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Bath Spa Pool

So I have a confession… I woke up about 7am, saw Kyles awake doing stuff on her phone and instead of being a good friend and getting up to start the day, I rolled over and went back to sleep. Sleep has a way of trumping EVERYTHING. Must stop saying trump, hate thinking of that orange faced misogynist…

So after deciding to love my friend more than sleep, we were up and at it, doing all the things someone my age needs to look even half decent in the morning then out of our Airbnb with half hour to spare. After our chocolate indulgence the night before, brekkie was far from our minds so we headed for the other thing Bath is famous for, that massive curved building thing, should google the actual name… A little stroll and there it is. Bloody brilliant. Can imagine it’d cost a mint to live there and dealing with pesky tourists like us would be a pain but still, when I win the lotto, have solved world hunger and bought Canava Hall in Brixton, I’ll be buying one of these. Pictures just don’t even show how magnificent these buildings are. And words can’t describe. Cue “tourist” and all the pics and selfies… loser.

After having annoyed the residents long enough and Kyles having followed me on a wild goose chase up a hill, we found the Botanic Gardens. Of course, cute, quaint and beautiful. Much like everything in Bath. Except the groupies.

After a coffee revival, we called/booked/apped an Uber. We don’t call anyone anymore, so what is it really?? Anyhoo, we headed for the nearest entry point for the Bath Skyline walk, what is meant to be an epic loop of castles and beautiful lookouts over the city of Bath. If we could give an Uber 7 stars, this dude would have gotten them! Talked about how 30 or so years ago all the buildings in Bath used to be black, covered in soot from the coal smoke coming out of the beautiful chimneys I love so much. Some bright spark mandated that all heating be changed to gas and all the buildings cleaned and restored back to their pristine white sandstone beauty. Smart person, not sure Bath would be the tourist attraction it is with black sooty buildings. Now it’s one of the most beautiful cities I’ve ever been to. Jumping out of our super duper Uber, his seven star rating dropped to a one. The walk up to the Skyline loop was a muddy staircase from hell. Did the dude not see the shoes we were wearing?? Inappropriate footwear at its finest.

After sliding and yelping our way to the top, with all our belongings strapped to our backs nonetheless, the views were something to behold. Just wish my lame arse iPhone could take a decent picture. The view over Bath and the hills, stunning. Will go back to that memory when I need a happy moment.

Looking at the Skyline path ahead, we conceded defeat knowing our girlie boots were in no way up for the task. Heading in the general direction of the town, it was one of the most beautiful strolls down a hill you could ask for… look, a beautiful house and stream… Look again, another cute house and laneway. And chimneys!! Bath is gorgeous. Sorry for paying out your name. And sorry to Kylie for the trillion “tourist” stops.

Making our way to a bridge with no name, or one I can’t remember, it was again just another moment of wow. You wonder if people that live here ever get sick of all this beauty??

Finally listening to our (mine) moaning tummies we headed for a lunch spot. On the walk, had my boots not been muddy as hell and I looked like an orphan annie, we would have casually popped into the house opens on the way. And I may have mortgaged everything I own to buy one. Too bad I don’t own anywhere near enough…

After nearly a month traveling and drinking and eating all the things, I decided today was the day I’d get back on keto and try eat healthy. Damn my unreasonable thinking. While digging into a healthy omelette, Kyles had the most delicious Hungarian beef stew with dumplings. Didn’t even wanna take a food pic I was so consumed by food envy!! So having booked a 4.30pm train back to London, we tried to plan our visit to the Thermae Pool & Spa perfectly so we could just shower after then jump on the train home. Well, the lineup wasn’t the problem, more so the digital vouchers we’d booked and paid for had to be printed by and picked up at the Bath Tourist Info centre, which was closed on Sundays, I can imagine a Sunday would be the quietest day for tourists?!? And doesn’t all that kinda defeat the purpose of a digital ticket?!?!? After a somewhat standoffish debate, it was pay again or go home! You don’t come all the way to Bath to not jump in a thermal bath. So in we went, changed into our robes and flip flops (know better than calling them thongs!), and finally into the thermal pools. Have to say, after so many weeks of travel and what felt like a trillion steps, the warm water and spa jets were heaven sent. Throw in an epic view over Bath and the place is relaxation personified. Too bad we had to share with a hundred other people… weren’t allowed to take pics so once again Google has come through with the goods, just add those hundred people to each pic… can’t imagine the squishiness of this place in peak season…

With our two hour relaxation window coming to an end, it was time to leave the beautiful Thermae pool and head back to reality. Somehow arriving at the train station early, usually it’s minutes to spare, we had time for a sneaky gin and to find a snacky dinner for our train ride. Waiting on the platform for the train, my lame arse sense of humour kicked in at the name of the train station… Bath Spa? Someone really lacked imagination when it came to naming things at this place!!

Once on the train, my lame arse salad was no competition for Kylie’s almond croissant and the leftover chocolate. Nearly caved but in my sleepy relaxation I couldn’t even be bothered eating chocolate. That has NEVER happened to me in my entire life… need a thermal pool at home… A train, two tubes and a bus later, we’re back in Brixton and another reality set in. It was my last night with my bestie and the last night galavanting around the UK. Uhhh, I don’t wanna, they can’t make me leave can they??

Sunday 20th January 2019.

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Give me my name back

Bath… I wonder what you were called before the Romans actually built the baths? Must have been lame if Bath was a better option…

Well after such illuminating thoughts, Kyles had to be a trooper and hunt down a pharmacy for me. I think my traveling tolerance is 3.5 weeks before I come down with a cold and feel shite… or it could have something to do with all the gin and diet of see food and you eat it… yeah nah…

Speaking of food, to go with the concoction of vitamins and who knows what else the pharmacist gave me, a healthy hearty brekkie was in order. I tried to order something with spinach and all those healthy things but the stars aligned and they were out… so it was back to the good ol’ bacon, eggs and smashed avo… although major food envy when Kylie’s corn fritters and halloumi amazingness arrived!

The things about besties is that they put up with all your quirks and nuances… like my new obsession with chimneys… and me yelling “tourist” every 5 steps, which means stop while I be a pain in the arse and take yet another picture! Thanks for putting up with me Kyles!!

So the thing about chimneys, I’m not even sure I can explain it, except to say it’s the thing missing from the Adelaide skyline, houses now in my mind look incomplete. I like how they are all lined up, yet each one is different and cute it its own way. Hmmm, what drugs did the pharmacist give me?!???

Doing what every person comes to Bath for, we hit up the Roman Baths acter brekkie. Being the off season, there was hardly a line up so we glided right on through… Not sure what I expected, knew we couldn’t swim in them but maybe I expected them to make me want to?? The architecture of course was stunning, Romans sure do know how to make a statement, maybe I expected more baths? But I guess the place is called Bath singular, not Baths… nevertheless, the history and majesty of it all was damn impressive. Oh and I also love moss, add that to my chimney lover weirdness…

Luckily for us dorks, we were the only ones that rocked up for the guided tour every hour on the hour so we had the lovely Beth* to ourselves. So obvs being a tour guide, Beth knew her stuff, and I wish I remembered some monumental historical facts she imparted on us. Instead I remember the weird and wonderful, like that you had to be hairless to use the baths so they would tweezer everyone…uh, I’m from an Italian family, I’ve seen an Italian man’s back, a million levels of pain to tweezer that rug. No wonder it was mainly women that went to the baths, even then, ouch… so in other useless facts I remember, when a sexist dude called Hadrian became emperor of Rome, he hated women’s bodies, and since every one went starkers at the baths, he mandated that men and women had to be segregated into different baths. Can’t imagine bathing with a room full of other naked people would be overly relaxing, but anyway… oh wait, she did say there was lots of wine and food, hmm, thinking this place should have been called orgy, I’ll put that in the suggestion box!

I can imagine back in the time, this place would have been something else to the local pommies! The Romans mastered underfloor heating, worshipped the god Minerva and believed these bubbling hot springs could cure diseases. Apparently they weren’t smart enough to figure out that if you put a heap of people with diseases in the same hot bath, maybe, just maybe those diseases might spread. Yeah, definitely don’t wanna swim in them anymore. Oh, and they are lined with lead. I’ll stick to my lame Aussie bath at home thanks, oh wait, I don’t have one… so the hilarious side of the baths, if there ever was one, are the curse cards. People would write curses and toss them into the baths, hoping the goddess would grant their wish for their worst enemies eye balls to pop out of their head, I kid you not. Those Romans were a vengeful lot.

Overall, a beautiful place that in its day, must have been bloody amazing! Oh, and that little bit of water they let you drink at the end, supposed to have super healing powers, taste like warm goblin piss. Ain’t that right madeye!

After a quick tourist stop to pick up some antiques…

…it was back to the room so Kyles could get online and prepped to buy tickets to Tomorrowland, a massive trance music festival in Brussels. I’m no where cool enough to attend. So the ticket process probs took a bit longer than planned but enough time for me to blog and catch up on what’s been happening across the pond. Tickets in hand and tears of joy, from Kylie cos she got tickets and me cos I was hungry and wanted dinner, we headed to a cool little joint around the corner called Stable, which caught our attention earlier in the day with this epic sign, love a good pun…

And oh my yum, a tasting thingo of cider, cheese fondue and a beef brisket pizza. At the time of ordering we hadn’t figured it was a pizza, just saw beef brisket and jumped in head first, as you do, but the pizza bit was a nice surprise, cos let’s be honest, carbs are delicious!!

Bellies full we wandered around the beautiful Bath and contemplated another pub crawl. Had there been a slither of space in our bellies, it might have happened but instead we made a quick pit stop then headed back to the room. No groupies tonight, just the best friends a girl could ask for called Cadbury and Lindt.

P.S. There’s ALWAYS space for chocolate!!

P.P.S. And here are the indulgent selfies, cos if there isn’t a selfie, were we ever really there???

Saturday 19th January 2019.

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Bath crawl

Waking up to Kyles already having put in a couple of hours working from home, it was nice to wander downstairs, make a coffee and know there was nothing urgent to do. Except eat my crappy cheescake and the Tesco chocolate cake for breakfast. For a £2 choccie cake, that was damn good! Today’s plan was to get away for a weekend in Bath. Next to Finland and York, it was the other place on my I Wanna Go To list. Having booked a cute Airbnb some time back when we first conceived the idea, we just needed to get there. Easy as. Download an App, put in times, book, pay, digital tickets. If only everything in life was this easy!! With some time on my hands I did what was supposed to be a quick check of work emails, to date there hadn’t been anything overly urgent or worthy of my attention when I don’t have to. Jeebus. Some shit had hit the fan at work and I spent the next few hours plugging away to try get things in order.

Once I’d calmed down and switched off Australia, it was time to prepare for my last weekend of holidays. Ugh. Yuck. Why do holidays have to end?? But are they actually holidays if you never go back to work? Maybe then it’s just life??

Anyhoo, while I’m flapping around Kyles is ever the professional working her butt off taking work calls, Skype meetings and just getting shit done. Once packed with my weekend kit, I felt the sugar crash and was desperate for anything green. Legging it to Sainsburys around the corner I bought a big bunch of broccoli to add to our dodgy pre-made supermarket salads. Probs the first healthy meal I’ve had since Kylie’s awesome Christmas roast. Not rolling in cash but rolling in other ways!

With a 4.30pm train trip, it was relax time – completely speaking for myself. The dedicated Kyles worked the whole two hour ride while I got my votes in for the Triple J Hottest 100. I really do lack any pics today so my top 10 list will have to do!! #1 Ocean Alley.

Walking out of the train station in Bath and it’s everything I expected, and then some! The 15 minute trek to our Airbnb took us past all the beautiful white sandstone buildings, cobbled streets and the quaint English pubs on every second corner. Once again I was the dork walking along muttering wow! Having gone the cheap room route for our Airbnb, I half expected a broom size closet in a dodgy back alley. Walking into our room at Romany Guest House, one of the gorgeous terrace buildings it was a mixture of relief and wow. Big old style Victorian room, our own beds, lounge chairs, telly and kettle. I think Kyles is getting sick of my sleep talking so happy for her she has her own bed for a change!!

Having already spied the cute pubs on the way through, it was an easy choice to pub crawl our way through Bath. It is after all only 50 meters between each pub and a convenient half circle of pubs surrounding our accommodation.

Our crawl took us from the fancy Green Park Brasserie to the The Bath Brew House where we both had the quintessential English dinner, ham, egg and chips, washed down with a beer. Kind of made having the broccoli for lunch redundant!

Next stop at Trinity Inn saw us pick up some groupies, two young English chaps, not yet of legal drinking age in the US, wanting to tag along on our crawl. One called Joe and the other some J name, they were kinda funny, young Joe had googly eyes for Kylie all night and wanted to take her on a date to the zoo. Oh bless, dates to zoos just don’t happen anymore. After hitting up The Cork, The Canon and The Gin Palace with our groupies, it was time to exit stage left. I think Kyles broke young Joe’s heart!

Friday 18th January 2019.

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