While being in the Sahara is a dream come true, unfortunately we had to leave at some stage so why not do it under a blanket of stars!! The 5.30am BOTB meant brekkie and loading back onto the bus before the sun peaked out and while the stars were out in full force. Unfortunately my iPhone is only so good and doesn’t capture the grandure of stars so this is as good as it gets!!
Having been awake since 3am for no apparent reason, our long bus ride back to Marrakech was mostly snoozing and Netflix. So here’s a picture of my Berber omelette for lunch and I’m gonna skip right onto Marrakech!!
Back in Marrakech we were checked into the same hotel with a pool which I knew this time I wouldn’t miss out on. For the last time this tour, we were BOTB and again into the main square of Marrakech. This time I knew all about the evil cobras and managed to not even look their way!
Abdul showed us around the markets, talking passionately as he does however we were all pretty exhausted, tired from sitting on a bus doing nothing so when it was time for dinner we all followed Abdul to some place where not a single person ordered a tagine, we were most certainly all tagined out!! After dinner it was back to the hotel where it dawned on us that it was the last night as a group so of course we needed a last group pic and time to farewell all our new friends.
You’d of thought it would have been a big night but with early flights for some and the rest of us knackered, we all agreed a last day hanging by the pool would be the best kind of farewell. And, unfortunately at this stage I was as sick AF, the last few days had seen us, one after another, fall sick with some kind of Moroccan cold that creates enough snot to fill the Sahara. The next morning I wasn’t feeling much better so took it easy with a lay in, til 9 cos that’s late now, then enjoyed the buffet brekkie with the others around the pool. While Kyles and a few others who hadn’t caught the bug were energetic and headed back to the market for some shopping, I was more than happy to hang poolside, mop up my snot and enjoy some vitamin D. Ok so there were a few gins too…
Upon Kyles return I was more energetic, or ginned up enough to jump into the gorgeous pool, careful not to spread snot and germs. Never thought a swim with a cold could make you feel better but definitely going to try that in the future! With the afternoon coming to a close, those of us left, we’d been losing people to their home base as the day wore on, headed to the roof to watch our last sunset over Morocco. It was beautiful but at the same time bittersweet, some trips you don’t want to end and this was one of them! And who knew the roof at this place would have been an amazing place to party, ugh!
Kyles and I had decided to stay somewhere more central to the Médina of Marrakech so along with Aleesha, we bid our group farewell, hoping it wouldn’t be the last time we see those amazing people. Into a somewhat dubious taxi, we headed for our riad, since figuring out what one was and hearing we could stay there, we knew we had to. Aleesha dropped us off and headed to hers around the corner. And when I say dropped us off, we literally jumped out on a street corner that was supposedly the location of our riad and looked around in horror, had we been duped by booking.com? Does this riad actually exist??? To our relief, we found our riad door tucked away in an alley and once again entered into a space we did not expect. A beautiful and old but modern riad, complete with an open roof in the centre. Having booked one on the cheaper side due to a lack of cashola, this place was beyond expectation!!
Quick showers and we wandered out into the Médina of Marrakech looking for food, anything but a tagine. Being tired and indecisive we looked to the advice of a local who got chatting to us, and funnily enough within in 5 seconds flat was questioning us as to why we weren’t married!! He meant no insult, to Moroccans it’s confusing how you could be in your 30s and not married, for both men and women. Taking his advice we found a rooftop terrace with an epic view and yummers food, yes it may have been a tourist trap but who cares! The stork on a rooftop a stones throw away gave Kyles the heeby jeebys, she doesn’t like birds but luckily this one was as tired as us and hardly moved a muscle.
Needless to say I was ready for an early night on account of being a sicky and Kylie kindly obliged. The next day, our last in Morocco, we were greeted by one of the most impressive breakfasts, in that you sit at a table and within a jiffy it’s filled with all types of deliciousness, more than 2 people could possibly eat. Well, I could have eaten it all had I not been sick!!!
Having Aleesha staying around the corner we did a quick stop at what I think was a pharmacy for cold and flu tablets then met up to explore the market and finally do some shopping for more than bathes and gin. If you’ve travelled to south east Asia, like Bali, you know half the fun is the bartering. Although, I don’t find it fun but in this case, being sick and broke I was a hard arse and more than happy to walk away if they didn’t agree to my tightarse price, which worked surprisingly well!! Who knew not caring could actually work in your favour?!? A summer dress, salt n pepper set and door knocker later I was pretty damn impressed with my purchases. Having an epic Moroccan sandwich with chicken, liver, capsicum and who the hell knows what else was also amongst one of my better purchases. Wish I had a pic to show you just how good it was!!! In addition to shopping and stuffing our faces, our must do for the day was a hammam, a Turkish spa where they steam you, scrub you, massage you and leave you feeling amazing, apparently! We’d found one earlier amongst the crazy in the markets and made our way back for what was one hell of an experience. In our bathes we robed up and waited on comfy deck chairs with warm tea, not really knowing what to expect. Then it started, we showered then were into the hot steam room, from where one by one we were pulled out and scrubbed all over with horse hair mits (!?!) and lathered in some kind of muddy gel. I’d seen it around the markets, guess that’s what it’s for. Here’s a pic of it from our very first day!!
Lathered up we were then back in the steam room, which at first meant an avalanche of snot for me but then a clear head finally. Once again pulled out one by one, we were laid down and unexpectantly had cold water thrown over us to wash the muddy gel off. Yikes! Yes our skin felt amazing afterwards but wowsers that cold water was a shock!! It was then back into our robes and waiting on our deck chairs while there was the awkwardness as to whether we were supposed to tip the ladies that had just scrubbed off our gunk. The signs said not to so we didn’t, much to their dismay. Breaking the awkwardness, we were led up to the massage area for half hour massages that were bloody good. Yes there were certain areas like my chebs that hadn’t been massaged by another woman before but it was done in a professional way so all good. Unfortunately that’s where the hammam experience ended, we dressed and were once again back in the markets, with these smiles of absolute relaxation on our faces!!!
Unfortunately our time in Morocco was coming to an end, after farewelling the gorgeous Aleesha we made our way to the airport. During the whole time in Morocco, it was obvious they loved their King, there were pictures of him everywhere. It wasn’t until we were going through customs that it dawned on me who he looked like, Lewis Litt from Suits!! Knew the face looked familiar! What do you think??
It was while waiting for our flight I thought I’d better translate the packet of my cold and flu tablets just to be sure what I was taking. You can imagine my surprise to read to was taking anas. Yep, anas. Monkey anas I think. Along with some extract of liver and heart. No real help, all herbs and anus. In the bin they went.
It was certainly sad to leave Morocco, while I went in not knowing what to expect, it was better than anything I could have imagined and I left with memories and friendships I would cherish for a lifetime. As well as a cold that not even anas could help!
Today was the day I knew I’d be pinching myself a million times over, today we were going to the Sahara desert. The bloody Sahara!!!!! Never thought in this lifetime I’d be lucky enough to see the Sahara, something I’d heard of as a child but never thought I’d see for reals. Feel like I need to break into a chorus of thanks to all the people who have given me this wonderful life but they know who they are and hopefully I have thanked them enough! In case I haven’t, THANK YOU!!
Usually a BOTB call for 6.45am would fill me with dread but when you’re Sahara bound, pretty sure I bounced out of bed. Or just wasn’t as grumpy as I usually am!! Brekkie, packed and BOTB to a gorgeous sunrise that unfortunately doesn’t look as pretty out of the window of a bus!
Being desert bound, as expected the countryside got a little less green and a bit more, well, deserty but by gosh, still as beautiful as ever. To keep us entertained, it was once again Abdul the legend up for the act. Now I can’t exactly pinpoint when he became a legend, it was the little things he did like learning our names, his dad jokes, his funny laugh and his Yallah, but mostly it was his passion and love for his country. Having a tour guide who takes pride in showing you his homeland makes a tour one thousand times more enjoyable!! Anyhoo, our first stop on our looooong trip to the desert was a little village that looked like it belonged in Switzerland, not Morocco! A little alpine village that served as Morocco’s ski resort. Yeah I had that screwed up confused face too, Morocco has ski resorts???? Turns out to get to the Sahara you gotta go over the Atlas Mountains and not just one set, gotta go over the Mid Atlas Mountains and the High Atlas Mountains, I guess they couldn’t think of more imaginative names for them?? So our stop in Ifrane, the mountain village introduced us to something new in Morocco, the cold!!! Having been over heated most the trip it was nice to feel the cold mountain air, for about 5 minutes til I was over it and ready for the cosy warm bus again. Explains the lack of pictures…
Quickly BOTB and we quickly left Switzerland behind and was back in desert looking Morocco. Then out of nowhere, the hills started to have Arabic writing on them. Like big enough that if I read Arabic I’d know what it said. I’m still confused how the hell they do that. Abdul explained they did it with wheat but please tell me more, how do they get the letters so big? How do they mark it out? How do they get it so perfect??? If I wasn’t on a plane i’d google it and tell ya…
The legend explained the writing says “God, motherland and King”, very patriotic. Not a message from the aliens as I was starting to think! More gorgeous countryside and it was time for another pit stop. Just a petrol station, no Switzerland this time. They did however have a range of treats not found in the land of kangaroos, like ketchup pepitas and some weird arse flavour of Monster energy drink. Neither were good. Now I mentioned the trip to the desert was long and while I can’t recall how many hours, something like 7 sounds about right. Luckily Morocco has plenty to keep us entertained along the way. Like this pretty dam just in the middle of nowhere, being as beautiful as ever.
And this massive army base just spouting out of the desert again in the middle of nowhere. Maybe it’s where they keep the aliens??
Then my personal favourite, pulling up into a valley of palm trees. The location on my picture says Aoufous, so let’s go with that. This time we managed to get Abdul to star in and join us for a few snaps, gotta put a face to the legendary, wait for it… Abdul. Also managed to have some fun ourselves. Most fun was still had by Abdul who managed to get a piggy back from Aleesha back to the bus!!
At this stage, it was only just hitting lunch time, although somehow we were already three meals in?!? Our lunch stop at a cafe by a pool was lovely and all but we were all just getting antsy for the desert. Sahara where are you already?? I know good things come to those that wait but I’m not well known for my patience!! Finally, Abdul announced that we are close to our hotel that’s rated 1,000 stars. Yeah that’s code for sleeping outside! I was expecting tents pitched, sleeping on the floor, being kinda cold and uncomfortable but being ok with that because it was the bloody Sahara!!! Boy were we all surprised to get to the place where we were “camping”. Air conditioned main lobby, beautiful gardens, pool, WiFi and most importantly, real beds!!! We were glamping to say the least! Proper rooms with walls, they may not have been out of brick but there were walls and doors and real bathrooms and showers. To say that we were all relieved is an understatement!!
Unloading into our “tents” it was a quick change of clothes to ready ourselves for our Sahara camel trek. Yeah I could hardly believe I was doing that either!! In the hotel lobby Abdul and his cohorts helped us wrap our scarfs into turbans then it was out the back of the hotel to meet our rides.
Upon getting to “camp” we’d had a glimpse of the dunes but it wasn’t until we met our camels that the absolute gloriousness of the Sahara desert was upon us. Massive dunes and a blue sky that contrasted with the red sand so beautifully that we were speechless. Well, we were, the camels not so much. They like to chat!! I hadn’t ridden a camel for a while, not sure I can even recall when I last did, only to know that I have and the getting up and down is quite the carnival ride. Kyles of course in her perfect desert outfit did it with grace, I may have yelped…
Now some how I was lucky enough to be at the front of our camel line, if that’s what it’s called, so I could take in all the glory of the Sahara. I really can’t explain in words how beautiful it is only to say you could not wipe the smile off my face and every second was a pinch me moment that I could hardly believe I was lucky enough to behold. Beautiful, glorious, amazing, stunning, wonderful, not enough words to describe.
After trotting along for about an hourish, being quite comfortable I might add, we stopped at our destination to watch the sunset. I thanked Marlboro for lugging me along, couldn’t have been easy!!
Remember the gorgeous sand dunes I mentioned earlier?? The top of one of those was where we could watch the sunset. My unfit meatball body was not ready for the hike up the sand dunes, the worst torture imaginable on unconditioned thighs but like hell I was going to miss watching the sunset over the Sahara!! And by god, running up Everest would have been worth it for these views!
I think you can agree that the desert is so stunning that I’m forgiven for the ridiculous amount of selfies! It was a once in a lifetime (but hopefully not!) experience so there is no way I don’t want all the pictures as memories for when I’m old n grey and in my rocking chair. After having indulged in all the selfies and pics to last a lifetime, while also taking time out to appreciate the sunset and miraculous place we were so lucky enough to be, there was the getting down to deal with. Some chose just to take their chance and run, those of us with shonky knees chose the slow and sturdy way!! Ads was one of the fast arse ones with his Spider-Man legs which meant he was able take a shot of us snails on the way down, there we are!!!
BOM (got that one mum??) and we meandered back to camp as the sun sank into the dunes and the stars came out to delight us. Hands down that was one of the most amazing and memorable experiences of my life. Pretty sure that when life goes to shit in the future, I’ll be able to think of that afternoon in the Sahara and smile like there’s no tomorrow. Still can’t believe I got to do that and once again am grateful to those that helped me find my way to the Sahara!
Back at camp we were all high on the afternoon’s adventures (not the hash), the chatter and laughter amongst the group was infectious. But it was dinner time. After a day eating like a hobbit, I wasn’t overly hungry but the smorgasbord of food meant that of course I ate. I’m Italian, I was born to eat. Also English and born to whinge in case you hadn’t noticed!! Anyway, the yummy food of more than just tagine thank goodness was washed down with gin along with a side of gin… we were all getting into the party mood that night so when the drums around the camp fire started, we were our own tribe dancing around and laughing. I remember a lot of laughing that night, it’ll defs go down as one of the best nights of my life.
Once the band finished up, or escaped, not sure which, we were up to our own devices for entertainment. Of course I had a go on the drums, sounded like crap but who cares, fun is fun!!
All danced out we gathered around to chill and reminisce. Which lasted about 5 minutes before a game of never have I ever started. There may have also been some hash from Chefs going around but what happens on tour stays on tour. Ask me no questions I tell no lies.
The next morning was heaven sent, not only did we have the most memorable previous day but we weren’t required to be human until 10am. For those who over drank, over danced and may have had a little chucky, the late start was a gift. Which literally only lasted until 10am cos then it was into our jeeps for a desert safari. Over hills fast and around quick corners all in sand is exactly what the doctor ordered after a big night…
But somehow the desert air cured all hangovers and at our pit stop in the middle of the Sahara, we were all smiles and once again in amazement at the beauty of the desert.
Special mention to Connor, Amy’s husband and half of the American travel blogging couple who went above and beyond to get the most epic photo. Here’s a video of how and the final pic I stole from their blog!!
Back in our landcruisers, cos they aren’t the same as jeeps, we trekked through the Sahara to a nomad village, one that allows tourists. This family lives on the plains of the Sahara, trekking to the closest town once a week for supplies, but otherwise self sufficient, building their oven in the earth, keeping animals for milk and probs dinner, no electricity and using what the great earth provides them. Now whether these guys actually did all that or were just set up for us tourists, who knows but it sure looked authentic!!!
After having some time to wander around the nomads living area, we gathered in a large tent for Abdul to show us how they make Moroccan tea. All the other places we’d had tea cheated and used a kettle. Here they boiled the water, let it stew, then reboiled and strained it, I think… geez bananas I don’t really remember and I couldn’t take notes while sitting crossed legged in a tent, I’m not like other women, I’m not good at multi tasking. We all got a taste and it was nice but in all honesty, I’ll stick to my western coffee, never have been much of a tea drinker. Back in our cruisers through the desert to our next stop at a renowned musical band. I remember Abdul explained they were quite well known but can’t recall how or why. Of course they got our hips shaking again and the abundance of my chebs meant I was pulled up again to dance, but managed to escape back to my seat to watch the others get into the groove!!
As good as the music was, it was damn hot in the room and not all of us were appreciative of symbols clashing and drums beating given the night we’d had!! I think Abdul got the message and herded us back into our cruisers heading back to camp. Of course it wasn’t just a normal drive back to camp, once again through dunes, past loads of camels and around desert hotels that seemed to spring out of nowhere!!
Back at the hotel and finally, after two non starters, it was pool time. Yes my bathes were overly revealing and I wore a gym top over them but who cares when you’re in cool waters in the middle of the desert. Probs would have jumped in with my pjs on if I had to. And with ice cold beers delivered into our hands while in the pool, it was the place of dreams. Ok I may be over exaggerating but after a hot day cruising the desert, it was pretty damn good. I think we stayed in until our hands and feet looked like 100 year olds then had a quick shower and back into the dunes to watch the sunset over the beautiful Sahara. While waiting for the sun to go down in all its glory, the amazing Emma got her sand surfing skills on, there were drinks and group pics and all the laughing!! Such an awesome group to hang out with!
Another dinner and more dancing around the fire, although not as epic as the night before, bit more low key but still awesome fun all the same!! With an earlyish bedtime, I laid in bed being grateful to be in one of the most beautiful places on earth with such an amazing group of people, it really did feel like a dream. Still does when I think back on it.
With such an awesome group of people to tour Morocco with, of course there was someone, the amazing Laura, with a decent amount of yoga experience to take us through an early morning class. With a 5 hour bus journey this afternoon to Fes, we needed to get moving now before falling into our bus slumber. After searching high and low, quite literally, we checked the roof, we found a landing on one of the floors for about 10 of us to move through some poses. Having discovered an amazing view from the roof we headed back for a few snaps…
Geez it felt good to stretch more than just my arm to a glass of gin. Stretched and prettied up, we were once again heading for the blue city with Abdul giving us free time to roam and take selfies to our hearts content. While the day before I had planned to trek to the Spanish Church, I decided that instead I wanted to explore the city some more, yesterday’s brief visit didn’t feel nearly enough. While Kyles and Ads headed off with the others I was on my lonesome to explore. Well, you’re never really alone here, there’s usually at least 5 cats within arms reach to keep you company! And anyway, I’m not someone that can be around people 24/7, I need alone time and space to think. Not that I got much deep thinking done beyond “Aww what a cute little kitty” and “wow, that’s blue!”. Chefchouen certainly is one of the most prettiest cities I’ve ever gotten lost in, fancy blue doors, ornate knockers, some real some fake, and floor to ceiling blue walls that look more like they’d been carved out of stone than built. And did I mention the kitties?? I was in cat heaven, or maybe it was an insight into my future, alone and surrounded by cats?? Eeek, tried not to think a out that one too much!!
And yes, I did overload on the selfies. If there was ever a time to take a picture with a gorgeous backdrop, the time was nigh. Also did some selfie videos because I’m a Leo, I’m vain. Deal with it.
Having agreed to meet Kylie and her pack in the square at midday to get lunch, I was kinda stood up. Well not kinda, really was. During my wait, I got offered henna (henna not hash mum!) so thought why not?? Abdul had warned us to only to get the green one as the black can get itchy. I thought I’d asked for the green one, but obvs didn’t…
Lucky for me, henna’d and still waiting, Hamish from the tour spotted me looking like a loser and took me up to where some others from the group were having lunch. Let me tell you, getting stood up does not suck when you end up having delicious kofta and hummus with a yummy date and orange blossom smoothie as well as these views…
On the way back to lunch we ran into Kyles and her crew having a quick bite to eat so gathered them and were BOTB for our 5 hour trek to Fes. Here’s some more pics of the blue city to keep you entertained for 5 hours…
Of course we also had the awesome Abdul to keep us entertained, well me anyway, I may have been the only one listening to him went he went into fact mode again! Importantly, he explained the litter and why it was strewn through some of the country towns. Apparently there are no government programs in country towns to collect rubbish so it just gets left out in a pile somewhere, up to the elements of nature to blow it around. Shit, garbage collection was something I have definitely taken for granted! What the Governmwnt does do well is education, all school is free, even university including masters and doctorates. And if you’re poor or live far from a school, the government has places where you can board and eat for free. That’s whole next level making education a priority! Round of applause for Morocco and keep you hands clapping for their taxes, you only pay between 0 – 20% depending on what you earn, if you’re a teacher the max you pay is 11% and if you work the land than you pay none. Impressive. Abdul’s banter was only interrupted by the site of a van carrying about 15 dudes, one just sitting on the tow bar holding on. I guess not everything is perfect here.
Pulling into Fes, Abdul was just as tired as us so the brief on Fes was short, or I was being a bad student and not listening. So Fes has a population of 1.6 million people and the name means axe in Arabic. Also has the oldest Médina in Morocco and is home to the very first university opened in the world, opening in 859 by a lady called Fatima. Finally at the hotel in Fes and geez bananas, it’s like a resort, probs only a 3 star one but has a massive pool, deck chairs and looks like it would have been fancy, in the 70s. After a short chill by the pool because I still didn’t have bathes, it was then a quick outfit change before running out the door to a traditional Berber dinner of dancing, food, performers, all the bells and whistles. I had my favourite dress saved for the night, too bad as I was running out the door I couldn’t find my sandals so had to wear my tiger sneakers, pretty dress and sneakers, classy. At the dinner we were ushered to a table at the front, I should have known better than to sit so close to the stage… not only did I get pulled up the first time when they wanted drummers, but also the second time when just one person from the crowd had to belly dance… lucky for me there was plenty of wine so some how had the balls to dance on stage… sober Holly is embarrassed….
Lucky for me I wasn’t the only one to be picked on, Josh and his gorgeous girlfriend Katherine were whisked away to take part in we didn’t know what… by the end we still didn’t know what they had done, it’s highly possible they are now married….
What a brilliant night it was, amazing food, a little too much wine, shaking those hips and great company. Some dude wanted to take me home and give me sweets, luckily it was just a mate of Abdul’s pulling a prank, I think.
Needless to say the next day we were all a little worse for wear. Must remember there will now always be video evidence. Anyhoo, no time for hangover temple although when Abdul joked that the M of McDonalds actually stands for Morocco, all I wanted to do was curl up in a bed of French fries and cheeseburgers. Pretty sure I wasn’t the only one. But no time for hangovers on tour, it was off the bus for our tour of the Fes Médina, the oldest in the world remember? The Médina tour guide was called Mohammed, apparently the most common name in the world. He had a wicked sense of humour, had some long joke about mother in laws I wish I could remember but all I could still think about was McDonalds. Didn’t help the doors we were at looked like golden arches, could not get maccas out of my head!!
I did remember from Mohammed’s spill that there were 5 things every Médina in Morocco has, a Mosque, a bakery, a Quranic school, somewhere to wash before prayer and… nope, can’t recall the last one and google is being no help. Did also find out that a Riad means a house with a garden, neat. After the Golden Arches we wandered back to the bus and noticed something strange, what the F are those things perched on top of the buildings?
Stalks. Yep, those big arse birds that are supposed to deliver babies, these ones were obvs having a day off!! We were BOTB and headed to a fort, if there’s one thing that makes hangry Holly happy, it’s a fort! For some reason you couldn’t go into the fort, just check out the views of Fes. Yes they were gorgeous but I would have loved to see inside the fort. First I got teased with the Maccas and then the fort…
From the fort it was onto the Poterie de Fes, a massive mosaic place/shop/factory. Nothing like a distraction to get my mind off Maccas and the fort. And it was one hell of a good distraction, beautiful tiles hand cut into shapes and stuck onto absolutely everything, tables, mirrors, fountains, you name it. And all done by hand, dudes with tiny little chisels cutting the tiles, other dudes creating the patterns, others making pottery, others hand painting things. All hand made, if only I had the cashola to ship a tonne to AUS!!
Wandering through the Médina, you could feel the old, but not in a bad way. Gorgeous old windy alleys, donkeys in the streets, cute little streams running through and tiny door ways leading who knows where. And a beautiful markets full of colorful food, beautiful dresses, furniture I would love to buy a load of and lots of dead things, heads especially!
The people around the market were super friendly, every time Liam walked past there were shouts of “Ali Baba” and when asked where we were from and said Australia, we got “Aussie Aussie Aussie” with a massive smile. Although our stomaches were grumbling, our before lunch stop was at the local, uh, scarf maker?? What are people called that make lots of scarfs with those old loom things?? Words aren’t working for me right now. Anyhoo, the owner talked us through all the different types of scarfs, allowing us to feel the different fabrics. One felt like absolute heaven, wanted to curl up in it with my Maccas.
A few purchases later and a wander through the belly dancing outfits and we were all bordering on hangry, well, I was already there. With Mohammed on a mission to take us to lunch we were all a little dubious when he led us through one of those said tiny doors. Did not expect it to open up into this!!!!
Not only did we have lunch in one of the most gorgeous spots, but the pastilla was top notch, if only it came with a side of fries! Fed and feeling nearly human again, we were off to the tannery. It was as we approached and there was a whiff of something dead in the air, I remembered the warning, the place is supposed to absolutely reek. And yep, whoever told me that was right. The place smelt like dead meat that’s rotting… guess that’s kinda what leather is, except it’s the skin… lucky the place is pretty, and they do give you mint to shove up your nose to help with the smell…
Of course, the smell was forgiven when we saw their stash of shoes, handbags, jackets and all the amazing leather goods for sale. If I had a job to go back to I probably would have emptied my bank account on all the beautiful things but being broke and homeless, I just bought a gorgeous pair of slides. Luckily we got out of there before we could cause our bank accounts too much damage, it was BOTB and the brilliant Abdul was taking us to a shopping center to stock up on grog and snacks for our epic desert adventure to kick off the next day. For Kyles and I, we were once again on a different mission, mission bathes!!! The desert had a pool and there was no way we were gonna miss out for the third time! We scoured the mall like crazy people, in and out of every shop until an accessories shop had three pairs, two in our size so that made the decision easy!! Onto snacks and booze, ending up with enough to get a small army fed and smashed. But in half hour flat it was mission accomplished and we unloaded our two trolleys full onto the bus… may have over-ginned if that’s even possible!
Back to the hotel and it was onto our second mission, tickets for Glastonbury! At 6pm on the dot Kyles and I were frantically trying to buy tickets for us and a crew back in AUS but it turned out to be mission impossible. Sad face. Onto the next mission cos that’s what we do. Mission pharmacy and food which required a wander up the street, around a corner, up another street and winning, drugs and pizza in nearly a two hour trek…. oops, left Ads waiting for us at the hotel, hope we wasn’t hungry!! After stuffing our faces in Kyles and Ads room, we called it a night before the beers came out, well I did anyway! With the remenants of a hangover still hanging around and the Sahara beckoning the next day, I desperately needed sleep!!
With a 7.30am BOTB scheduled, you’d think I would have slept in as much as I could, that’s what I do, but for some reason the idea of being near a beautiful beach and not having dipped my feet in the water was all the wake up call I needed. Packed in a jiffy and I wandered down to the beach in near darkness thinking an early morning stroll before brekkie would be just what my meatball body needed. Unfortunately about 150m from the hotel there seemed to be some shady characters lurking in the shadows. In all honesty, there probs was no lurking or shady but my mum’s voice in my head about being safe sent me packing back to the hotel. For the two seconds I was there, it was so pretty!
After a carb overload at brekkie, Kyles was keen for a beach walk thank goodness, between us we’d be able to kick the arse of any lurkers. Of course lurkers were just in my imagination, the beach was beautiful, even before sunrise and made me start to wonder that if the deserts of Morocco were as stunning as the beaches, then maybe this country had it all?? Certainly has all the meatballs…
BOTB for an upcoming 6 hours of bus time in the day, we were lucky enough to at least see the sunrise while we questioned why we weren’t smart enough to download all the Netflix shows the night before. Abdul of course provided us with some entertainment with aussie dude Liam renamed Ali Baba on account of his epic beard, and the James Spader look alike Josh renames Mohammed, none of us were really sure why on that one. Abdul also introduced some Berber/Arabic words, like Shukran, meaning thank you. For some reason it sounded like the word chocolate to me, guess you had to be there. After such a lush beach backdrop it was onto the Morocco I expected, desert for miles, but pretty desert with trees and hills, or maybe it was just countryside?? It definitely felt like a step back in time either way, people making their way around with horse and cart, possibly they were donkies, they wizzed by so fast I’m not completely sure.
With the first half of our 6 hour leg down, it was time for lunch and what better setting than the beautiful Casablanca beach. Now, leading up to the trip, I’d heard of the movie Casablanca but had heard from a few peeps that the place itself was something of a shit hole, not really worth the pit stop. But I think I’d have to disagree. Yes it was obvs set up for tourists but the beach itself was pretty gorgeous, maybe I just love all beaches and could never diss one but I’ll just let the pictures speak for themselves.
After stuffing our faces with salad, cos the salads in Morocco are ginormous and yes you do stuff your face, we went for a quick wander up the foreshore with the 10 spare minutes we had then legged in back to the bus to head for the mosque which we’d heard was kinda big. Big is an understatement of the century. And to say it’s beautiful is another understatement. Don’t know how to describe it but to say it’s one of the most beautiful buildings I’ve seen in my life. Completely different to the cathedrals of the European countries, elegant design on the outside than absolute opulence on the inside. There’s something about the shape of the arches and doorways that I love, and the contrasting colours of the blues and greens set against the sandstone, just stunning and not the Morocco I expected!
Having found the previous day a dress that covers all the things while not sweating me to death, the only requirement to enter the mosque was shoes off. After sweltering outside, the cool marble floor on our feet was more than welcome. As were the bags provided to carry our stinkin shoes, someone had their thinking caps on for that one. The Mosque is actually called the Hassan II Mosque, the King who commissioned it to be the biggest and most grand building in Morocco. Cos that’s what makes a good King, have a massive building named after you, not like, taking care of your people and creating prosperity and equality for all. Anyhoo, Mr Hassan got his wish and it ended up being the largest Mosque in Africa and the third largest in the world. When it cost a whopping $600 – $800 million USD to build, you’d certainly hope so. The King didn’t have all that cashola himself so Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and Dubai spotted him, he obvs didn’t listen to his mother, if you can’t afford it, you don’t need it. Besides the money thing and do you really “need” a big arse Mosque, the fact that all the building materials were sourced in Morocco is pretty impressive. Well, except the Venetian glass and white marble which came from Italy but guess they don’t have those things in Morocco. And second most impressively (that’s a word right?) is that the white marble columns are natural humidifiers, somehow the marble absorbs the humidity in the air. For reals. And third most impressively, this place fits 25,000 people inside and 85,000 outside in the square. Sure women have to use the upstairs platforms to worship but it’s a matter of custom, at lest they are allowed in. Ok, so now for the most impressive of the impressively’s (defs not a word), the roof opens!!!! I kid you not, the place has a retractable roof, just like a football or tennis stadium. So worshippers can be closer to god, no wait, so they can have all the elements present when worshipping I think? There were these water well things in there too so I think it has something to do with that. So apparently with all these impressively’s it took 6 years to build, with people work ing 24/7 in 3 shifts. That’s some epic project management! The inside though, just wow upon wow and all the impressively’s in the world!! Unfortunately in discussing the impressively’s I think I swore, probs going to hell..
So in learning some more about the Muslim religion from our Mosque tour hostess, she talked about the importance of being clean before you pray. Given they pray five times a day, that’s a lotta cleaning. I think she saw our confused faces so she explained that it’s ok to just wash your hands before praying, however if praying at this super impressive mosque, the whole bottom floor is dedicated to these water features where people can clean themselves. I know water features is NOT the right name but seriously can’t remember and no idea what to google to find out. They look a little something like this…
Back outside the Mosque we wandered through a museum but as far as museums go, eh. After a super impressive Mosque, not much could impress. That Mosque was so damn impressive it deserves a million more pics…
BOTB and Abdul got his google on again with some more tantalizing info about Moroccan customs. And I’m not being sarcastic, really love this stuff!! So the current King, Mohammed IV is newly single, hot gossip in Morocco! The goss is that he’s divorcing his wife, who has been missing from public duties of late. Hmm, single King, single Holly… yeah, not Muslim otherwise i’m sure I’d be in with a chance!?! And more impressively than the Mosque, Morocco is a democracy, well, as close as possible. The people elect the parliament and the King chooses the Prime Minister from the winning party. And most super impressively, and maybe I naively didn’t expect, theres decent equality for women in Morocco. Women are entitled to do all jobs with the exception of the call to prayer, religious thing so understandable, and females can’t be King or Prime Minister. For the King bit, if they have only daughters, then he chooses another male in the dynasty to take the reins. The King thing I get, the UK line of succession has only recently been updated to be more 21st century but the PM thing, not so sure about. Maybe in time things might change, maybe. There are plenty of other countries with lots of work to do to get to their standards, and for an African nation, I think that’s impressive. Luckily it wasn’t far to the hotel, otherwise my head would have gone into overload! Once there it was the usual checkin and poor Aleesha was defs stuck with me. A couple of coldies later we were BOTB yet again and headed for the market area of Casablanca and around the city. This was when I began to understand the blah about Casablanca, it was pretty dodgy if I’m honest!! Luckily though it’s got all the great western offerings like KFC, which made for a loo dash, all that water goes straight through ya… sorry, too much info!
Abdul once again did good and took us to a local for a dinner of, you guessed it, tagine! Yes there was pasta and other western things on the menu but when in Morocco! I sure as hell won’t be able to figure out how to cook a tagine once I get home, although really wish I could, they are kinda one pot wonders and that’s my specialty. After once again feeling like a stuffed meatball we were BOTB to the hotel where straight to bed is never an option so we gave the bar some business and ate Toblerone, those three humongous ones I somehow managed to snag in duty free on our gin fueled run for the plane. If left with me I’d be a chocolate covered meatball before too long so happy to share. It was over toblerone and gin that Josh learnt about his doppelgänger, although when I said James Spader he had no idea who he was, these young ones… of course we got our google on and a young Spader next to Josh was uncanny. If only I took a pic… here’s Josh tho, what do ya think??
Once again the 7am BOTB meant no time to play, just sleep before another long arse bus ride. BTW, a 7am BOTB is when the bus departs, before that showers and brekkie is required so I’m not quite the granny you think!!
Up and BOTB at 7am, it was onto Rabat, the capital of Morocco. To me, the name just sounds like Rabbit said real fast but I think it’s just my lack of concentration so early in the morning, my brain doesn’t function until at least 10am. Only an hourish later and we were pulling into what I’m calling the Rabat warren, the place was crazy! Four lane roundabouts and police having to direct traffic everywhere cos people were nuts. At least the officers looked damn good doing it, check this chick out:
Our first stop in the warren was the unfinished mosque and museum of King Mohammed V. You rock up to the place and it’s pretty impressive with the royal guard on horses, not sure exactly what they are protecting but certainly wouldn’t wanna mess with these dudes!
Abdul ushered us past the guard and into the mosque grounds, he didn’t need to explain what was meant by unfinished…
The plan was for the mosque to have 253 columns to represent the days of the Muslim lunar calendar, but they only made it to 80 something I think. Didn’t quite listen to everything Abdul said, too busy looking and I can’t do both so had to ask Wikipedia for some help… apparently some dude called Yusuf Yaqub al-Mansur, member of the Almohad Caliphate, a Berber Muslim empirecommissioned a tower that was intended to be the largest minaret in the world along with the mosque, also intended to be the world’s largest. Again, why do men measure their worth by building the biggest something?? Anyhoo, when the dude died in 1199, construction stopped. But now I get why the guards are here, I tuned into Abdul again once he started talking about the Mausoleum of King Mohammed V, a King is buried here, makes sense. Never been so close to a King before, dead or alive. This King was so important because he kicked arse and worked hard for the independence of Morocco, he was their Nelson Mandela. This dude I would have liked. Heading to the Mausoleum, the site is stunning, even unfinished. Can hardly imagine how magnificent it would have been. The Mausoleum once again had the stern looking guards, and inside a man chanting the Quran so no talking, pictures ok but no flash. Have to say, there is something about the Arabic/Berber language I think sounds so beautiful. Especially when sung. Might have to get some Arabic music on my playlist. The Mausoleum was beautiful inside, as expected, and strangely, had a feeling of power and grace. Probs makes no sense to others but you certainly felt moved and privileged to be there.
Once exited and a million more pictures of the site later, it was a quick pit stop in the loo before it was BOTB. That was when I realised my sin. The pretty long sleeve red dress I was wearing, perfect for Florence, not so much Morocco, was lined in the bottom half, but quite see through in the top half. Faaaaark. Hadn’t even looked in the mirror properly until then, pretty sure I got ready with my eyes shut. Needless to say the colour of my face was the same as my dress. Felt like I had completely disrespected the sanctity of the Mausoleum and get why the guards looked so angry. Wish someone had told me but anyhoo. Abdul was nice enough to let me get my bag from underneath the bus to find a top for underneath the dress. Have to say I was quite sheepish for the next few hours. But mistakes happen so I put my embarrassment aside and onto the Médina of Rabat where we had another lovely tour guide join us, this time I got his name, Yusuf, just like the dude with the unfinished mosque. Yusuf was a character too, love the Moroccan sense of humour. He toured us through a place I’m gonna call a fort, looked like one but is actually a Kasbah, I know what you’re thinking.. “Rock the Kasbah, rock the Kasbah…”, that was stuck in all our heads and may have made it out loud more than once.
This Kasbah of the Udayas as Google tells me is like a keep, every Moroccan city has one. Keep, fort, same same, both have a defensive wall. And just for the record, the song Rock the Casbah by The Clash is about the ban of Western Rock music by an Arab King, kinda feel like it was written for our trip though. Must stop relying on Google for my blogs… Anyhoo, as I love a fort, I love me a Kasbah. Old bricked paths that twist and turn, so much so that we kinda got lost. About 8 of us too busy singing I think and lost sight of Abdul. Ooopsy. But being lost is fun, you walk real fast so see more. And also stop for silly pictures!!
Turns out that in a Kasbah all roads lead to the same place and we managed to find Abdul. Or he managed to find us, same same. Yusuf relieved our stress heads with a story of why cats are his best friends and have his phone number. Long story and the adrenalin was still pumping so don’t remember it all, just the punchline. Cats found a massive treasure in a house once, so now everyone loves cats. Explains why there’s a zillion of them everywhere you look. Wandering around and taking in the pretty, we emerged into a Kasbah oasis. A beautiful lush green garden surrounded by the pink walls of the Kasbah, awww, Rabat you’re so pretty!! I take back the quip about you being a warren.
Never been so relieved to be BOTB and thankful for Amy’s Dad joke as we passed by a gorgeous cemetery… How many dead people are in the cemetery? All of them!!! Haha, my kind of humour. Miss my Dad!! Heading further into Rabat, we’re told it’s the city of green. All the roofs have green tiles which is pretty but have to admit, I like the look of Marrakech better. Abdul also explains the colours of the Moroccan flag, green is the colour of the Arab, red the colour of the Berber and white means peace. Ahh, also get the colours of the cities now too. And the star on the flag has 5 points to represent the 5 pillars of Islam. May have mentioned that before but so many things in my head I’m not sure. Next stop is the Palace of the King, an alive one this time. Apparently the dude even lives here so we’re not allowed in to get our tourist on, just allowed a token snap by the gates. But have to say, as the bus drove into said gate, wowsers. The gardens and site is immaculate. Understandable given 500 people work there as Abdul the Google tells us, and is set over 5 acres, apparently there’s a Necropolis of Roman ruins in there too but we’re not royal enough to see it.
“Yallah”, let’s go!! That’s now how Abdul herds us back on the bus, don’t mind being herded though when it comes with a smile and a pat on the back as we get on the bus like his little herd of stray cats. And now, we’re bound for Chefchaouen, the blue city and source of a zillion Instagram snaps. Even has its very own Instagram alley. Literally a spot designated for the best pics for Instagram. For a city so famous, it’s name is kinda hard to say. To me it’s like Chef-shh-ow-en, but that’s in my Aussie bogan, when Abdul says the name is sounds so much more pretty! With a four hour trip ahead of us, it’s lucky Morocco is so damn pretty, and that everyone was smart enough to download from Netflix for this leg of the trip. Of course, Abdul being an awesome guide and passionate about his country downloaded his Google pages about Morocco and the blue city, which I’ll just call it cos it’s real name is too hard to spell right every time. As we’re now well and truly in outback Morocco, we’re told that there’s 25 different types of scorpions in Morocco, nice to know considering we’re due to spend two nights in the desert shortly. But relief, there’s no Cobra’s in the desert, just in the mountains. FFS, we’re literally snaking our way through the mountains on the way to be blue city (like my pun? Snaking? I know, you’re not funny if you have to explain your jokes!) More animal facts, Morocco used to have Lions, until 1964 when us humans slaughtered so many there’s none left in the wild. Damn humans. There are plenty of Camels left in the wild though, although they are camels with only one hump so called a dromedary, the ones with two humps are in Saudi. Onto my favourite subject, food!! As we already know, they love their tagines and pastilla in Morocco, and they also love their couscous and cows feet. Yeah one of them I won’t be trying. They are also keen on tea with mint although Abdul warned against drinking the “water of life” from figs, apparently one glass will knock you out for days and you won’t remember a thing. Probs not something to tell a bus full of aussies but anyway. This was when Abdul left us all speechless by telling us that as per his Muslim beliefs, he has never tried beer, wine, cigarettes or hash. Dude is clean as a whistle. I wonder if he knows about gin?? Onto more facts, cos this nerd certainly hasn’t had enough! The national sport of course is football, well, soccer if we’re talking Aussie. Second most popular, marathon running. Did not expect that! Done with the talking, we were left to enjoy the countryside and/or do our own marathons, the Netflix variety. Taking some time to look out the window rather than binge, Morocco is certainly beautiful, a countryside of donkeys, goats and olive trees but in all honesty, some parts look quite poor and run down. There is quite a lot of rubbish on the streets in some towns we pass through. But people have a simple life out here, they live off and work the land. They don’t have to worry about careers and those things we rate as first world problems. The shrink wannabe in me wonders if they are happier, I’m sure there’s a study that says so.
Nearing the blue city, Abdul gets his google on again for our intro to Chefchauoen. Just gonna spell it wrong! So the place is known for being blue, got that, but also well known for its goats cheese, olive oil and hash. Hash as in pot, but stronger and kinda illegal but ok to buy if you wanna smoke it. Not sure how that works but ok. Apparently as a dude, you’ll get offered it by every second person but the chicks not so much, it’s a respect thing. Nice to know. To say the blue city sticks out like a sore thumb is an understatement. The countryside is all red soil with green, green, green then there’s the big spot of blue on the hillside, looks a little something like this:
Pretty damn gorgeous if you ask me, I expected blue but not so blue, makes no sense at all I know but the size and blueness is more than I expected. I’ll let that one go. Jumping off the bus in Chefs (which I’ll now call it) and we’re immediately greeted by pretty rainbow stairs, guess they know how to do tourist.
It’s a short walk up the road and through the square until we’re surrounded by blue. And yes, a chorus of “I’m blue da ba dee da ba daa” started in my head and wasn’t going anywhere!! Really am showing my age! Abdul took us on a brief tour through the city, stopping at Instagram Alley for a group shot before letting us loose! Then it was blue upon blue upon blue…
There was the option of a hike up to the hill/mountain to the Spanish Church, a feat some of us preferred to save for the next day. Instead we wandered the blue city, finding the dude who for 5 bucks would let you use his blue as blue can be room for snaps. Needless to say us Insta hungry crazies took part, some good shots but I’m not much of a poser so felt like a knob!!
With sunset beckoning, we tried to grab a quick dinner then head up the hill a little ways to watch. Unfortunately our “quick” shawarmas took 40 minutes and we literally ran to a spot with a view for what was a magical sunset over the blue city. As you guessed it, there were a zillion upon zillion pictures, this place is just so pretty you almost can’t help yourself!!
Well and truly touristed out for the day, we did what aussies do best, found beer!! Of course being a massive tourist attraction, they had a pub and we swarmed like bees to honey. And once again, free food! A zillion plates of hot chips as freebies, Moroccans certainly give Italians a run for their money on feeding people!
Fed and watered we were BOTB and pretty happy so when Abdul started playing some background music it turned into a full blown karaoke session with the likes of Toto Africa (of course), Shakira, Hakuna Matata, ABBA and some Brittany and Bieber thrown in for good measure. But of course the track that got everyone Mo-rockin was Bohemian Rhapsody!
Back at the hotel we were either tired or sheepish about our singing antics, either way it was bed time and more beauty sleep ready for more Insta snaps in Chefs the next day.
So remember how the night before Sean and I were dancing around the living room like crazy people and singing ABBA songs… yeah well when Kylie came into my room at 8.30am in a panic cos we had to leave for the airport in an hour, pretty sure my blood was still 90% gin. Made the packing and getting ready real fun. Quick shower, closed my bag on what I’d half packed the night before and was off. What a surprise packet my bag of clothes turned out to be!!
It would have been a saving grace had Kylie not had a massive night out also, but like me, she was also still half cut. How we made it to the airport I have no idea. Do recall the loud random conversations we were having on the train to Gatwick about saggy undies and our mums, surely the other passengers would have been entertained no??
Maybe we should be drunk for trips to the airport more often, the tube and train felt like only a 5 minute ride, we managed to checkin and pass through security in a nano second and Nando’s appeared out of thin air to feed our drunk bordering on hung over selves. So, people in London are obsessed with Nando’s, they have massive Nando’s restaurants and people rave about it like its heaven sent. For my first Nando’s experience which was served 15 minutes before boarding, it was kinda spesh, but in all honesty, all food tastes amaze balls when it’s 3am and you’ve drank too much… except it was 1pm… Anyhoo, a burger and fries with a hundred condiments and 5 glasses of Pepsi later, we legged it, and this time I really mean legged it as in running/hobbling, we managed to board our train in our inebriated state… except it was a plane, really had no idea at the time. All I know is that 2 hours into our flight to Morocco and our hangovers kicked in… not enough crap plane food and European doses of Ibuprofen in the world to help with that…
Lucky for us we had the gorgeous Moroccan landscape to distract us from our hangovers, so much more green than I ever could have imagined, had to blink a few times to make sure it wasn’t the gin messing with my eyes… Nope, Morocco from the sky really does look like this…
Landing in Morocco, we were super aware that we were two young (haha) blonde women landing in a Muslim country where we needed to respect their cultural beliefs. And thank F we did because had I walked through the 500 levels of security in a skirt I would have been a little worried. Pretty sure our passports were checked 10 times, bags scanned 20 times and looked up and down about 100… but all good, we were through and both on African soil for the first time ever. And wowsers, did not expect such a fancy pants airport, certainly made the RADelaide airport look like a tin shed!!
Remember how I mentioned we were being respectful of the culture?? What that meant was long sleeved tops and pants, so you can imagine the piles of sweat we turned into when we stepped out the airport into 39 degree heat… pretty sure I sweated out the gin and the Nando’s while we waited for our guide to collect the other travelers and deliver us to an air conditioned van. Feel overheated just thinking about it, defs no selfies from that part of the trip!! Once at the hotel, we found Adam Tancbesakoatovsov, our third musketeer and most importantly found a freezing cold thirst quenching beer, never has a beer tasted so good. It even stars in its own picture…
A few beers later, with some hotel checkin happening somewhere along the way, and we all gathered for our Travel Talk tour meeting. Here we met Abdul, our tour guide, who at this point was not yet at his soon to be legend status, and also met the rest of the tour group. Of the 26 people, there were 6 Americans and the rest were bloody aussies!!! Nothing wrong with aussies, just didn’t come to Africa to only meet Aussies, I swear there’s more of us overseas than what’s left in Australia! Abdul gave us a run down of each and every day’s activities, well at least I think he did, spent the whole session squinting at him like it’d help me try work out what the hell he was saying… what I did fathom was dinner, the Holster never misses a mention of food. Onto the bus, which would be our fourth musketeer for our adventure and off we were into the heart of Marrakech. When you’re hungover, sweaty and a wee bit jet lagged, food is life and I would have eaten a dirty street pie at that stage… lucky for me, I got a chicken pie instead, called a pastilla in Morocco, one of their traditional dishes of chicken, pistachio, cinnamon and other spices all wrapped in a light pastry, sounds weird, tastes weird but also so so good!!!! Looks a little something like this…
Unfortunately for us, there was no cold, delicious, mouth watering beer to enjoy with dinner, Muslim country remember!! Maybe this place would help me curb my gin addiction… may replace it with a pastilla addiction… With the tour crew all tangine and pastilla’d out, we headed back to our hotel and upon the suggestion of one of the group, possibly me, we gathered for a quick drink by the pool. One beer turned into three, maybe four and before long we were all besties and like we’d know each other longer than mere hours. It was on the walk back to my room I had the feeling that this was going to be one hell of a trip, a gorgeous country and one hell of an awesome group to tour it with!! Poor Aleesha, my new roomie, got a taste of the trip to come, trying to get an early night and having to put up with me coming in at 1am, lucky she’s an awesome gorgeous girl and had no complaints, I think… It was at this stage I got the first of many surprises from my packing, wet PJs, guess they weren’t dry when I grabbed them off the line while legging it out the house, oops.
Pretty much the only thing I don’t like about organised tours, besides hours on the bus, and being told what to do, and packing every day, like I said, pretty much the only thing, is the wake up calls. I’m not a morning person so every day having to be up at stupid o’clock and onto the bus for 8.30am is like having to be at work again… sorry, here I am whinging again when I literally am living the best life… anyhoo, the wake up call wasn’t my only problem on the first morning, the fact I’d only repacked the pretty dresses from my Florence trip meant I looked like I was going out for a night on the town every day… Luckily the strict dress code I’d been abiding so far wasn’t so strict, otherwise I had one pair of jeans and one top from our sweaty plane ride to last me 10 days, double oops.
Our bus into the Médina of Marrakech was my first glimpse of the real Morocco, was too sweaty and hung over to notice a single thing on the trip from the airport the previous day! What I saw, I didn’t expect, I saw green… green trees, green grass, so much green! Had it in my head Morocco was desert like, given one of the days we’d be heading to the Sahara. To my amazement, the city of Marrakech is anything but desert, grass along the roads, flower beds everywhere, palm trees and gorgeous mosques of white, blue, turquoise, orange and so many more colours, really should have got my google on before heading over.
For the tour of the Médina, guide duties were taken over by, um, uh, can’t remember his name, let’s just call him Abdul 2.0 cos as Abdul 1.0 told us, there’s 99 names in Morocco starting with Abdul, which means service of god so why wouldn’t ya want to be called that? So Abdul 2.0 was a small smiley man, in traditional white Moroccan robes, and an Adidas cap, quite the contrast!
The Médina of Marrkech is something else, spices of every colour, beautiful door arches, bright pink walls and cats, little kitty cats everywhere!! Not to mention a 20km gorgeous sand stone wall surrounding the city… we all know walls do more harm than good but I’ll give this one a pass since it’s now just a pretty object, with no intent of harm, possibly not when it was built though… might have to google that one!
Of course the BEST thing about tours is all the tidbits of information from the guides that not even google would care to share… Like the cities of Fes, Marrakech and Rabat have all had turns being the capital of Morocco, Rabat currently holds the title, and all the cities have a different colour, Marrakech is red, although I’d call it a dark pink. Since we’re going to the other two cities, guess I’ll find out what their colours are. And apparently if you choose to paint your house a different colour to that of the city, you have to pay a significant amount of cashola to the government. Not sure I’m on board with that, like freedom of speech surely there should be a freedom to paint your house whatever damn colour you want!! Wandering past the Mosque, Abdul 2.0 once again was on fire with all the info, so for the call to prayer, done from the top most pillar of the Mosque, back in the day the dudes that rang the bell were always blind so they couldn’t look into the open Riad’s and see women showering. Ok, so a few questions pop into mind, what the hell is a Riad? Do they shower just out in the open, no shower screens? If so, hope they’ve got strict rules about drones in Marrakech!
So after an insightful wander through the Médina, we headed for the Prime Ministers Palace, famous for all the pretty instagram shots! So this dude had one of the biggest palaces in Morocco so he could accommodate his 4 wives and 24 concubines, no you didn’t read that wrong. Dude must have been super fit, and patient, and possibly deaf… The reason he reckoned he needed all 28 women in his life was because there were just sooooo many things that needed to be done for him, like cooking, sewing, embroidering, cleaning etc that couldn’t possibly done by just one wife, and/or servants. Reason seems a bit sketchy to me. The palace was called Bahia after his favourite wife, way to create a war between your 28 lovers mate, wonder what age he was when he died??? So each wife had their own room, the concubines shares rooms but had an ornate and stunning lounge room, that looked a little something like this… BTW, google may disagree with this account but anyhoo…
Do you think maybe he favoured them a little?? Abdul 2.0 seems abhorrent at the Prime Ministers promiscuity and made a point of telling us that polygamy in Morocco was mainly for the rich as you’d need plenty of cashola to support all the wives and is not accepted in the cities anymore, but still kinda done in the traditional villages, although frowned upon. BUT, it was OK during the war because there were less men and women needed to procreate so it was ok for a dude to spread his seed amongst many women, he didn’t say it exactly like that but you get the drift!
From the outside, I definitely would not have called this place a Palace, just looked like a rather large, plain building but once inside, wowsers!! Absolutely gorgeous with mosaic tiling floor to ceiling, carved wood, lead light windows, fountains, a inside garden, stunning detailed ceilings, you just kinda walk around saying wow…
So Abdul 2.0 explained the reason for the plain Jane outside and the wowsers inside was that apparently the rich didn’t want people to know just how good they had it, so they’d keep their places boring on the outside then fancy up the inside, also done to keep away the evil eye which cursed people who showed off their wealth. And the Prime Minister being the stand up bloke he was insisted that the musicians that would entertain at his lavish banquets had to be blind so they wouldn’t tell others about his wealth and also so they wouldn’t perv on his wives and concubines. Sometimes you just get a feeling you really wouldn’t have liked someone… Dude has taste though, check out the stunning garden…
Once the palace tour was done and dusted, we wandered back through the Médina while Abdul 2.0 once again turned into Google. As he told us, there are 5 pillars (I think they are kinda rules??) of Islam. The first, that you believe in one god, Allah and Mohammed as his last prophet. The second you must pray five times a day, done facing Mecca. Must google Mecca. The third is about Ramadan, for one month a year, you fast from sunrise to sunset, with no food, no smoking, imagine the pig out once the sun goes down! The fourth is about charity, you must give to the poor, whether it’s money, food or otherwise, you must help those less fortunate than you. And the fifth, at least once in your life you must go to Mecca. Ok, Google tells me that Mecca is the holiest city in Islam, located in Saudi Arabia and is the birthplace of the prophet Mohammed and the site of his first revelation of the Quran. And apparently god says Mecca is best place in the world. So out of a population of 35 million, made up of 99% Muslim, only 35,000 Moroccans are allowed per year. With around 1.8 billion Muslims in the world all living by the 5 pillars of Islam you could imagine the place would get a bit crowded. To be one of the lucky ones from Morocco to visit Mecca, you put your name into a draw and wait for the lucky day your name is drawn. Can take years and years. Once you’re over 74 you get priority cos you know, time is running out. You then have to fork out around £5k for the trip. I guess it’s the trip of a lifetime so you spend your lifetime saving for it. This place called Mecca definitely has my attention. Wonder if you have to be Muslim to go there?? Google says yes. And for the last tidbit of info, the five stars on the Moroccan flag represent the five pillars. Nice. Listening to Abdul 2.0 I hardly noticed we’d wandered back into the Square to the sounds of a shrill pipes, which is kind of nice until you look down and realise it’s the sound to make Cobra’s dance… yep, snakes, just there, right there, no cages, just staring at you with their evil eyes. It was at this stage I sandwiched myself to Kylie’s back and prayed for dear life the snakes wouldn’t sense my fear and attack… they are evil bloody things!! Snakes in a Square, would beat Snakes on a Plane hands down, a whole square of Cobras going nuts on the tourists, payback for being made to dance when they just really don’t wanna… wait, is that sympathy for the Snakes?? Hell no, my sympathy was saved for the monkeys, poor little fellas had chains around their necks and were being pulled along by their captors. I know you’re supposed to respect a countries culture and customs but animal cruelty just doesn’t sit well with me no matter where I am in the world. It’s times like these you feel useless.
Once through the square with my life intact, possibly not my wits, we were back on the bus (BOTB for future reference) and headed for Essaouira, a beachside town. Say beach to me and I’m a happy camper. With Abdul 1.0 back in charge, he enthusiastically told us more about his home country. I find facts interesting so hang with me while I get my nerd on and share some more! Of the 35 million people in Morocco, 60% are less than 35 years old. Complete opposite of AUS, where there are more people aged over 45 than under 30. Wander what makes our countries population so different? Maybe aussies live longer? So the main forms of cashola generation in the country is from Tourism, understandable, the place is bloody beautiful, from agriculture like grains mainly grown in the mountainous regions and from taxes. And from painting your house a different colour, that’s my guess… So Berber is the main language of the country, with most people also speaking Arabic and French, cos the frogs had a massive influence on the development of Morocco. Enough nerd for now.
Before hitting up Essaouira, we stopped at a store which must be their equivalent of CostCo, without the pesky membership fees. Would you like to buy a washing machine with your carton of milk?? The stop was mainly for the tour crew to stock up on snacks, water etc but for Kyles and I it was a chance to buy clothing appropriate for Morocco, we were both suffering massively from hangover packing! A dress and Moroccan pants later, along with a life times supply of snacks, cos you know, what if food doesn’t exist in a few days?? We were BOTB and headed for our lunch stop because yep, on a tour time is precious so we’d squished in the Médina, palace tour and evil snakes before lunch. Having had food envy the night before from Adams meatball tagine, I finally got to indulge myself. Meatballs anywhere in the world are amazing, never met a meat ball I didn’t like. Although I am starting to look like a meat ball…
Meat balls were fab, being told I was beautiful over and over by the creepy waiter with a glass eye, not so much. Blonde and big boobs is apparently every Moroccan mans type. If only it was every aussie dudes type maybe I wouldn’t be so single!! Anyhoo, stuffed full of meatballs and possibly an ice cream and we were BOTB, finally beach bound. Music to my ears. But nope, should have listened to Abdul instead of writing down all the facts, there was still one more stop at a women’s Co-op for making Argan Oil. Women empowered to build their own business, I’m on board with that. Having heard of Argan Oil, was a fad for hair products for the dudes reading, I hadn’t really thought about the actual process of making it, like a lot of things I eat/consume I guess. Hmm, how do cocoa beans become chocolate?? Another day. So the ladies use a rock to crack the shell of the Argan seed/bean?? then grind it into a paste from which the oil is then sifted out… no that doesn’t sound right. Here’s a pic, you’ll figure it out…
Wanting to support local business, I bought the oil and by god to this day, best purchase ever. Makes your hair soft, takes away the frizz, can also be used as a face serum, apparently it’ll make me look 21 again?? Liquid gold if you ask me. After scooping up the purchase of a lifetime, Abdul decided it was the perfect time, in 40ish heat in the middle of nowhere to sit us down in a rickety room, stick a map on the wall and tell us all about the geography of Morocco. No idea what he said, was too busy sweating out my body weight in water. Question time and only one person put up their hand, I think everyone else was close to passing out just like myself. After what felt like an eternity we were back on the bus and finally beach bound. No more stops but a definite slow down for us to snap pics of the infamous goats in trees. For reals, goats climb up the trees to nibble on the leaves. Apparently this time of the year it’s not natural for them to do it so any goats in trees are staged, so no stopping to give money to the dudes that put them up there, I’m with you on this one Abdul. Did snap a pic from the bus window cos I’m a tourist and can’t help myself…
At the hotel in Essaouira and it HAD to be wine o’clock. Why had? Well it’s wasn’t no 5 star hotel so no bar fridge in the room meant cold wine needed drinking ASAP. Yes there’s a fridge on the bus and it could have been drunken at a later date but whatevs. And lucky for us, there was a gorgeous pool and outdoor area for us to all sit and chat. Would have loved a swim but this dork didn’t have bathes, remember the story of the hungover packing?? All good, more time to chat, and although most of us were aussies, the majority were living and working in London so awesome to hear about life in London, future planning!!
Abdul rounded us all up and it was off to the beach and main square in Essaouira. I know Australia has some of the most beautiful beaches in the world but Morocco is giving it a run for its money! Stunning and with old fort like buildings all along the esplanade, made for fun climbing but probs wasn’t the best idea in a dress when windy, may have given the locals a eye full, yikes, Muslim country Holster!! Anyhoo, check these pics out and tell me this beach would be home in AUS??
Remembering the evil awaiting in the square of Marrakech, I was braced for more evil Cobras but instead, got fire dancing! Hells yes!!!! After a wander with Abdul we were let loose for dinner. A largeish group of us took over the first floor of a local joint, rearranging the furniture to fit us all then settled in for a yummiest of yum dinners. Beef tagine, vegetable tagine and couscous. Yes I could eat all that myself but instead shared with a few others. We also ordered some Frying Old Soles cos when you see them on the menu you have to see what they are. Turns out they are fried fish, and not the good kind! The beef tagine was one of the yummiest things I’ve ever eaten so made up for it…
With about 15 of us squished into an itty bitty room, it was the perfect chance for us to get to know each other a wee bit better. Amongst us was an Aussie chef who worked at the Michelin Star restaurant The Fat Duck in London, there was a cute American newly wed couple who were travel bloggers, another awesome American couple, the dude looked like James Spader and the chick a Moroccan Princess then there were us aussies, mostly living in London. A fun as hell bunch who were a barrel of laughs. Mind you, when we explained what the famous AB takeaway in Adelaide is, they were mortified, yeah us Aussies are a weird bunch at times! With stomaches at breaking point we wandered along the esplanade back to the hotel and happened to stumble across a beachside bar with an acoustic guitar player, funny how we always happen to stumble upon a bar… It’s well known that there’s always space for wine, it fits in the gaps, but did not expect all the tapas the lovely waiter bought out as freebies. Just when you think you can’t fit any more… The guitar player dude was an absolute wonder, I’m not an Ed Sheeran fan but when sang with a Moroccan accent, hells yes!! His rendition of Shallow bought a tear to the eye and his close of a beautiful Arabic song was the icing on top of an epic epic day in Morocco. At 10.30pm we had to call it a night, with an 7.30am BOTB scheduled heading for Casablanca and the blue city we all needed our beauty sleep to make sure we were Insta ready!!!
Holly vs the world 