hollyabroad

K, bye! 2.0

So it’s taken me over a month to post this, meant saying goodbye to one of the best trips of my life and my bestie… but here it is, written some time ago…

You know the saying, all good things must come an end! And damn have I been on a good thing!!

Wanting to savour hanging with my bestie until the very last moment, I rose before the sunrise to cook brekkie for Kyles before she headed to work. In hindsight, my cooking is not the nicest farewell present, she smiled and ate it anyway. I’m not great at good byes, I tend to talk gibberish about inconsequential bullshit, avoid eye contact and then get it over with as quick as possible. Saying goodbye to Kylie and not knowing when we’d be in the same breathing space again was too hard. So I did all the awkward things to avoid crying like a sooky la la and hugged her like million bucks she is. Kyles is smart, she knew to rip it off like a band aid and headed to work before the water works started. Some people are worth tears and she’s one of them.

After a good blubber, my pile of crap upstairs awaited and it wasn’t going to pack itself. I’m not proud to say the only things I didn’t wear was my exercise gear and sneakers. That’s probs obvious from my bloated gin belly and jeans that seem to have shrunk since I arrived. Somehow, I seem to have accumulated nearly two suitcases worth of gear, surprising since I only hit up H&M once. The final weight, 29.9kg, a .1 to spare. Mind you, pretty sure my back pack was about 20kg, plus a 10kg handbag. You’d think at this point, after all the money I spent on gin and crap food, I would have thought it worthwhile to spring for a taxi to the airport. Yeah nah, thought I was Wonder Woman and could lugg it all onto the tube, what’s the worse that can happen??

Hauling a suitcase, backpack and handbag onto a bus to Brixton Station was a bit of effort. Squishing onto the first tube to Greenpark, kinda awkward. Getting off the tube at Greenpark to find I had to get all my crap down three flights of stairs on account of a broken lift? For f*!k sake. There was sweat, grunting and expletives abound. I’m sure it was entertaining for the passerbys. If I didn’t have an extremely delicious bottle of Sloe gin in my case it might have been left at the bottom of the second flight of stairs. Or it would have at least gotten a swift kick to the bottom with a good luck and hope for the best. But anyways. I made it. My suitcase made it. My temper not so much.

Luckily once I was finally on the tube to Heathrow, a young girl with a normal sized case who had witnessed my staircase adventures stopped me from getting off at the wrong stop. If I didn’t stink from my recent exertions I would have hugged her.

Finally off the tube and in the Heathrow vicinity, the frickin long walk from the tube to Terminal 3 meant all that time i had put aside for duty free shopping was quickly slipping away.

Once at check in, if it wasn’t for my morning exertions that had resulted in a hell of a bad mood, I probs wouldn’t have bothered fighting for the window seat I’d booked. Bad mood Holly is a stubborn b**ch. After a call or two the lovely Emirates lady reallocated me to a window seat so I could get some zzzz’s. Wonder whether the crazed look on my face and sweat dripping down my forehead also had something to do with it. Subjecting other passengers to that wouldn’t be fair…

With a window seat secured to Dubai but no seat allocation for the 12 hours stint to Adelaide, I thought the battles were over but when my seat allocation came through for an aisle to Adelaide I was on a bloody mission and gave up duty fee gin just so I could curl up against a window and get some shut eye on the way home. After an hour of running around the airport and finally finding someone who could have helped, I had to give in and subject my neck to a world of torture napping in an aisle seat.

With morning dramas done and dusted, I shoveled a healthyish salad from Cafe Nero cos hell knows when I’d get anything with any nutritional value in the next 30 hours. Only one quick buy at duty free and onto the first 7 hour leg.

After my awkwardness at the goodbyes this morning, I was thankful to have 5 minutes to message my bestie and say all the things I suck at saying in person.

Somehow the stars then aligned and I had the row to myself. Maybe all that staircase drama that resulted in my bad mood was worth it, it did result in a stubborn Holly that got a window seat and whole row… or the people that were meant to sit there saw and smelt me and requested a move…

Having decided this was the leg to get some sleep, pills were popped and I waited. Think I’m sleeping pill resistant. Bugger.

Landing in Dubai at 12.50am, next flight boarding at 1.40am it was tighter than I would have liked but it’s just a change of gate right?!? Nah uh. No idea what the hell is going on at Dubai airport but for some reason, we had to go through security once off the plane before we could get to the next gate. Then at the gate, another bag check where not even the over priced bottle of water i managed to buy in my run between gates was allowed on board. Still being stubborn as hell I skulled the whole bottle of water rather than throw it out, for the price I paid, I was convinced it was the tears of unicorns.

Settled into my aisle seat and ready to consume unlimited coffee to stay awake rather than risk the neck ache of the century from sleeping upright, a smiling Emirates angel came over to ask a favour. Would I mind switching with a minor so she could get all the younguns in one row. Oh, and I’d have to switch a window seat. I literally moved at the speed of lightning. It wasn’t until I was settled in and the couple next to me were all cuddly and cozy that the bottle of water I skulled hit. Sometimes my stubbornness doesn’t pay off.

Having curled up against the window and had a decent sleep, being on Australian soil again felt good. Also not having pneumonia and being taken to hospital like last time was a welcome relief. Managing to snag some gin in duty free and head through customs, awaiting me on the other side were the smiling faces of my Mum and Dad. Always the two that will go out of their way for their little girl. Damn I’m lucky. Getting home and finding my mum had stocked my fridge with bacon, eggs and avo elevated my appreciation of the best parents in the world. While there are a million adventures to be had overseas, no other place in the world will ever be home. Home is with the people I love the most. What a sooky la la…

Anyway… most normal people when they get home just shower and bed. I’m one of those psychopaths that HAS to unpack. Yeah, I’m a special kind of weird. Or maybe I just didn’t want one of the best trips of my life to ever end and to have to return to reality. Probs the later.

But I guess the adventure is never really over. There’s still a whole big world out there to explore, who knows when I’ll embark on the next or who with but one things for sure, the travel bug is lit and when $$ and time next permits, I’ll be off!

Tuesday 22nd January 2019.

February 25, 2019 0

Bath Spa Pool

So I have a confession… I woke up about 7am, saw Kyles awake doing stuff on her phone and instead of being a good friend and getting up to start the day, I rolled over and went back to sleep. Sleep has a way of trumping EVERYTHING. Must stop saying trump, hate thinking of that orange faced misogynist…

So after deciding to love my friend more than sleep, we were up and at it, doing all the things someone my age needs to look even half decent in the morning then out of our Airbnb with half hour to spare. After our chocolate indulgence the night before, brekkie was far from our minds so we headed for the other thing Bath is famous for, that massive curved building thing, should google the actual name… A little stroll and there it is. Bloody brilliant. Can imagine it’d cost a mint to live there and dealing with pesky tourists like us would be a pain but still, when I win the lotto, have solved world hunger and bought Canava Hall in Brixton, I’ll be buying one of these. Pictures just don’t even show how magnificent these buildings are. And words can’t describe. Cue “tourist” and all the pics and selfies… loser.

After having annoyed the residents long enough and Kyles having followed me on a wild goose chase up a hill, we found the Botanic Gardens. Of course, cute, quaint and beautiful. Much like everything in Bath. Except the groupies.

After a coffee revival, we called/booked/apped an Uber. We don’t call anyone anymore, so what is it really?? Anyhoo, we headed for the nearest entry point for the Bath Skyline walk, what is meant to be an epic loop of castles and beautiful lookouts over the city of Bath. If we could give an Uber 7 stars, this dude would have gotten them! Talked about how 30 or so years ago all the buildings in Bath used to be black, covered in soot from the coal smoke coming out of the beautiful chimneys I love so much. Some bright spark mandated that all heating be changed to gas and all the buildings cleaned and restored back to their pristine white sandstone beauty. Smart person, not sure Bath would be the tourist attraction it is with black sooty buildings. Now it’s one of the most beautiful cities I’ve ever been to. Jumping out of our super duper Uber, his seven star rating dropped to a one. The walk up to the Skyline loop was a muddy staircase from hell. Did the dude not see the shoes we were wearing?? Inappropriate footwear at its finest.

After sliding and yelping our way to the top, with all our belongings strapped to our backs nonetheless, the views were something to behold. Just wish my lame arse iPhone could take a decent picture. The view over Bath and the hills, stunning. Will go back to that memory when I need a happy moment.

Looking at the Skyline path ahead, we conceded defeat knowing our girlie boots were in no way up for the task. Heading in the general direction of the town, it was one of the most beautiful strolls down a hill you could ask for… look, a beautiful house and stream… Look again, another cute house and laneway. And chimneys!! Bath is gorgeous. Sorry for paying out your name. And sorry to Kylie for the trillion “tourist” stops.

Making our way to a bridge with no name, or one I can’t remember, it was again just another moment of wow. You wonder if people that live here ever get sick of all this beauty??

Finally listening to our (mine) moaning tummies we headed for a lunch spot. On the walk, had my boots not been muddy as hell and I looked like an orphan annie, we would have casually popped into the house opens on the way. And I may have mortgaged everything I own to buy one. Too bad I don’t own anywhere near enough…

After nearly a month traveling and drinking and eating all the things, I decided today was the day I’d get back on keto and try eat healthy. Damn my unreasonable thinking. While digging into a healthy omelette, Kyles had the most delicious Hungarian beef stew with dumplings. Didn’t even wanna take a food pic I was so consumed by food envy!! So having booked a 4.30pm train back to London, we tried to plan our visit to the Thermae Pool & Spa perfectly so we could just shower after then jump on the train home. Well, the lineup wasn’t the problem, more so the digital vouchers we’d booked and paid for had to be printed by and picked up at the Bath Tourist Info centre, which was closed on Sundays, I can imagine a Sunday would be the quietest day for tourists?!? And doesn’t all that kinda defeat the purpose of a digital ticket?!?!? After a somewhat standoffish debate, it was pay again or go home! You don’t come all the way to Bath to not jump in a thermal bath. So in we went, changed into our robes and flip flops (know better than calling them thongs!), and finally into the thermal pools. Have to say, after so many weeks of travel and what felt like a trillion steps, the warm water and spa jets were heaven sent. Throw in an epic view over Bath and the place is relaxation personified. Too bad we had to share with a hundred other people… weren’t allowed to take pics so once again Google has come through with the goods, just add those hundred people to each pic… can’t imagine the squishiness of this place in peak season…

With our two hour relaxation window coming to an end, it was time to leave the beautiful Thermae pool and head back to reality. Somehow arriving at the train station early, usually it’s minutes to spare, we had time for a sneaky gin and to find a snacky dinner for our train ride. Waiting on the platform for the train, my lame arse sense of humour kicked in at the name of the train station… Bath Spa? Someone really lacked imagination when it came to naming things at this place!!

Once on the train, my lame arse salad was no competition for Kylie’s almond croissant and the leftover chocolate. Nearly caved but in my sleepy relaxation I couldn’t even be bothered eating chocolate. That has NEVER happened to me in my entire life… need a thermal pool at home… A train, two tubes and a bus later, we’re back in Brixton and another reality set in. It was my last night with my bestie and the last night galavanting around the UK. Uhhh, I don’t wanna, they can’t make me leave can they??

Sunday 20th January 2019.

February 2, 2019 0

Give me my name back

Bath… I wonder what you were called before the Romans actually built the baths? Must have been lame if Bath was a better option…

Well after such illuminating thoughts, Kyles had to be a trooper and hunt down a pharmacy for me. I think my traveling tolerance is 3.5 weeks before I come down with a cold and feel shite… or it could have something to do with all the gin and diet of see food and you eat it… yeah nah…

Speaking of food, to go with the concoction of vitamins and who knows what else the pharmacist gave me, a healthy hearty brekkie was in order. I tried to order something with spinach and all those healthy things but the stars aligned and they were out… so it was back to the good ol’ bacon, eggs and smashed avo… although major food envy when Kylie’s corn fritters and halloumi amazingness arrived!

The things about besties is that they put up with all your quirks and nuances… like my new obsession with chimneys… and me yelling “tourist” every 5 steps, which means stop while I be a pain in the arse and take yet another picture! Thanks for putting up with me Kyles!!

So the thing about chimneys, I’m not even sure I can explain it, except to say it’s the thing missing from the Adelaide skyline, houses now in my mind look incomplete. I like how they are all lined up, yet each one is different and cute it its own way. Hmmm, what drugs did the pharmacist give me?!???

Doing what every person comes to Bath for, we hit up the Roman Baths acter brekkie. Being the off season, there was hardly a line up so we glided right on through… Not sure what I expected, knew we couldn’t swim in them but maybe I expected them to make me want to?? The architecture of course was stunning, Romans sure do know how to make a statement, maybe I expected more baths? But I guess the place is called Bath singular, not Baths… nevertheless, the history and majesty of it all was damn impressive. Oh and I also love moss, add that to my chimney lover weirdness…

Luckily for us dorks, we were the only ones that rocked up for the guided tour every hour on the hour so we had the lovely Beth* to ourselves. So obvs being a tour guide, Beth knew her stuff, and I wish I remembered some monumental historical facts she imparted on us. Instead I remember the weird and wonderful, like that you had to be hairless to use the baths so they would tweezer everyone…uh, I’m from an Italian family, I’ve seen an Italian man’s back, a million levels of pain to tweezer that rug. No wonder it was mainly women that went to the baths, even then, ouch… so in other useless facts I remember, when a sexist dude called Hadrian became emperor of Rome, he hated women’s bodies, and since every one went starkers at the baths, he mandated that men and women had to be segregated into different baths. Can’t imagine bathing with a room full of other naked people would be overly relaxing, but anyway… oh wait, she did say there was lots of wine and food, hmm, thinking this place should have been called orgy, I’ll put that in the suggestion box!

I can imagine back in the time, this place would have been something else to the local pommies! The Romans mastered underfloor heating, worshipped the god Minerva and believed these bubbling hot springs could cure diseases. Apparently they weren’t smart enough to figure out that if you put a heap of people with diseases in the same hot bath, maybe, just maybe those diseases might spread. Yeah, definitely don’t wanna swim in them anymore. Oh, and they are lined with lead. I’ll stick to my lame Aussie bath at home thanks, oh wait, I don’t have one… so the hilarious side of the baths, if there ever was one, are the curse cards. People would write curses and toss them into the baths, hoping the goddess would grant their wish for their worst enemies eye balls to pop out of their head, I kid you not. Those Romans were a vengeful lot.

Overall, a beautiful place that in its day, must have been bloody amazing! Oh, and that little bit of water they let you drink at the end, supposed to have super healing powers, taste like warm goblin piss. Ain’t that right madeye!

After a quick tourist stop to pick up some antiques…

…it was back to the room so Kyles could get online and prepped to buy tickets to Tomorrowland, a massive trance music festival in Brussels. I’m no where cool enough to attend. So the ticket process probs took a bit longer than planned but enough time for me to blog and catch up on what’s been happening across the pond. Tickets in hand and tears of joy, from Kylie cos she got tickets and me cos I was hungry and wanted dinner, we headed to a cool little joint around the corner called Stable, which caught our attention earlier in the day with this epic sign, love a good pun…

And oh my yum, a tasting thingo of cider, cheese fondue and a beef brisket pizza. At the time of ordering we hadn’t figured it was a pizza, just saw beef brisket and jumped in head first, as you do, but the pizza bit was a nice surprise, cos let’s be honest, carbs are delicious!!

Bellies full we wandered around the beautiful Bath and contemplated another pub crawl. Had there been a slither of space in our bellies, it might have happened but instead we made a quick pit stop then headed back to the room. No groupies tonight, just the best friends a girl could ask for called Cadbury and Lindt.

P.S. There’s ALWAYS space for chocolate!!

P.P.S. And here are the indulgent selfies, cos if there isn’t a selfie, were we ever really there???

Saturday 19th January 2019.

February 1, 2019 0

Bath crawl

Waking up to Kyles already having put in a couple of hours working from home, it was nice to wander downstairs, make a coffee and know there was nothing urgent to do. Except eat my crappy cheescake and the Tesco chocolate cake for breakfast. For a £2 choccie cake, that was damn good! Today’s plan was to get away for a weekend in Bath. Next to Finland and York, it was the other place on my I Wanna Go To list. Having booked a cute Airbnb some time back when we first conceived the idea, we just needed to get there. Easy as. Download an App, put in times, book, pay, digital tickets. If only everything in life was this easy!! With some time on my hands I did what was supposed to be a quick check of work emails, to date there hadn’t been anything overly urgent or worthy of my attention when I don’t have to. Jeebus. Some shit had hit the fan at work and I spent the next few hours plugging away to try get things in order.

Once I’d calmed down and switched off Australia, it was time to prepare for my last weekend of holidays. Ugh. Yuck. Why do holidays have to end?? But are they actually holidays if you never go back to work? Maybe then it’s just life??

Anyhoo, while I’m flapping around Kyles is ever the professional working her butt off taking work calls, Skype meetings and just getting shit done. Once packed with my weekend kit, I felt the sugar crash and was desperate for anything green. Legging it to Sainsburys around the corner I bought a big bunch of broccoli to add to our dodgy pre-made supermarket salads. Probs the first healthy meal I’ve had since Kylie’s awesome Christmas roast. Not rolling in cash but rolling in other ways!

With a 4.30pm train trip, it was relax time – completely speaking for myself. The dedicated Kyles worked the whole two hour ride while I got my votes in for the Triple J Hottest 100. I really do lack any pics today so my top 10 list will have to do!! #1 Ocean Alley.

Walking out of the train station in Bath and it’s everything I expected, and then some! The 15 minute trek to our Airbnb took us past all the beautiful white sandstone buildings, cobbled streets and the quaint English pubs on every second corner. Once again I was the dork walking along muttering wow! Having gone the cheap room route for our Airbnb, I half expected a broom size closet in a dodgy back alley. Walking into our room at Romany Guest House, one of the gorgeous terrace buildings it was a mixture of relief and wow. Big old style Victorian room, our own beds, lounge chairs, telly and kettle. I think Kyles is getting sick of my sleep talking so happy for her she has her own bed for a change!!

Having already spied the cute pubs on the way through, it was an easy choice to pub crawl our way through Bath. It is after all only 50 meters between each pub and a convenient half circle of pubs surrounding our accommodation.

Our crawl took us from the fancy Green Park Brasserie to the The Bath Brew House where we both had the quintessential English dinner, ham, egg and chips, washed down with a beer. Kind of made having the broccoli for lunch redundant!

Next stop at Trinity Inn saw us pick up some groupies, two young English chaps, not yet of legal drinking age in the US, wanting to tag along on our crawl. One called Joe and the other some J name, they were kinda funny, young Joe had googly eyes for Kylie all night and wanted to take her on a date to the zoo. Oh bless, dates to zoos just don’t happen anymore. After hitting up The Cork, The Canon and The Gin Palace with our groupies, it was time to exit stage left. I think Kyles broke young Joe’s heart!

Friday 18th January 2019.

January 23, 2019 0

Happy birthday!

Being her first birthday away from home, I was so glad to be there for my bestie. Moving to a different country, finding a new job and making new friends is a hell of a brave thing to do, she’s an absolute kick arse human being. So after good morning birthday hugs, unfortunately Kyles did have to go to work so I needed to find something to do to pass time until her birthday celebrations. Having been lucky enough to have visited London a few times before, I’d done all the big attractions like Buckingham Palace, Tower of London, Hyde Park etc so today I was looking for something different to do. Someone along the way mentioned going to Greenwich where lives the meridian line. Coolies, I’ll do that.

But first, boring life maintenance like washing and fun life maintenance like popping to Sainsbury’s for a birthday cake. My idea was to buy a cake and decorate it beautifully so we could celebrate tonight when we get home from dinner. Probs should have been better at adulting and found an actual bakery and bought a beautiful cake befitting of the birthday girl. Instead it was a packet cheesecake, biscuit fingers and some crappy icing writing pens. It’s the effort that counts right? Anyways, heading off to Greenwich about midday, onto a bus to Brixton Station then 10 tubes, most in the wrong direction so it took me about double the time to get there. Maybe I still need more sleep.

Finally in Greenwich with insane hunger pangs I found the Greenwich Markets and a Cuban sandwich. My gosh, how have I never had one of these before? Ready to be annoying and take another food photo, I pulled out my phone and crapola. That’s a new record, only 1.5 hours from 100% to flat. Lucky I have my trusty power pack… and no iPhone cable. Seriously sucking at adulting today. So instead of enjoying the beautiful clear blue skies, I spent the next hour searching shop to shop for an iPhone lightning cable. Would have been quicker if I could have googled where to go but that wasn’t an option. So finally all charged up, food and phone, ready to explore.

But first, back to that Cuban sandwich!! Flatbread, pulled pork, ham, cheddar cheese, pickles and mustard. Oh my yum!!! I see many of these in my future. And here’s a nice pic from google to show just what I mean:

Unfortunately being a Thursday the Greenwich markets were only half arsed, most stalls were empty and the few that were open were a bit average. But, the market area itself was quaint and cute so I could imagine on a bustling weekend they would be fabulous.

Not really having a plan for the day except to find the meridian, I wandered around Greenwich and quite literally stumbled onto everything. Turn a corner and whoa, there’s a big damn ship, the Cutty Sark, a British Clipper ship, fastest and one of the last built before steam shops took over (thanks Google!). There was a museum thing underneath but to be honest, I’m all museumed out.

And just behind the Cutty, the River Thames with views of Canary Wharf and over to the London city centre. I was considering visiting Canary Wharf but Kyles said it was like Wall St, suits and ties and not a lot of fun. Unless you’re rolling in cash. Definitely not rolling.

Where to next? I look to the right and there’s the Naval Academy. That’ll work. Gorgeous buildings and lawns, lucky sailors!

What’s that other big building in the background? I’ll mosey over there. It’s the National Maritime Museum. Can’t swing a cat without hitting a beautiful old building. Not that I’m complaining, it makes being a tourist super simple. And with a phone going flat every 2 seconds, it helps to not rely on Google Maps.

I really had no desire to do museums today so I just settled for a couple of pics of the outside then wandered next door to the Queen’s House. Hmmm. No exactly what I expected, I guess it is a house not a palace, kicks the arse of my house I guess.

And then I look behind me, just more gorgeous buildings and views of the city.

It might be possible I’m taking for granted how historic and beautiful London is. I’ll probs get back to Adelaide and be disappointed not to see a beautiful old church or historic monument on every corner. Or I’ll just be happy to stare at the beach?!?

So through the beautiful sandstone archway and I spy up the hill the observatory. Someone up there knows I’m lazy AF today and is making this real easy!!

Just a note, the blue skies and sunshine in the pics does not mean that it’s warm by any means! The leggings, scarf, shirt and blazer I’m wearing to try be a bit fancy for tonight’s birthday celebrations are proving beyond inadequate. Maybe legging it up the hill will warm me up.

Think I really needed to climb Kilimanjaro, or some other mountain in a warm climate to get any sense of warmth, still freezing and starting to think museums will be the go, at least they are warm! At the top of the hill, the views across London are spectacular, distracting me from the cold momentarily, but not enough to have a real smile in selfies, instead the fake gooby smile I do when I’m uncomfortable!!

London is bloody massive, makes Adelaide seem like a little country town. No wait, it is… Into the Observatory and I made a beeline for the meridian line. Can’t say standing with one foot in the eastern hemisphere and the other in the western is on my bucket list but feel like it kinda should have been. So, patiently waiting for my moment on the line, I realised that on my touristy adventures in Greenwich today I’d already crossed the line about 10 times, but being the super tourist and having a new addiction to selfies, I waited like a tool and got a few.

I tried to feign interest in the museums and listen to the audio guide but after 30 seconds I was done. Instead I found a warm room and thawed, planning my next move… Right, Uber to the Emirates Sky Line cable car thingo, scenic ride across the river then a couple of tubes to Camden for birthday dinner. You know what they say about best laid plans! Down the hill to the road and my super awesome phone no longer has an internet connection for Uber. If I’d backed up my phone again since leaving I would have been very tempted to just throw the piece of crap in the river. Instead, I found a Costa Coffee with free WiFi and in my freezing coldness ordered a large mocha. Got this – bigger than the spaghetti bowls I have at home, and tasted like a cross between cheap chocolate and mud.

Luckily their WiFi is booming. Had a choice, try again for an Uber to the Skyline thingo, do that then 2 tubes and an hour and a half to get to dinner, arriving in Camden for our 7.30 dinner date. Or just take the tube to Camden and drink gin while I wait for the others. Gin always wins.

In Camden, a quick zip into Tesco to stash a choccie cake in my bag, kinda thought Kyles would appreciate a birthday cake at dinner, and more than just me singing to her. No one needs to hear that. I then did the google thing cos my phone liked me again, trying to find a pre-dinner drinks destination to meet Kylie. Jazz Cafe, Amy Winehouse frequented, awesome I’ll head there. Walked into a band setting up, not open yet. Some other cool sounding African themed bar, massive place and only one other person in there. Hmmm, I think Google is sick of me and purposely sending me to crapola joints. Ugh. I found the birthday girl and instead we headed to our dinner location, they do gin, it’s warm and 100m from where we were standing.

Although an hour early to The Blues Kitchen, our table was ready and as were we for all the gin!! Cheers and happy birthday Kyles!!

We were only two drinks in when Kyles buds Mel and Pete arrived. Two awesome people, Mel was from Adelaide so it was nice to not have to concentrate so hard on what someone was saying, or be paid out for my Aussie bogan accent. The dinner was beyond delicious, beef brisket with burnt ends, and after a cocktail called a Zombie I was finally warm and content, and probs a little bit tipsy!!

Being in the presence of a birthday girl, the restaurant bought out a plate of deep fried Oreos to celebrate, trumped my pissy cake so that just stayed in the hand bag. They were so good there isn’t even any photo evidence, you don’t wait for pics when deep fried Oreos are a waiting!!

Being a school night, we headed home with full bellies and a nice gin buzz. My gin buzz turned into a different kind of buzz when I got to snuggle up to Jon Snow at the tube station… I’m lucky Kylie is still my friend, my dork level was at an all time high!!

Once back at Kyles, I was excited to get my masterpiece cake out for a final celebration, unfortunately I suck and the cake ended up looking like this:

Sorry Kyles, I tried but anything food related, except eating, is just not my forte!! So instead I did what I do best, ate cake.

Thursday January 17th 2019.

January 23, 2019 0

I’m sorry…

Some days you wake up and the body just says NO… yeah, one of those days! Luckily my pleading message to Kyles to come back at 10.30am instead of 9 to check out was heard. After once again doing life admin to get electricity connected I had the pleasure of going back to sleep!! Too bad my mind had other plans and woke me up half hour later to go explore Glasgow, no point wasting a day in bed, god knows we’ve already had plenty of recovery days… said my head, body still said no.

Being an unapologetic tourist, I had asked the lovely Scottish lass at the distillery what her fave things to do in Glasgow were and had a shortlist for today’s adventures. Given my morning laziness, first stop was a lunch time pie, pint and play at Oran Mor, a theatre in the West End. My lack of brain power meant I didn’t check times or schedules so I rocked up only to find that the pie/pint/okay thingo doesn’t start til Feb, oops. Place was gorgeous nonetheless and made a pretty decent cortado.

Back onto my lists from Trip Advisor and the whiskey lass, based on proximity, ie across the road, I headed to the Botanic Gardens. Correction, I started heading there where the skies opened up and I ducked into Matilda Cafe for another coffee while it passed. The sun shone through and it was back into it – I had a feeling that if I stopped too long at any one place today I’d probs fall asleep in my seat! So tired. No rest for the wicked.

Only a few short steps into the garden and I was mesmerised. Crisp green lawns, gorgeous Horse Chestnut trees (had to research that one!) and beautiful glasshouses shining in the sun. Had a little chuckle to myself that the glasshouses looked like President Snow’s from Hunger Games, and then added another point to my nerd tally. Wandering around I felt like I’d entered the garden of Eden, but hopefully without the wicked snake… I spent about 2 hours just walking the different paths and muttering away to myself about how beautiful it was. Stu the tour guide mentioned that Scotland has a roaming law where you have the right to pitch a tent anywhere and live, hmmmm, maybe a fancy tent with a bathroom and WiFi and I’d be set for life… really was that stunning.

My encounter with a squirrel was hilarious, the little dude was on the path in front of me so I stopped to take some pics and he just hoppity jumped over to me as squirrels do, and stood at my feet. Little dude was looking at me like he was planning something, I think squirrels are like cats, always planning world domination. Anyway, after a 5 minute stare down and threats of running up my leg, little dude got bored of me and wandered off. Yeah I’m with ya mate.

After wandering down hidden paths past pot smoking school kids and stumbling across gorgeous bridges, I wandered past a wooden bench and like in Notting Hill, it had a dedication. Was not ready for what it said! From playing with squirrels to a being big sook, never read something more true.

Ten steps later and I realised there was a whole row of benches with dedications to loved ones, so beautiful. I’d love for someone to remember me this way, a dedication on a bench overlooking the ocean…

Reading the dedications and being a sooky la la, I pulled myself together after a few weird looks from passerby’s and went for a wander outside the gardens, stumbling once again onto the most beautiful street of houses, it was a sign….

So damn beautiful. I could live here, go to uni at hogwarts, live beside the gardens (or in the gardens), hmmm…

Wandering back down Byres Road and I just casually looked down one of the side streets… and saw this – a gorgeous church surrounded by even more beautiful houses and tree lined streets.

Detouring through the area, I was once again the weirdo muttering WOW at every turn, so so beautiful. Hillhead is now my favourite suburb in the world. And the Hilton Hotel in Hillhead, stunning.

Back done Byres Rd, having missed my pie, I needed food in my belly. While I mostly only mention drool worthy meals, this Smoky Chorizo and Chicken soup pot from Pret gets an honourable mention!! So tasty and only £3. Wish cheap arse chain food was this good in AUS. Oh wait, it’s not so cheap once you convert…

With a PM flight to catch, I knew my wonderful trip in Glasgow was coming to an end. Having glimpsed the magnificence of George Square yesterday, it had to be my final destination. Popping out of the subway at Buchanan St, I stopped in my tracks. Seriously, where was this place hiding on Monday? Google Maps has a lot to answer for. As the main shopping strip, it’s lined by old stunning buildings and all the high end shops, I get what you were talking about Stu and I’m sorry for saying I preferred Edinburgh! The street is stunning, I’ve used that word too much but it’s the only word that encapsulates the show stopping beauty. Lucky for me I kept getting lost so traipsed up the street multiple times on my way to the next stop.

And wow. I think that must have been my hundredth wow for the day. George Square is full of more magnificent buildings and monuments, the dedication to soldiers who fell in the Great War was moving. Been an absolute blubberer today!!

Having had an epic adventure in Glasgow and before bidding adieu, I took a moment for a hot chocolate in Costa Coffee, coincidentally wearing my beanie from the Costa’s! I think I’m funny… Katie did too!

Before meeting up with Kyles for our flight, I had a moment to reflect on my time in Glasgow and realise that I had it all wrong. I’m sorry Glasgow, you’re not dodgy, you’re bloody beautiful. I’ll be back.

P.S. Can’t remember where I saw this but brilliant marketing by the British Army!! Spot on for millennials and women. Well played.

Wednesday 16th January 2019.

January 21, 2019 0

Knight in shining armour

Having already slept through one tour, I sure as hell wasn’t going to miss another. But after emailing real estate agents, stylists and property managers I was against the clock and was running between trains to make my 9am pick up at George Square in the centre of Glasgow. I did manage to take 5 seconds to make a mental note of how gorgeous the square was, on the list for tomorrow’s adventures.

Having only booked the tour with Rabbies the day before, a company I knew nothing of, I was a bit skeptical as to whether a) it was a legit tour and b) whether it would go all the places promised. Absolute relief when I ran around the corner to see a Rabbies mini van waiting. Inside, only two people, a German couple who spoke little English plus our tour guide Stuart who had a glorious Scottish accent, how the German couple understood a word out of his mouth I have no idea. Being an introvert I was kinda relieved that I wouldn’t have to make small talk with people I didn’t know, that I could just sit back and enjoy the tour. Probs why I don’t have many friends…

Stuart was funny as hell, pretty sure humour is part of the Scottish DNA. I did make the mistake of saying I preferred Edinburgh to Glasgow, never tell a weegie that, you’ll get left on the side of the road, nearly… oh a weegie, what people call the local Glaswegians… the dork in me just thought it was too close to wedgie and got into a giggle fit, they unfortunately are part of my families DNA.

On the way to Stirling Castle I learnt the most important Gaelic saying, “Slainte Mhath”, sounds like slanger va, the Gaelic language is stranger than Geordie… anyway, it means Cheers. Next to “where’s the toilets?”, the most useful thing to know in any language! Stu was full of other info about Glasgow, a nerd like me laps it up. Glasgow used to be the second biggest city in the UK after London, mainly due to tobacco imports and shipbuilding. It used to have over 40 shipyards and famous ships like the QEII, Queen Mary and the Britannia were built in Glasgow. But NOT the Titanic, built in Belfast, Ireland. And if you ask the Irish, they built it, an Englishman sunk it! So apparently Margaret Thatcher is the reason Glasgow declined from the 60’s, weegie’s say she hated Scotland so she closed all the manufacturing plants and purposely saw it fall into decline, how can someone possibly hate Scotland?!? But I guess they don’t call her the Iron Lady for nothing. Jump to now, only 4 shipbuilders are left in Glasgow. Kinda thought the invention of planes might have affected the shipbuilding industry but eh, what do I know.

So what else did the fabulous Stu have to tell about the half dodgy Glasgow? Apparently there’s amazing shopping, all the high end stores people travel from all over for. Too bad I’m broke… Two of the biggest “football” teams in the UK, the Celtics and the Rangers are from Glasgow. Too bad I don’t like soccer (love the real football!).

After an information overload, we did a quick stop for pics of Stirling Castle from afar before heading up the hill. Shameless selfie day. Thanks to the wind for making me look even more shite..

Being the off season in all of the UK, I was the first visitor into Stirling Castle that day. The German couple disappeared in the other direction?!? The free guided tour seemed like the go, and for the first 5 minutes I was the only person on the tour, knowledgeable Scottish guide all to myself to ask all the silly questions, awesome sauce! But the excitement was short lived, about 10 Americans then joined the tour. Ugh, year of not caring so will ask the silly questions anyway, if I can get a damn word in! Can’t remember the tour guides name so let’s call him Duncan, Dunc had the patience of a saint, I would have locked the Americans in the dungeon 10 minutes into the tour… Dunc was another awesome and funny Scottish dude, knew all the things about the Castle, but then I guess that is his job… quick run down on what I can remember about Stirling Castle, feel like I should use dot points but that would be waaay nerdy, here goes anyway: no one knows exactly when the castle was built but there are stories of it being THE Camelot from the King Arthur stories (coolies!!!!!); If you controlled the castle and the bridge across the river below, you controlled Scotland, being the first visitor, does that mean I controlled Scotland for a microsecond??? Hmm…; William Wallace (i.e. Braveheart) took the Castle momentarily during his reign/crusade/rebellion; the Bonnie Prince Charles (yep, from the Outlander series) tried to take the castle but was way too polite to the locals and agreed to not put his canons in the church and instead chose to bomb the castle from an open field right in front of the castle’s fort armed with a line of 8 cannons, yeah, that worked out well…; uh, lots of Kings called James owned the castle and added bits and pieces all over the place to try impress their queens; and finally, the castle was used by the British Army for ages and they totally stuffed it up, knocking down all the good bits and making it their own personal man cave; then the people who care about history stepped in and restored it to its previous glory. Noice. The thing I learnt about Scotland that was most intriguing, the unicorn is their national animal!! All the Royal symbols in the castle were adorned with unicorns, a symbol of purity and innocence. And according to the fake maiden in the castle, as rare as true love!! Pretty sure both are a myth. But in saying that, I did meet my knight in shining armour….

Back on the bus and we’re off to our lunch stop while winding past lochs and the most gorgeous Scottish countryside. Could have stopped every 5 seconds for a pic. The town of Stirling itself is picture perfect, all those beautiful cottages and quaint streets you see on Moving to the Country. Like the town of Stirling in Adelaide, it costs a pretty penny to live there. First place we actually stopped, Loch Venachar. I think we just call them lakes in Australia but a Loch is so much cooler… and this one, breathtaking. I’m in love with Scottish trees, Scottish water, Scottish grass (the stuff on the ground), love everything Scottish. Raw beauty.

Back on the bus (dance move of the day) and still heading to lunch, another little stop at Loch Achary… this place could not possibly get any more beautiful. I feel like maybe in another life I was a Scottish Highlander, just feel like this place is home. Like when I’m at the beach, I can exhale. And I LOVE Scottish cows, from a purely admirable perspective, although I did wonder how tasty the would be…

And yep, you guessed it, back on the bus with next stop the village of Aberfoyle. Hoping it’s nothing like the Aberfoyle Park in South Australia because let’s be honest, that place is a shit hole! Aberfoyle in Scotland is of course gorgeous. Dining by myself at Fairies, only a half dodgy pub, but the non dodgy chicken, bacon and leek pie was the little bit of chill I needed after a hectic run around morning. Even I, with a bottomless pit of a stomach couldn’t fit it all in…

Aaaaand we’re back on the bus, heading to the Trossachs National Park and Loch Lomond. As we head to the Loch, we pass through a town called Drymen, this time the name says it all. Back in the day (not sure exactly which day…) but the women of the town were so fed up with their men drinking all their wages they convinced the mayor to ban alcohol consumption and sales in the town. Ahhhh, yeah, I’m on the side of the men on this one… how they convinced the mayor, crazy… as Stu was telling the story we passed a pub, guess the dry thing didn’t last all that long…

As we enter into the Trossachs, considered the highlands in miniature, Stu picks the perfect moment to crank the Braveheart theme music and the speech with the most infamous line ever delivered by an Aussie, “tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take our freedom“. Well played Stu. Passing by Doune Castle, otherwise known as Castle Leoch from Outlander, Stu took a moment to clarify that he was in fact second in line to play Jamie, given how similar they look… yeah mate, and I look just like Scarlett Johansson…

Arriving at Loch Lomond, it was another wow moment. The rain was rolling in but it just added to the magic of the place. No wonder the Lochs have stories about monsters living in them, they seem other worldly. With the rain no longer just rolling but crashing down, Stu dropped us in the local town of Balmaha to either frequent the local cafe for a hot drink or be a massive dork of a tourist and trek around the Loch, can guess which one I chose… and lucky me I stumbled across a beautiful little farm house, right on the Loch. Maybe in a other life, or possibly this one, I could happily live in a little farm house, tend to my sheep, bake bread and have a hoard of Scottish rug rats… yeah, another life…

Back on be bus for the hundredth time and we’re bound for Glengoyne Distillery, can’t imagine anything better than Scottish whiskey to warm a cold and weary traveler. Stu took the time to chat more about Glasgow, apparently it’s the next Hollywood, with Brad Pitt filming the zombie flick World War Z there a few years back, and of course, Stu was once again up for the role! Dude sure does have tickets on himself but somehow rather than coming off as arrogant, the Scottish accent just makes it all rather charming!! And the final tidbit of info from Stu, about 30% of all Scottish people are red heads. Actually not surprised at all, I do recall sitting on the bus yesterday and musing at being surrounded by so many redheads I thought I might have interrupted a convention.

Arriving at Glengoyne, the place looked like it was destined for the front of a postcard. Gorgeous. I would have taken more time to appreciate it all but the whiskey was a waiting!

With a first tasting of a 12 year old whiskey, single malt (single cos its from one distillery and malt cos it’s made only from barley), it was then onto a tour. Interesting stuff about making spirit from the vapor of the germinated barley then distilling… for more detail, google it. Really don’t remember the process, just that the place smelt like cat food?!? Awesome tour though. Even more awesome, tasting the 18 year old whiskey at the end, smooth as. Forgot how much I enjoy a good whiskey. Still love my gin through and through but I reckon there might be a time and place for whiskey in the future. Wishing I had the funds to purchase a whole bottle of the 18 year old, I settled for a wee bottle, the equivalent of a single Holly pour, and then for the final time that day, back on the bus!!

Stu must have been milked of information, instead of the normal chit chat, it was his playlist of Coldplay, U2, then to my dismay, Ed Sheeran, that stuff hurts my ear drums.

Back in Glasgow, I took the subway and walked to meet Kyles in Ashton Lane for dinner. In the West End of Glasgow, I started to realise I had Glasgow all wrong!! Not only beautiful ornate buildings, but gorgeous shops and streets, beautifully lit and abuzz with funky bars and restaurants. Ahhh, so that’s where you’ve been hiding Glasgow!

After a yummo share platter at Ubiquitous Chip and a bottle of wine, we once again called it a night and Ubered back to the hotel… but neither of us were quite ready for the night to be over so convinced the dude on reception to get us some gin and Elderflower cheesecake from the closed kitchen and smiled sweetly at the bar man as we popped a bottle of red in our handbag and headed to our room.

Tuesday 15th January 2019.

January 21, 2019 0

Half dodgy

Another 5.30am wake up call for a 9am EasyJet flight to Glasgow, we definitely took for granted living 15 minutes from the airport in Adelaide. A flight out of Gatwick means a bus to Brixton Station, a tube to Victoria station then the half hour Gatwick Express which comes with the hefty price tag of £20, that’s about 40 bucks, must stop doing conversions…

What should have been a cruisey trip to the airport and a quick flight turned into a race against time to connect power at my apartment in Prospect by Wednesday so a photographer could take pics and the apartment could be on the market by the 17th… hmmm, I do like to make things hard for myself! So after calls to Simply Energy – needed a meter number – call SA Power Networks – can’t find the meter number – trawl through a million emails and with bum in seat on the plane finally submit an application for AGL to connect by the 16th, literally hitting submit as the plane is taxing down the runway, phew… nothing like trying to organise an apartment for sale from the other side of the world.

Finally in Glasgow, for me it’s into the city for a day of exploring with Kyles off to work to show them how it’s done. Having done zero research on what to do in Glasgow, besides search for Jamie from Outlander, thank god for the Trip Advisor top 10 list of things to do. Three days, surely I can get them all done??

Having decided to be a lazy arse and take the super tourist shortcut of using the Hop On Hop Off bus to see the sites, blonde Holly forgot that in an off season they probs don’t run too often. So after standing at a bus stop for too long, I finally read the schedule, oh, bus will be here in an hour… Decided to leg it to the Cathedral and Necropolis, 25 minutes, why not. With zero workouts since arriving, I needed to work off the ribs and wings anyway.

So here’s where the half dodgy perspective of Glasgow arose, all googles fault really. The google route took me through some questionable streets where things looked mighty dodgy and I wondered where the hell I had landed. From first floor up, beautiful old ornate buildings, but ground floor, dodgy looking shops with laminated hand written signs in the windows. Note how I’ve conveniently taken pics from first floor up..

Once I found the Cathedral and Necropolis I was jaw droppingly stunned (yes I know droppingly isn’t a word but it works). The Cathedral was gorgeous, as expected, but the Necropolis was like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Wow.

Like how I eat my dinner, saving the best for last, I explored the Cathedral first, and it was stunning. Like the Gothic architecture of Westminster Abbey but without all the gaudy gold everywhere. In its simplicity, I liked it better than the Abbey. And unlike the Abbey, photos were allowed so I got my photographer vibe on and pretended I knew what I was doing. Haven’t downloaded the SLR pics yet so just iPhone pics for now. Considering how crap an iPhone takes pictures, and how gorgeous the Cathedral looks in the pics I did take, you can imagine how stunning it was for reals…

So after being directed to some dodgy public toilets in a back alley car park, and surviving, I ventured into the Necropolis. I guess that’s a fancy word for a cemetery on a hill… or wait, Google says a Necropolis is “a cemetery, especially a large one belonging to an ancient city”. Coolies.

Wandering up the winding paths to the top, and having to back track a few times when I ended up back the bottom, I was in awe of just how gorgeous it was. And moving. I always find myself emo at a cemetery but this time reading tombstone dedications that dated back to the 1800’s and marveling at the sculptures that adorned the graves, I was emo in a good way. Love and loss is eternal. No one, no matter how rich or poor, is faced with the challenge. Of course, it makes a difference when you can afford to erect a 20 foot monument to the person you love, guess it makes it seem like they had more of an impact on the world. A madly emotional time and actually thankful I was by myself so I didn’t have to speak or try put into words how I was feeling. Was also glad the Necropolis wasn’t in Finland where the sun doesn’t rise, was getting creepy vampire vibes and I ain’t no Buffy… wish I was… lots and lots of shameless selfies, one of my fave places I’ve been to.

Also some gorgeous views across Glasgow that were quite in contrast – in one direction, what looked like the blue collar district with smoking chimneys then in the other direction, old Glasgow, with the Cathedral and beautiful old buildings adorning the skyline.

Once again I could have stayed for hours but although I was rugged up in thermals, scarves and a kick arse winter jacket, I was freeeeeezing. Standing in the rain, I found the nearest coffee shop and bolted. Crap coffee but good WiFi. Booked my tour for the next day and did life maintenance. Probs spent way too long there considering I only paid £1.80 for the coffee.

Working through my Trip Advisor list, next stop was the Glasgow Science Centre. Although shut, today I was more interested in seeing the architecture then being a nerd. Have nearly nerded myself out on this trip. Was all proud for getting the bus, then missed my bloody stop and had to walk in freezing wind back to the docks where the science centre sat. Uh, really?? My reaction. Couple of silver domes that were kinda rusty. Hindsight, my lack of interest was probs more to do with being freezing and hungry. I’m sure a happy tourist would have found them pretty cool…

I had planned to get over to the transport museum, another supposed architectural masterpiece, but walking across the bridge and feeling frost bite developing on my hands, I decided a far away dodgy pic would do… and one from Google so future me could kick myself for not visiting…

At this point, I really should have given in and caught an Uber to my next stop but I’m stubborn as hell and kinda broke… so once again freezing and walking through dodgyville I was pleasantly surprised to stumble on some pretty cool street art. Ok, so maybe Glasgow has some charm.

I believe in signs from the heavens above so when I saw a cafe lit up with fairy lights I knew it was my next stop, then when I saw the name of the place, I knew someone up there was having a laugh… What was no joke was how delicious the French onion soup was, look at this and feel your mouth water…

Finally at Trip Advisors #1 stop, Kelvinhall, Glasgow’s infamous museum. Having had my fill of museums, I instead stood and marveled at the gorgeous building until the sun peeked through and once again I was stunned by how gorgeous the setting was. Wow. In hindsight, should have checked if they had dinosaurs.

Nearing the end of my tether and losing feeling in my fingers, I headed to the University of Glasgow. Kicked myself when I got there. It was like stepping into a real Hogwarts, magical with the yellow glowing windows, gothic architecture and towers. Should have skipped the dodgy silver shells and headed here sooner. Looking like a tired student myself, I felt at home wandering around the uni and stumbling on a beautiful archway hall of fairy lights. More signs from above? Maybe I could find myself finishing my psych honours here??? Do love a Scottish accent and Glasgow is only half dodgy…

Somehow being colder than when I was in Finland foot deep in snow, I called it a day and headed to the Horseshoe Bar to wait for Kyles. Another Trip Advisor recommended place to visit, I kinda expected more… yeah it had a massively long horseshoe shaped bar but the place was kinda dodgy. I did at this point think that maybe it was me that was dodgy, or at least my mood was… one non dodgy thing to come out of the day, banoffee Digestives biscuits, yuuuuum…. defs didn’t do enough walking to burn them all off!

Monday 14th January 2019.

January 19, 2019 0

Recovery 3.0

It wasn’t a massive night by our standards, probs home around 2am but we still needed another day of recovery. With Kyles having her first week back at work and me running around London trying not to miss a thing, I think we’re both pooped!

So more Netflix, Deliveroo and couch time.

Finished watching the series You on Netflix. Addictive and disturbing. Dan Humphrey will never be the same again. And still can’t quite come to terms with the end, did not see that coming, had hope…

Luckily the ribs and wings from Chicago Rib Shack helped overcome the disappointment! Mmmm, may need to book two seats for the flight home…

With an impending flight to Glasgow in the AM, we did one useful thing today, shower and pack… oh, that’s two!

Sunday 13th January 2019.

January 17, 2019 0

Holly vs the world

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