and Inveraray bound for our lunch stop, apparently there’s a castle, a pub and a loch to check out… guess which one i did?? Surprise, or not, the castle won out, looked like something from a Disney movie, half expected Prince Charming to come galloping out on his white stallion… gorgeous!! Not so keen on the inside, realised I much prefer the outside of castles and like them in ruins… starting to psychoanalyse myself now!!

Managed to leg it around the castle and gardens in the rain, only stabbing myself in the eye once with the umbrella and won the game of chicken with the cars coming down the castle road. Wandering down the road in the Scottish countryside, rain on the umbrella, music in my ears, not a care in the world, have to say I was feeling pretty damn happy. Back in town it was a quick bite to eat, check out the town and loch and then, you guessed it back on the bus… is it time to abbreviate that yet??? BOTB, seems appropriate…

I think it was on the way to the old stones at Kilmartin that I started singing out loud on the bus, not sure the oldies appreciated my rendition of Eminem’s Lose Yourself but was feeling pretty damn amazing, Scotland does that to ya!! In the lead up to arriving at the Standing Stones, Daniel, (our tour guide who I’d only just realized was also our bus driver, usually they are two separate people right?), was talking up the stones, older than the pyramids apparently, over 2,000 years old that’d be, the whole area of Kilmartin Glen has over 650 monuments, some 5,000 years old if I’m writing my numbers right.. according to Dan the Man, people have been in Scotland since 8,500 B.C., like before the ice age… that doesn’t sound right? Were they around with the dinosaurs?? Now I’m getting confused, how long ago were there dinosaurs??? Well travelled but not overly smart… back to Dan the Man’s account… Around 70 something A.D. the Romans arrived, marked their territory and called it Britannia, obvs it’s name has since derived from that. Some Roman dude called Hadrian, who apparently hated women, built a massive wall to keep out the savages to the north… that includes you Geordie!! Scotland was referred to as Caledonia, who knew??? I’m sure there’s more to the story, maybe Dan the Man didn’t know or maybe I tuned out, buses make me sleepy… but low and behold, we arrived at the standing stones. Yeah, they were kinda cool. Think Dan the Man may have talked them up a bit, mention anything in the same sentence as pyramids and my imagination goes a bit cray cray!! But they were interesting, back in the day can imagine they meant something useful, Dan who possibly is no longer the Man suggested they showed the longest and shortest days of the year when the sun shone through in a certain way, but did they even have years back then… could google it but that just takes away all the fun of still being confused about when dinosaurs were around… Anyways, apparently it’s bad luck to touch the stones, oops…

BOTB and like no one is perfect, no country is perfect. I’ve found the one thing I don’t like about Scotland, Scottish music. I’m not talking bagpipes, that I can do, I mean Scottish folk music… hurts your ears, give me some good Aussie rock anyway! Last pit stop of the day, an old church but really it was all about the toilets. Having a 30 something year old bladder, unlike my older counter parts I had time to take a looksie around the church. Not a good idea, gave me the heeby jeebies, love me a church but something about this one I did not like, just felt off and angry, spidey senses said no…

So finally rocking up into our stop for the night, a cute town called Oban. And here was my first taste of tour accommodation, about 7 different BNBs to stop at, Dan the Man calling out names like a cattle call, get off, grab bags, check em in then back on the bus, Dan deserves a decent tip… I lucked out this night, paid for the second cheapest option, BNB no en-suite and got the top one, a hotel room. I’d love to say I was adventurous and had a massive awesome night but I’d aged 20 years that day and joined the other grandmas in having an early night… little did I know the Colosseum place on top of the hill was actually open, contrary to what Dan the Man said. Had I known, I would have hiked up there. Take my tip back Dan…

P.S. The wonderful Robert who you’ll soon hear of sent me these beautiful pics of Oban…

September 28, 2019 0

For the Throne

Saturday 7th – Sunday 8th September 2019

So here starts one of my absolute favourite days of the year! Being a massive Game of Thrones nerd, and Kyles being one too but in way cooler fashion, we decided to do the GoT (Game of Thrones as hence will be known) tour around Northern Ireland. For the GoT nerds playing at home, you’ll recognize some iconic locations, for everyone else, it’s just real pretty so stay tuned!!

At some stage in the previous days, possibly over a gin or two, we got our Google on, found all the locations and Kyles worked her magic with Google maps and all of a sudden we had an itinerary for the trek. Looked a little something like this:

I know, laugh to yourself, there’s no way to possibly do all that in one day! Or is there??? After nearly paying £1,600 to hire a car due to dodgy fine print, thank god for Aussie charm, we were on the road, with me at the wheel as I was the only one with an international drivers license. I was a little confused at first, the towns had speed limit signs but once you hit the highway, there was nothing. Then I realized what the circle with the black line through it meant, no speed limit!!! Kyles I think felt my moment of realization as I put pedal to metal and an evil smile crept over my face. It didn’t go unnoticed that her hand coyly made it up to the handle to hold on for dear life!! Unfortunately we were only in a Ford Fiesta so hitting 80 mph hour was a groan, that’s around 130kmph. Stop freaking out Mum! I slowed down for the corners…

So apparently about 75 per cent of GoT is filmed in Northern Ireland, I think we saw maybe 5% of it, had we hired a mustang I could have really put my foot down and seen at least 25%, but here goes…

Stop 1: Downhill Beach & Mussenden Temple in Londonderry

GoT: Remember the first inkling that maybe Melisandre was a looney when she burnt a heap of people on the beach in season 2 as an offering to the Lord of Light? Ugh, the things people do for religion… The cliffs were also transformed into Dragonstone, ancestral home of House Targaryen and stronghold of the Baratheons.

K&H: We had a more delightful time on the beach doing cartwheels, dorky photos, leaving our mark in the sand and doing normal things, like enjoy the scenery as opposed to burning people, although I did do a good impression of a burning man…

We also ventured up to the temple itself and the castle, cos by god so we love a castle!!! Tip for travelers, get through the gate before it officially opens and you don’t pay entry fees, and have time to chat to the lovely Irish dude making coffee before the crowds swarm… Views from the temple were unbelievable, and the castle, even though it’s heritage listed, you’re free to climb all over it?!? Would not happen in AUS…

Stop 2: Dunluce Castle – Bushmills

GoT: Castle Greyjoy, appears in lots of seasons!!! Although I’m thinking the CGI involved was epic cos it’s not looking too much like the original!!

K&H: It might not look like it, but the castle is on a highway so scooting along and there it is, the buses lined up should have been a dead giveaway… a U-bolt later and we’re tucked in front of a bus, parks are harder to come by than castles in Ireland! Would have loved to explore but unfortunately this is as close as you can get! Pics don’t do it justice in terms of magnificence perched on the edge of a cliff, get why it was the perfect place to be the Iron Islands!!!

Stop 3: Giants Causeway – Bushmills

GoT: Giants Causeway isn’t in GoT but not sure why the hell not?? Would have been the perfect place for Drogon to BBQ Varys, or for Jon to mope…

K&H: Once again a locals tip proved useful, park down the hill so you don’t have to pay and detour around the outside of the visitor Centre not through it so once again, you don’t have to pay. No wonder leprechauns have a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, bloody need one just to visit all the sites! As far as natural wonders go, Giants Causeway is absolutely stunning, well, would be when not covered with tourists. Once again, people are free to wonder all over, wet rocks, crashing waves and tourists in search of the ultimate selfie, what could go wrong?? In all seriousness, beautiful hexagon shaped stones jutting up and down creating staircase like trails with pools of water and waves crashing. So stunning. Quite a few moments of contemplation were had just taking it all in, and also wondering how the hell we get back down off the rocks… this place alone is worth a trip to Ireland!! My pics don’t do it justice so have stolen a good one from Google, obvs which one it is…

Stop 4: Bushmills Distillery – Bushmills

GoT: So obvs they don’t film at any distilleries in GoT but they sure do down a lot of grog so surely this is worthy of the GoT tour??? Pretty sure Cersei would have had to down a few before her wifey duties with the boar of a man King Robert…

K&H: Being designated Dave I couldn’t partake in a full whiskey tasting of my own but sharing is caring so had a swig of Kylie’s and by gosh, I’m turning into a whiskey convert… the fire in your throat, felt like a dragon! The bar man was kind enough, or we paid enough, to give us a run down on what we were tasting, dates and raisins in the 12 yo, toffee and dark chocolate in the 16 yo and citrus in the 21 yo… I just tasted whiskey… I think the good stuff is lost on me! The distillery itself was pretty, and one gentleman in particular was too, made me walk into Kylie while he was giving her one hell of an Irish smile!!

Stop 5: Dark Hedges – Stranocum, Antrim

GoT: Season 2 this site doubled as the Kingsroad in which a young and not yet faceless Arya Stark travelled in the back of a cart along with Yoren, Gendry and Hot Pie heading to The Wall. Apparently also the road that led Ned Stark to his death… let’s just call it the road to death…

K&H: So the Dark Hedges aren’t actually the Kingsroad. As you’re driving to the visitor center for the Dark Hedges, you literally drive through the Dark Hedges, we realized this about half way through!! But thought, nah, that couldn’t be it!! The Dark Hedges themselves aren’t in GoT, just really pretty trees that create a canopy over the road and block out sunlight… as the name would suggest… somehow we still weren’t convinced we’d seen them or the GoT site so paid to enter only to soon learn that yup, we’d driven through them already and past the “free to see” GoT road… only found that due to the hoards of people on the road, dead giveaway. Too bad for anyone wanting to actually drive on the road! Still an awesome walk through a forest and up the Kingsroad, beautiful place and not surprised it was used so much in GoT, the first place to look just like a scene from the show, the others have needed a stretch of the imagination somewhat!!

Stop 6: Ballintoy Harbour – Ballintoy

GoT: Lordsport Harbour in the Iron Islands where Theon Greyjoy returns home expecting a tic tac parade but instead hears crickets… also where he first meets his sister Yara, we all remember what happened on that horse ride. Spots around this area were also used for the funeral of Balon Greyjoy, the old mean dude and for the drowning of Euron to crown him King.

K&H: The pedal came off the metal for the descent down into the harbour, Kyles was still holding on for dear life but more so due to the multiple 180 turns rather than my driving, possibly a bit of both! Once there, it’s was obvious everyone was there for GoT. The crowd around the GoT plaque was a give away, as was the fact that while pretty, this small harbour hardly saw any action before GoT and probs only had about 5 visitors a year, who were probs just lost… still worth a visit, everywhere in Northern Island is gorgeous and this was no exception!

Stop 7a: Larrybane Quarry – North Antrim

GoT: The location where we were introduced to one of my favourite characters, Brienne of Tarth, when she kicked the arse of all the other Knights, including Loras Tyrell to earn her service under Renley Baratheon, one of my least favorite characters, lacked balls, and not in the way Varys did. Catelyn Stark also makes an appearance here, another kick ass female in the GoT universe, as does the shadow baby, did we ever work out what that was all about?!? Thought he was the Lord of Light, not shadows…

K&H: Kinda weird going to this location because it’s actually the car park for the Carrick-A-Rede rope bridge. So yeah, parking on the set location. Unless you’re a GoT nerd, probs would have no idea and just write it off as the pain in the arse car park further away from the main car park. Regardless, could see how the scene would come to life and probs deserves to be more recognised as it was quite pretty in its own right.

Stop 7b: Carrick-A-Rede Rope bridge – North Antrim

GoT: In season 6 the egotistical Euron Greyjoy pushes his older bro Balon Greyjoy, King of the Iron Islands off this bridge. Oh what brotherly love!!!

K&H: I’d been a teensy weensy, or a hell of a lot nervous all day leading up to this. Walking across a rope bridge some 100ft (30m) above the ocean is something of a challenge for someone scared of heights! But I’ve never let fear stop me do anything – jump out of a plane, walk the roof of Adelaide Oval, parasail… I know fear is all in my head and it’s something I can talk myself through, if only my legs would of stopped shaking and my palms not been so sweaty…. on the walk over I held on both sides tightly, pretty sure I also held my breathe as tightly too. Luckily Kyles was first to cross with me close behind so not heaps of people making the bridge bounce. Wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be, and the views on the little island we crossed to made it worth it. The views walking down to the bridge were also bloody beautiful. The whole place is stunning, even without any intentions of crossing the bridge, it’s still worth a visit! For the crossing on the way back I’d built up my courage and decided I’d film it. Strangely my fear of dropping my phone was worse than the fear of falling off, good distraction tactic or a sign of a phone addiction??? Anyhoo, the adrenalin of being scared shitless is always worth it!

Stop 8: Cushenden caves – Antrim

GoT: Who could forget Melisandre giving birth to a murderous shadow baby?!? Definitely didn’t see that one coming! The caves are where said birth took place in season 2. If I was Davos, after seeing that I would have just left her there!

K&H: The little town where the caves are is cute and quaint, actually felt bad for the locals parking so illegally… the caves are literally around the corner from a pub and you really did feel like you were in Westeros. With not much else in the scene, you could almost imagine a row boat rocking up at any moment and Davos jumping out, and me drowning Melisandre. Joking, she was good in the end, wasn’t she?? Still not sure about that. Anyhoo, the caves were pretty damn cool for a wander around. Not as cavey as I thought they’d be.

Stop 9: Carrickfergus Castle – Carrickfergus

GoT: Once again, not actually used in GoT but there are so many epic castles in the show, this may as well have been one of them. I suppose considering Sainsbury’s was next door, probs would have been hard to shut down the entire area just for the show!

K&H: We were finally Belfast bound after an epic day of adventure and when there’s an option of seeing one more castle, you see the one more castle!!! Big gorgeous castle but was smack bang in the middle of town so kinda lost its magic on account of it’s suburbia location, a bank and Indian takeaway across the road just didn’t sell it to me! The sunset sure as hell made up for it!!!

GoT tour break: Back in Belfast still with the hire car, we hit the town but made a pact that we’d be home by midnight so we could get up at 8am and head to Winterfell. Should NOT have gone to the Thirsty Goat for round two… needless to say we staggered in at around 2am, somewhere during the night I stole this dude Kevin’s glasses, I gave em back though!! Another brilliant night with Kyles, have missed her so much!!!

Stop 10: Inch Abbey – Down

GoT: This place was used as Robb Stark’s Camp near Riverrun in season 1, long live the young wolf, really had hoped he’d last longer. Surely he would have made a better King than Bran the Broken, oops, spoiler… Catelyn Stark also rocked up here, still haunted by her death in the Red Wedding, surely Cersei deserved that not her!!

K&H: Believe it or not, we did actually get up at 8 and hit the road. Yes there was a lot of bacon and huge coffees involved but neither of us were giving up the chance to see Winterfell, no matter how sore our heads were!! Our stop on the way at Inch Abbey was the tranquility needed to soothe our heads, the beautiful ruins with no one around, well not tourists anyway, just a man walking his dog. Really beautiful, can imagine how stunning the Abbey would have been in its day. Shame that so many castles and abbeys have gone to ruin.

Stop 11: Castle Ward – Strangford, Co. Down

GoT: WINTERFELL!!! Home of the only family left intact, well they did lose the young wolf and the kid that couldn’t zig zag… almost intact!! One of the most iconic locations throughout the show from the very first episode to the last. Long live Queen Sansa, oops, another spoiler…

K&A: Well we made it. The number one place on our must see was Winterfell!! Honestly, wee bit disappointed… could see how the courtyard would be set up, one of the tower and gates looked like Winterfell but defs lots of CGI on this one. That aside, always awesome to see a castle, the lake near by was stunning and it was a sweet walk through the forest to the castle. And hey, I’ve been to Winterfell, tick that one off the bucket list!!

And so here ends our GoT tour of Northern Ireland, not only did we get our kicks seeing where they filmed, we also saw some of the most beautiful sites of the country, Ireland is absolutely stunning and the people are just as lovely. What a great time us two besties had, but back to Belfast then London to enjoy the last of summer as winter is coming…

P.S. My Geordie mate was nice enough to tell me two weeks later that the sign I thought meant no speed limit actually means ‘national speed limit’ which is 70mph… ooops, guess the speeding fines are in the mail 😬

September 25, 2019 0

What’s the craic??

Thursday 5th September – Sunday 8th September 2019

When meeting someone, I know within the first 5 minutes whether I like them or not. I do the same thing with cities. Judge mental fuck I know. But it’ll help you understand how within 5 minutes of getting off the train in Belfast, I knew this was my kinda city!! While waiting for Kyles to finish work, thought I’d leg it around to the botanic gardens, just a casual stroll along the river… see why I liked it so quickly??

About half way into stomping down the river way, low and behold, Kylie was going to be back at the hotel in 15 minutes… the hotel which was 5 minutes away from where I was 20 minutes ago! All good, get those steps up and work off the gin that would inevitably be consumed later…

Finally joining Kyles at her accommodation, I was well and truly pooped, as was she but we were both of the mind that if we sat down we’d never get back up so instead it was a freshen up and hit the town scenario, for a quiet one of course… Quiet was redefined that night to a delicious dinner at a fancy restaurant followed by epic dance moves to an equally as epic Irish band. Cotton Eye Joe cranked in a pub in Belfast and not a person stood still… or they weren’t standing still in our eyes due to the gins we were drinking?!? Being with Kyles, you always meet people, she’s the friendly one, I’m the grumpy sheep. We met some dude that looked like Grey Worm from Game of Thrones, a British boxer, a lightweight one by the looks of him… met a gorgeous couple from Scotland who were having a weekend away from the kids, that chick could rip up the dance floor!! And we met other people, this chick and those dudes, hell knows who they are, also managed to get an awesome pic of the band…

Throughout the night as my camera roll tells me, we found the most stunning street art on random walls and alleyways, Belfast was quickly getting into my top 10 of places I love, and the Cathedral Quarter where we partied one of the best!! And kudos for the best pub in the town being called The Thirsty Goat!!

Needless to say Friday was a little slow, well for me anyway, Kyles had to get up and work but my planned day of “see all the things” turned into sleep and annoy Kylie. We did manage to fit in an afternoon tour of the Crumlin Gaol… now me being a bogan Aussie kept pronouncing it as it looks but apparently you say it like “jail”, whateves, not my fault they can’t spell…

To alleviate the amount of nothingness done in the previous 10 hours, we decided to walk to the JAIL and by god, I’m glad we did, we literally stumbled across the most amazing, beautiful church I’ve ever seen in my life, lost for words… photos don’t do it justice!

So finally making it to the JAIL after a coffee and taxi ride, we were at Belfast’s number one tourist attraction. Eh, it was kinda interesting. The room where they hang people, hidden behind a bookcase, opened in dramatic fashion by the tour guide, was interesting but mostly confronting. Can’t imagine how it’d feel to stare at the noose to soon be around your neck. Sure the dudes (all men) were murderers but still, no matter how horrible your morals are, surely this would suck arse… anyhoo, there was a section of of the jail we couldn’t see because it’s reserved for weddings… morbid much??

The really cool part of the tour, in addition to the helicopter, was the tunnel from the jail to the court house, looked eerie, felt even stranger when hearing the stories about people walking the tunnel to their fate…

After having a “quiet” one the night before, we attempted to do a quiet one for reals. Wandering the streets and taking in even more beautiful murals, we stumbled into a Whiskey shop (of course!) and Kyles being the friendly chick she is got us recommendations for dinner. The Cloth Ear it was, the Irish certainly know how to name their pubs! By god, the deliciousness of their beef and Irish ale pie was drool worthy, so so delicious, surely this was what the dudes at the jail ordered for their last meal??

As delicious as it was, I do remember Noel saying that the real Irish don’t put beer in their food, they drink it… so maaaybe, it was a tourist trap meal but who cares, tasted AMAZING!! Also what came back to me during the day, the good ol’ Irish lingo!! “What’s the craic? is the Aussie equivalent of “whats happening?”, and the best one, eejit, wander what it means??? Say idiot with an Irish accent… there you go!!!

Believe it or not, we did somehow have an early night?!? Knowing we were about to embark on an epic day trip around Northern Ireland was pretty much the only reason to justify being in bed by 10pm on a Friday night in Belfast.

Our For The Throne trip around Northern Ireland is worthy of its own long winded, over explained blog post so check that out… I’m gonna skip ahead to Sunday afternoon once we got back from Winterfell…

After dropping off the hire car, we had six and a half hours to see and do everything in Belfast… easy peasey! First stop, the Titanic museum, Belfast is after all the place they built the unsinkable ship and used to be the hub of ship building in Europe. The oldest shipbuilding company in the city went into receivership only a few days ago, pretty darn sad…

So here’s where I be a complete AH and say I wasn’t a massive fan of the Titanic museum. Like it was interesting reading about the history of shipbuilding in Belfast and going on the cool carriage ride but when it came to the Titanic info, to be honest, most of it I’d already read about. And here’s my confession why, I may have been a little obsessed with the movie when it came out and Googled everything and anything about the Titanic. And I’m really good at remembering useless facts. The one thing which made the visit worth it, an immersive tour of the ship, three screens – left, right and front, taking you through a tour of the decks of Titanic, that was pretty wow.

Titanic museum done and dusted, Kyles and I who are nothing if not efficient decided the hop on hop off bus was the best way to take in Belfast in the remaining 5 hours before we begrudgingly went back to London. Our hoppin tour took us past Parliament House, the Opera House and possibly a second Parliament House?!? Which is interesting because I swear the hoppin tour guide said Northern Ireland don’t actually have a government at the moment! So here’s what I’m ashamed to say I didn’t know before going to Ireland, well kinda knew but not really, Ireland isn’t one country, there’s the Republic of Ireland which is the southern half, where Dublin resides, its own country, own government, own citizens. Then there’s Northern Ireland which falls under British Empire rule. Maybe it was just me that didn’t know that… also didn’t know that Northern Ireland had a massive wall built to separate the Nationalists and Unionists, who are they you say?? Trust me, Google was my bestie on this trip!! The Nationalists are a political movement, who are mostly Catholic, who say that the Irish people are a nation and want the creation of a sovereign Irish nation-state on the island of Ireland, including both the republic and Northern Ireland. On the other hand, Unionists, who are Protestant, favour the continuation of a political union between the islands of Ireland and Great Britain. The wall is supposedly a peace wall, built in 1969 following The Troubles, to minimize violence between the nationalists and unionists. If like me you don’t know what The Troubles were, do a Holly and make Google your best friend, really interesting reads. The song by U2 Sunday Bloody Sunday is named after the worst day in the three decade war which was The Troubles. Also some good doco’s on YouTube about it. Wish I knew more about the history of Ireland before I visited so I could have really understood the murals and sentiment of the different areas.

But a lesson to be learnt, walls don’t achieve anything, when have they ever in history??? Build bridges not walls, yeah, I’m with you on that one. The area where part of the old wall once stood is full of incredible murals and strongly political messages that hail back to the The Troubles. The wall itself is covered with what some would call graffiti, I’m calling it wall art, with people writing their own personal messages. To be honest, neither Kyles or I could think of anything to write befitting of the significance of the wall… and we didn’t have a texta.

After taking the time to reflect on the the importance of where we were standing, we quite literally had to leg it through a questionable neighborhood to jump on the last hoppin bus, which took us on our last grand tour of Belfast, and by gosh, she’s a pretty city!!!!

When you’re in love with a city and have had an epic time with a bestie, leaving is always sad, but thinking about our Ireland adventure makes me smile, so many good memories. You know what else makes me smile?? Guinness! Proud to say I ❤️ Ireland and I ❤️ Guinness, it especially goes down mighty well when your plane is delayed by 2 hours, thanks Jetstar, I mean easyJet, not my fault their logo looks exactly the same…

September 15, 2019 0

The windy leprechaun

Monday 2nd September – Thursday 5th September 2019

Ah Ireland, land of leprechauns and Guinness, and to be fair, not actually sure what else at this stage!! The choice of traveling to Ireland puts me back into the sheep category, Kylie had to go to Belfast for work so thought I’d follow and explore the island of Ireland!

Although Kyles doesn’t get to Belfast til Wednesday, I couldn’t go to Ireland as a tourist and not pop into Dublin, it is the capital after all! Did have to Google that just to make sure… so off I went on my lonesome to Dublin. Just when I thought I was mastering the London tube and trains, I quite literally missed my train to Gatwick by 45 seconds… unfortunately I’m yet to master google maps and headed completely in the wrong direction out of the tube station. And the trains here leave on the dot, a 7.45am train leaves at 7.45am and no seconds… but all good, was allowing myself a 2 hour window at Gatwick on account of my first upcoming experience with Ryan Air. We don’t even have an equivalent that is as bad in Australia… or as cheap!! Kyles last Ryan Air experience to Lisbon in Portugal had them land in a completely different city so needless to say my expectations were whatever is below low… but… somehow they were exceeded!?! Easy boarding, no weighing of carry on, actually landed in Dublin, didn’t crash, hmmm, maybe I was an exception not the rule!!

Landing in Dublin in a shroud of rain, which I’d come to learn is as common as oxygen in the air, the thing that I loved straight off was that all the signs are in Gaelic and English. But Gaelic first. For a predominantly English speaking country, I love that they are proud of their heritage and make retaining their culture a priority.

After securing my status as a tourist with a Do Dublin train pass, I was city bound. I guess I expected a city similar to London, not as big but the same charm. Hmmm, first impressions were slightly underwhelming, the constant rain didn’t help. The city is pretty, the river Liffey running through, some cool bridges, but the main river front strip, ehh… kind of the same feeling as when I hit Glasgow, however by the time I left Glasgow I was in love with the city so tried not to be a judgmental AH and headed for the hood, Temple Bar, where ALL the tourists go apparently! So here’s the thing, Temple Bar is a pub, Temple Bar is also a lane, a bar is a lane… For someone already google map challenged, you can imagine my confusion. After buying my second umbrella in as many weeks (whoever told me it’s summer lied..), I found the pub version of Temple Bar and must say, for midday on a Monday, it was pumping! Irish music in full swing, people in every nook and cranny skulling a Guinness… its times like this I hate traveling alone! Just wanted a mate to drink a beer with and get into the mood… my mood however remained that of a drowned rat so instead I headed to a quiet Mexican tacoria around the corner for the worst Mexican of my life…

Although Dublin hadn’t started well, by the time I checked into the broom closet at my Air BNB, I was ready to rumble and knew the one sure thing to turn this frown upside down… the Guinness Storehouse!! Home of the world renowned beer and one of the top tourist attractions in Dublin.. too bad I don’t like Guinness but eh…

Wasn’t quite sure what to expect from the Storehouse, if you’ve been to the D’Arendberg Cube in RADelaide you know that people who drink too much of their own brew can get quite whacky! The Storehouse was kinda like the cube, some whack but still pretty cool. So Arthur Guinness who bought the brewery signed a 9,000 year lease for £90 a month… if that isn’t vision and a whole lotta ego I don’t know what is… only 8,840 years left to make or break as a business! Dude also had 21 children, busy man! The Storehouse is all about the beer, as you’d expect, with a few whacky things thrown in for entertainment value, the cycling fish had something to do with branding, the clocks with uh, time probs, can’t remember specifically what… it was a damn cool setup, and the Gravity bar at the top with 360 views of the city was a stroke of genius because let’s be honest, peeps like me who don’t drink Guinness are here for that!! In all honesty, bloody loved learning how they make beer, have a fascination with the process, stinks but the outcome is delicious! The setup itself in the old brewing factory is pretty manic, 7 levels of anything and everything to do with Guinness, the family history, the beer making process, a waterfall, the history of the brand, tasting rooms, a floor of cafes and of course the Gravity bar. Just don’t look down when going up the escalator, can make the legs shake… while I wasn’t a fan of Aussie Guinness, the stuff in Ireland is pretty damn tasty, might grow on me yet…

So after surveying the sites of Dublin from Gravity bar and with a pint in the belly, I thought it was a fab idea to walk back to my Air BNB, only 45 minutes… in the rain… with the worlds shonkiest umbrella, really should have caught a cab half way there when I was back in drowned rat territory but I’m stubborn and damn it I was gonna get my 10,000 steps that day…

In my pre-planning I’d allocated Tuesday to being a super tourist. Hop on hop off bus around the city and unashamedly take selfies in front of all the landmarks. May as well slap a tourist stamp on my forehead! Think I did EVERY Dublin landmark in one day, some out the window of the bus, others I took time to actually get my lazy arse off the bus and look up close. Rather than relying on Google, I asked a few friends the do’s in Dublin, Trinity College and the Book of Kells seemed to be a common theme so tackled the rain to dismount the bus and see what this book is all about.

Walking into the college was like a scene from Pitch Perfect, you know the one with all the clubs and groups setup on the lawns trying to get people to join?? Needless to say the Barden Bella’s didn’t ask me join, on second thought, none of the clubs did, do I not look young enough to be starting college?? Don’t answer…

So from what I remember, the Book of Kells is the oldest book in existence, the original bible written in Latin by monks… Google tells me I’m wrong, it’s the gospels written in Latin in 800A.D, got the monks bit right though… So it wasn’t the first bible, but apparently the most “illuminated”, which just means pretty, and it is Ireland’s most valued national treasure. Thanks Google. The museum about this one book was full of writing and pics on the walls about the book which was interesting but really the entree before the main.. the book itself was holed up in a little room that fit about 30 people but managed to squish in about 100… did manage to get a quick glimpse of the book and have to admit, it was pretty damn amazing, for a book!! The pages are made from leather, the colours are vibrant and the calligraphy out of this world, I guess when you’re a monk, what else is there to do?? Kinda humbling seeing something written over 1,000 years ago… no pics allowed of the book itself so here’s one of the replica, and some other pics about it from the museum…

So you walk out of the itsy bitsy room of the book, thinking the sites are done and dusted, but then you walk into this… the most stunning library I’ve ever seen… well, I haven’t been to many libraries in all honesty but surely this would be up there with one of the most stunning… kinda reminds me of the one from Beauty & the Beast… The library also housed some of the first books ever written and illustrated about psychology and the anatomy of the human body, being a big nerd I lapped it up…

Of course the dude called Bacon was my favorite… don’t know who he was but never met a bacon I didn’t like…

Next stop on my tourist visa was the Christ Church Cathedral, actually meant to see Dublin Castle but once again misinterpreted Google maps… without stroking my own ego, I’ve been to Notre Dame and Westminster Abbey and while Christ Church doesn’t compare in size, it’s right up there in the beauty stakes. Walking into beautiful cathedrals always takes my breathe away, this was no exception. And as I do at every church, I lit a candle for Brett, my Grandad and my Nonno…

Feeling holier-than-thou, I mistakenly trusted Google maps to make my way to the castle. Have a feeling it might have been user error because I walked around in circles only to be back where I started with the castle magically appearing at my original location… anyhoo, walked into the castle grounds, decided I’d seen more epic castles and left. Yeah, I’m starting to be that tourist that says “I’ve seen better”… I hate myself too… With rain on the horizon I took shelter on the bus and did tourist from the bus window past the monument, Parliament House (White House look alike), the Royal Hospital, Goal and a few others but once the War Memorial Gardens came up I was off in a heartbeat, love me a garden, especially ones dedicated to the bravest people in the world. Ok Dublin, you’re growing on me… the gardens were peaceful and beautiful, the city certainly has its charm…

You can guess why I may have had to leave the gardens?? Yup, rain, rain of the windy pelting variety that gets up under your umbrella and in your face… I gave up trying to do tourist… pub time… back to Temple Bar cos I just couldn’t be bothered finding anywhere else, stumbled across an epic Irish pub called the Norseman… wait… in Ireland they’re just called pubs, not Irish pubs… the point being epic Irish singer doing covers, gin, chicken wings and most importantly, a roof over my head. Somehow I forgot about the history of the rain in Ireland and decided to walk back to my Air BNB again, could also have something to do with the giant size plate of chicken wings I polished off…

Being a city girl with a country heart.. if that makes sense.. the next day I’d booked in a day trip to the Cliffs of Moher and Galway, take in some country air… and boy did I get air… 70km/h winds in fact… after dutifully boarding the 60 seater bus, we were hostages to the witty repertoire of the tour guide, Noel. Some tidbits of useful information he imparted on us included the fact that apparently the people that live south of the city are rich, and those that live north of the city are better looking, can guess which area tour dude was from! And one that I can attest to, the Dublin LUAS, their tram network is the slowest in all of Europe, hells yes. And finally, a sad one, of the 330 distilleries in Ireland in the 1800s, there’s only 5 left, so sad when industry declines…

An hour in after Noel had seemingly run out of things to say, there was pit stop at a petrol station dedicated to Barack Obama, kid you not!! Apparently he stopped in the town during a trip to Ireland on account of having some long distant relative from there, and to honour him, they named a petrol station after him, uhhhh, sure, guess those jokes about the Irish being a bit backwards weren’t totally untrue…

Anyway, herded back onto the bus we were left to our own devices to snap away at pictures of the country side for 2 hours until we arrived at the Cliffs. Of course Noel has the guide book of facts to read from, apparently 80% of genetics of the Irish are similar to those in northern Spain, the Spanish language from their ancestors morphed into Gaelic. Coolies, even more interesting, the Irish used to fight naked in the early days, they painted their bodies blue and dyed their hair blonde. They don’t put that in the movies!!! Oh and the British called them barbarians cos their language sounded like sheep, bah bah bah…

The ride to the cliffs was so damn beautiful, somehow the grass in Ireland is the greenest I’ve ever seen in my life, or maybe it was just me…

Arriving at the Cliffs of Moher, Noel, advised it was a wee bit windy today… damn near blew me over, not even joking… gravel and water and wind in the face… but when you have these views, so so worth it…

What was not worth it was paying £8 for a nasty little quiche… that aside, bloody beautiful spot. Once we were back onto the bus, we waited, and waited and waited… then left, leaving two people behind… Was sure not to miss departure time after that, dude runs a tight ship… An hour later Nazi Noel was nice enough to release us from bus prison to stumble over some rocks on the beach, it was stunning but in all honesty I was so worried about being left behind I was back on the bus in record time, then onto Galway…

Heading to Galway and all I could bloody think of was that wretched Ed Sheeran song, get out of my head you annoying English ranger… oh, hangry Holly had reappeared so first stop after the ooo’s and ahhh’s at the prettiness of Galway was food, of course as soon as I saw bacon and cabbage on the menu the decision was made, did not expect it but by god it was AMAZING!!!! Mouth watering just thinking of it…

Belly full I turned tourist mode back on and legged it around Galway, seeing as much as I could while leaving enough time to get back to the bus so Nazi Noel wouldn’t leave without me…

Back on the bus with 10 minutes to spare, and we were back to Dublin and time for Noel who had turned nice again to tell us some final facts about Ireland. The stuff I can remember, backed by Google, the green on the flag represents the Roman Catholics, the orange the Protestants and white represents neutrality, nice! So Ireland was conquered by the Vikings from Norway, Sweden and Denmark, they built the majority of the countries cities, including Dublin which they called Dubh Linn, meaning black pool of water. Some Irish dude later kicked their arses out. And finally, the story that pulled on my heart strings, the history of the Irish famine, called The Great Hunger. In the late 1840’s disease struck their potato crops, depriving people of their main source of food. Over one million people died, another million emigrated to greener pastures, hence why so many Irish around the world. Ireland’s population reduced by nearly 25%. And here’s where I get pissed off, the Protestant church who had access to food for people would only give it to those starving if they promised to change religions. WTF?? That’s so very kind of you. Grrr. And even better, Queen Victoria, a Protestant, only gave the country £3,000 pounds to help, she had no objections to the famine killing off the mainly Catholic population. AH.

Reflecting on the tour, to be honest, it was a hell of a lot of hours on a bus compared to the hours with actual feet on the ground… would I do it if I had my time again?? Eh, hindsight no, and when you hear about our epic adventure in Belfast you’ll know why… Back in Dublin I once again opted to walk back to the Air BNB and in all honesty, saw more awesome Dublin than I did in the day tour… walking around a city is definitely the best way to see it, and work off a belly of bacon…

And back to my Air BNB broom closet for the last night, and must say, it was looking damn pretty from the outside!!

For my last day in Dublin, I had ambitious plans of being at the Little Museum of Dublin for the one and only free tour at 9am then going to the Dublin Castle, the Viking museum and Merrion Square before legging it for the train to Belfast… needless to say lazy arse Holly mode kicked in and I only made it to Merrion Square to hang with Oscar Wilde before I was off to meet the gorgeous Kylie in Belfast… my favorite Oscar Wilde quote, “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance”, not an egomaniac, to me it’s all about self belief!

In the end, Dublin defs grew on me, not in the same way Glasgow did but it had its charm, probs wouldn’t go back but glad to have gone… Geez that was a boring post, my heart just wasn’t in it at Dublin, sorry!!!

September 12, 2019 0

Corfuuu, not Corfew…

Thursday 22nd August – Monday 26th August 2019

Corfu baby!! And it’s pronounced Cor-fu, not Cor-few like us Aussie bogans like to call it. Have to admit, I did nothing to help book or plan this trip, the fate of my first Greek adventure is in the hands of Kyles and the Geordie…

Thursday morning was spent living the jobless life which is pretty darn good so far… coffee, shower, coffee, apply for jobs, coffee, apply for house sits, coffee, pack, coffee…

With the Geordie driving us to Gatwick and Kyles somehow doing work on her laptop in the back, it was up to me to try convince him that Gang of Youths is THE best band in the world right now. Followed closely by Ocean Alley. For a dude who’s musical preferences are Elvis and Sinatra, I had a battle on my hands!!

Finally at Gatwick waaay early cos the peeps I’m with are super organised, I continued to be a sheep and just follow. Is it then my fault that we ended up in a tapas bar drinking wine and eating hommus while our flight was delayed?? Possibly. After putting up with some ignorant loud twats in the bar, it was Corfuuuuu here we come. Unfortunately it was an easyJet flight who are the Tiger Airlines of Australia. Flights ALWAYS late, charge you just to breathe the air on the plane… but who needs air when there’s wine?!?! How do a Geordie, blonde and funny Sheila entertain themselves on a flight???

A touchdown, customs in the worlds smallest airport and a taxi ride later and woo hoo, we’re in Corfu!! Already “happy” from an eventful flight it was a case of drop the bags, get pretty and head out to hunt down a DJ Kyles had heard about. Didn’t find the DJ but did find an epic waterside bar with a dance floor. Kyles being the friendly one of the bunch, she made friends with the locals. Unfortunately they couldn’t understand a word coming out of the Geordie’s mouth!!

We may have lost track of time and returned to the hotel around 2am (give or take a few hours, ok give…) to find it locked and wine consumption hindering our ability to work out how the hell to get in. After some bickering and tense words, the doorman on duty let us in. The rest of what happened that night is definitely a case of what happens on tour stays on tour. Ask no questions I tell no lies…

How to describe Friday… sunshine, beautiful city, delicious food, great company… or I could be honest… hangover, 36 degree heat, sweat, grumpy Holly and three people hardly talking because we overslept and missed the ferry to Albania. I should have been more empathetic to Kyles, going to Albania was the main reason we made the trip to Corfu, she was beyond disappointed. Unfortunately I was a shit friend that instead stuffed my face full of pancakes and bacon and could hardly string a sentence together on account of the banging in my head. NEVER DRINKING WINE AGAIN!!! There was a reason I switched to gin. The bacon kinda helped, as it always does. So did eating half of Kylie’s…

Putting on a brave face and trying not to waste a beautiful day in Corfu before heading to Sidari, we wandered the old town, took in the bloody beautiful sites and I avoided any photo evidence of my hangover… note the lack of my ever present selfies…

With Kyles disappointed, the Geordie thirsty and me, well, being a grumpy pain in the arse if I’m honest, we decided the best bet was to jump on the bus to Sidari, drop our stuff in the room then wash off the hangover in the sparkling ocean. For a day where nothing went to plan, of course Google maps doesn’t like Corfu and the ten minute walk to the bus station turned into an hour trek through Corfu’s cobbled hilly streets in 36 degree heat dragging a suitcase. I tried to put on a brave face, as soon as we hit the bus station I shoved ice cream and cold coke into my dehydrated hungover body then face planted on the table for a nap, leaving Kyles to ponder for the next two hours whether she still wanted to be my friend. The Geordie found a different bus stop, the one with a pub of course!! So apparently the bus ride to Sidari is gorgeous, wouldn’t know, said face planting on the bus station table transitioned to face planting on the bus window. I’d stay stop rolling your eyes Mum but have a feeling there is plenty more of that to come…

Arriving in Sidari, it looked like old school Greece. Pink houses, olive trees, hills and concrete gardens. Wogs love their concrete. Being a sheep and following my Shepard’s to the accommodation, I have to admit I was dubious, as much as a thumping headache would allow anyway. The slightly unkept road was sparse, with a few massive double story Greek houses with pools. Apparently that’s how they roll in Sidari. Rocking up at Maria’s, the Geordie’s name was written on a piece of paper and stuck to an open apartment door, guess that one’s ours??? I think there was some sort of check in process, wouldn’t know, I found a bed and an air conditioner and was out for the count. I woke at 8pm to the snores of a Geordie, Kyles on the other hand hadn’t wasted the day, she’d found the beaches, town centre and watched the sunset, found the beach bars and indulged in a cocktail or two. Grumpy Holly turned into disappointed Holly for wasting the short time we had in Greece. But we got our shit together and Kyles took us to an epic beach bar over looking the ocean, suave tunes and a Greek waiter that was confused about it currently being winter in Australia. A gin cocktail and Gyros later and happy Holly had returned, tail between her legs for being a grumpy hangover arse. On our journey back to Maria’s, the sound of the Zorba drew us into a local where a Greek god was dancing, needless to say we convinced the Geordie to stay and watch… yeah, dude from 50 Shades of Grey but hotter and with a Greek accent… no words…

Starting the next day with a clear head and a need to redeem the grump from the previous day, I joined Kyles by the pool for the first of many cocktail and chill sessions. The Geordie earnt brownie points by getting me ice cream for breakfast. Ok, we’ll keep him. Wish I could say the rest of the day was filled with culture, adventure and embracing Greek tradition. The most culture I got was a second serving of gyros and Mythos beer… but when you have this setting, what else is there to do except cocktail and chill?? BTW, it’s pronounced yee-ros, kinda like we say it in RADelaide, not guy-rows like a certain Aussie bogan ordered it!!

Cocktail and chill is all good unless you’re Kylie who has ants in her pants and within 5 minutes of me tucking into my meaty goodness had booked us in for an afternoon of parasailing… sure, why the hell not!!! Parasailing has to be one of my all time favourite things in the world to do. Being launched into the sky to breeze over beautiful scenery with a dip in the ocean. Could have stayed up there forever had it not been for the harness causing an epic wedgie! Kyles who was strapped on behind me had one worse, and had to guide us into landing as well, of course she did it like a pro!! Wish I could have taken pics of the sights up there, can’t stop smiling just thinking of it. The Geordie stayed grounded and was designated photographer, scared of heights maybe??? May have found a weakness…

On a high from well, literally being high, we sunbaked for 0.5 seconds and then were off again, cocktails in hand and onto this masterpiece of fun!!! A paddle boat WITH a slippery dip, I never knew such magnificence existed!!! The dude wasn’t bad either…

A little worried Kylie might want to try paddle to Albania, I took the wheel (it was a stick) and steered us around the coast, past the buoy for Crazy Shark and out into the beautiful Adriatic Sea (may have had to google that!). Somehow warm water negates my fear of sharks cos we hurled down the slippery dip and into way too deep to touch water for hours without a care in the world. Or maybe it was the cocktails?? Either way it was so much bloody fun, think maybe I should start a business adventure and bring paddle slides to RADelaide!!

We may have been a little overambitious with our paddling out and around the coast, forgetting we had to paddle back. Needless to say we did make it to shore cos I’m here to tell the tale!! With Saturday already being 200% better than the hangover the day before, we indulged the Geordie and headed to the local watering hole where all the Brits in Sidari had assembled to watch England take on Ireland in the football, or soccer, or maybe it was rugby??? The dudes had squished faces so must have been rugby… in any case, the Geordie proceeded to make friends with the poms in the pub and before we knew it, Paul and Gail from Wales were coming on our sunset walk, wait a minute, they’re Welsh, I’m confused… long story short, England annihilated Ireland (apparently), was kinda nice to be barracking for the same team as the Geordie for a change cos heaven knows he has bad taste in soccer and cricket. So two aussies, two Welshmen and a Geordie set off on a walk… sounds like the start of a joke… the joke is that the secret sunset viewing location that Kyles led us to was quite literally on the deck of our Welsh friends hotel, yeah, they were kinda loaded… while they headed to the bar, we took in one of the most beautiful sites I’ve had the chance to behold, sunset over the cliffs in Corfu… no words…

After staring into the sunset and getting a little emo in our thoughts, we joined our new friends on the deck of their hotel, about 10 steps away. This Geordie knows how to pick his friends, our two new friends were on all inclusive packages at their hotel and proceeded to bring us all beer after beer after beer after beer… all free. I decided to like beer.

After chatting away with our new mates and over staying our welcome we wandered back to Maria’s which paled in comparison to the sunset deck hotel but who cares, it’s about the company right?? Not five star resorts right??? On our trek back Kyles desire for squid side tracked us, not that we argued, eating, drinking and sun baking seems to be what Sidari is all about! I tried to be traditional and ordered moussaka, I would have taken a pic but as normal my hunger got the better of me, annihilated it in record time… slippery dips and paddling works up a hell of an appetite… I’ll just keep telling myself that… Back at the apartment there was somehow space for chocolate and one more drink, as there always is… sitting on our balcony overlooking the pool, we were the ignorant loud twats, taking it in turns to play our favorite tunes. Kyles played techno dance music from Tomorrowland, Nora player Elvis, AC/DC, Sinatra and I was on it with Aussie rock gods, Amy Shark, Gang of Youths and Silverchair, could you get more different musical tastes???? How are we even friends??

With Sunday funday being our last whole day in Sidari, Kyles and I left the Geordie asleep and made our best efforts to do something cultured, drinking and sun baking didn’t quite feel like the authentic Greece experience. Still being earlyish, we stopped by the tour center to see if there was anything we could do that day. No tours available. We considered getting a taxi to the monastery but it was 70 euro, that’s $140 Aussie one way, fark. Went to the car and scooter hire place, can’t hire a car or a scooter without an international drivers license, FFS!! There was literally NOTHING to do besides eat, drink and sunbake… when life gives you lemons, make a gin and tonic… and that’s what we did!!! Gyros, cocktails and sun baking.

Needless to say Kylie was bored after two minutes so went shopping and returned with a unicorn, flamingo and donut, of the floaty variety!!! Yeah, floating in the ocean on a donut with a cocktail, doesn’t get much more perfect. Kyles obvs has the unicorn and why the Geordie ended up with the flamingo made us question more than his aversion to heights. To his credit, or possibly his drunkedness, we managed to convince him to join us for more paddle slide action, this time with our unicorn, flamingo and donut in tow. Somehow I managed the luxury of dangling my feet in the water while the other two paddled their arses off to get us out to sea, and possibly halfway to Albania?!? More slippery dip action, Nora for some reason wouldn’t partake, no idea why. Geez that was fun, there really is nothing like swimming in the ocean. With a slippery dip. And a cocktail. And a donut. And music. And besties!!

With the Geordie desperate to watch his team lose at the soccer, (he keeps calling it football, doesn’t he know what real football is????) we headed back to shore. Somewhere in the afternoon, I had a nap on the deck chair, Kyles hired a kayak and the Geordie went to watch the soccer. All fun but I was napping so can’t comment on whether they had fun?!?! This really is a bit of a one sided story… after more floating and more cocktails and more food, we wrapped ourselves in our floaties and walked back to the hotel to ready ourselves for dinner, cos we needed more food and drinks right?? With the Geordie still preoccupied with soccer, Kyles and I found a candlelit beach side restaurant for our romantic dinner. Half way into our dinner of ribs, chicken and seafood, the Geordie made an appearance. Not sure whether it was him being clumsy or payback for my grumpy behaviour Friday but I ended up wearing a frozen cocktail in my lap and down my front. Knowing the Geordie, just clumsy!!! In all honesty though, I was beat. With sticky clothes and feet I headed back to the room to sleep and the other two headed off to meet our Welsh friends for karaoke. Anyone that has heard me sing knows I made the right choice. They had an awesome night, as did I, sometimes sleep is the best medicine, or I’m just getting old… feel free not to comment on that one!!

Somehow even with 5 times the amount of sleep than the other two, I woke Sunday feel like crapola, maybe just knowing our holiday in Sidari was over, no wait… I’m permanently on holiday, no reason for feeling like crap, go back to that old age excuse?? Anyways, we got our shit together and onto the 7am bus back to Corfu, this time I kept my eyes open as the bus wound through too tiny streets and across an absolutely beautiful countryside that seemed to epitomise Greek countryside once again, pink houses, tractors, trees, rolling hills, and men sitting in their shorts drinking coffee outside cafes. Can’t believe I was a mattress head and missed it the first time!

Jumping off the bus in Corfu, we knew better than to try rely on Google maps to get us to the airport so instead gave it an easy job, find us food!! Pretty sure it was Kylie not Google that found us a little cafe run by the most charming gentleman, he seemed to take a liking to me, took me inside the cafe to show me the eggs his chickens laid and somehow I managed to order us breakfast. No menu, he was just bringing us breakfast!! Eggs, sausage, cheese, ham, smooshed beans, crusty bread, tomato, cucumber and dead horse, Kyles had to explain that one to the Geordie!! The traditional Greek coffee was strong as hell with what seemed like mud, yummy mud, at the bottom. Pretty sure that coffee got me through the next 3 days!! Heading off, awesome Greek cafe dude pointed us in the direction of the taxi rank, and offered to drive us if we couldn’t find one. He also gave me a massive hug which was sweet. Maybe they don’t get many blondes in Corfu??

We did manage to jump in a cab and finally get back to the worst airport in the world – ok, probs not the worst but certainly tiny and full of lines. A line to get into the airport (like through the front door), 45 minute line for bag drop, line through security, line through passport control, line for the loo, line for boarding, line to get onto the bus to the plane, line to get onto the plane… doesn’t help I have a talent to pick the slowest line. Finally on the plane, all seated separately cos it’s easyJet, the family between Nora and I were nice enough to swap seats so we could sit together. Lucky me, got to fulfill my life long ambition of being a pillow…but an asleep Geordie is the best kind!!

Back to Brixton at last and we were well and truly pooped, the Geordie had a 5 hour drive back to Newcastle, Kyles had to get ready for work the next day and me, I had a day of adulting planned!!

September 4, 2019 0

Holly vs the world

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