Geordie

Toon Town

Saturday 16th November – Thursday 21st November 2019

Having delayed my flights to stay in Maryland a little longer, my flight home was with two airlines I’d somehow never flown with, one I’d never heard of. The flight worth Spirit Airlines, a Tiger Airlines equivalent was fine, easy check in, window seat without having to fork out a small fortune and gorgeous views of clouds and a hell of an awesome view as we touched down in Florida.

Yes I know, you’re wandering why I’d go south from Baltimore only to fly north and East to London. All comes down to cashola, cheapest route! Anyhoo, the long haul leg with Norwegian was something of an experience. I didn’t fork out for an allocated seat so unfortunately got stuck middle row in between two rather large gentlemen who both claimed the arm rest before I could take a breathe, my bad. What I didn’t know was that for my 8 hour flight there would be no in flight meal, water came at a cost, as did a blanket and headphones for their entertainment system. I half expected them to charge for the air I was breathing. The service befitted the no frills. Needless to say I learnt my lesson, say NO to Norwegian… unless you’re broke but go prepared!!!

Enough whining, once in London with no sleep it was adrenaline that kept me going, into my storage locker to drop off my suitcase, exchange it for backpack only travel and get a very stinky me to Kings Cross to meet Kylie for lunch.

I wish I had a picture of Kylies beaming smile, something you really need in your life when you’re 30 hours with no sleep. Over a long lunch chatting away, the one glass of wine went to my head and before I knew it, I was running late for my train. And yes, I proved why it is called running late, well, cos you run… I did make it with seconds to spare, luckily Kylie checked the time otherwise I would have been sitting there blah blahing away and never have made it. Anyhoo, with a four hour train ride to Newcastle up my sleeve I tried to cross stitch… didn’t end well…

Arriving in the toon I was now well and truly sick as a dog, jet lagged AF, the poor Geordie who was on pick up duty got me to my hotel, I think. Must have cos I woke up there the next day, hello Newcastle!!

So for the next three days my Geordie friend who you’ve met before showed me the sights of the toon, had only really seen the pubs on my previous visits. I wish I could say I had some awesome stories and great info about Newcastle but being sick AF the entire time, I wrote nothing down and only have pictures to rely on, and there seems to be a day missing. Could it be that snap happy Holly was too sick to take a single photo for an entire 24 hours???

Anyhoo, what I do know is that there was definitively a visit to Laurel Park, the birthplace of the Laurel half of comedy duo Laurel and Hardy. I do remember the Geordie, being a wee bit older than me, explaining who the dude was… just needed my foggy memory regigging that’s all!!

Later that day as time stamps on my pictures tell me, we wandered along the river Tyne, way too many bridges for such a liddle town if you ask me. I thought the Geordie had planned the scenic route but just happened to be the way to the castle.

And no, it’s not a “New” castle as you’d expect from the name, a rather old castle in Newcastle, it wasn’t just all the Sudafed that confused me on that one! But I love me a castle, even if it wasn’t the one I meant I wanted to see when requesting my tour from the Geordie. Oops, still damn awesome castle, still not sure why it was me that ended up in the shackles…

Usually my favourite part of a castle is, well, the castle but this time the castle was outdone by the views from its roof out over the toon, ok, so maybe this place ain’t so liddle!!

So from the castle we made our way right into toon. Must have walked, no pics of how we got there. But we did find Christmas markets and a ski bar, an alpine village if you will. Pictures tell me it was pretty, and I do love a mulled wine so presume I liked that too. And there was a reason the Geordie wasn’t drinking but I really don’t recall.

We also ate dinner somewhere obvs but can’t for the life of me remember where or what. Let’s just get onto the next day which was part of the reason I made a visit to the toon, it was the Geordie’s birthday. He was 21 + 11 – 5 + 18 – 2 years old. Instead of getting schlacked on his birthday, the Geordie had actually planned something more spiritual. Funny how the Geordies don’t have another word for spiritual but a hundred and one for getting drunk… (all Geordie words that mean drunk). So the plan for the day was to head to Durham, a town an hourish away and see a lady who did, I want to say Kinetic, I keep calling it that, it’s not that, I’m on a plane and can’t google it, really really bugging me! Anyway, the lady did have a name, Shelley, the only way I remember is that I have her email address written in my phone. Oh yeah, before Durham, we had brekkie by the beach, by the castle I actually wanted to go to!! Must have been damn sick to not take photos of the beach and a castle!! As if I didn’t, maybe I deleted them accidentally?? Makes no sense. Back to Shelley and Durham. The town is a gorgeous little place, as evidence but this one crappy picture I took.

I’m convinced I deleted the pics, no matter how sick I am, I’d take photos. With the high Sudafed gives me, pretty sure I’d go nuts and take a million pictures of a single rock, but anyway. Durham was pretty, google it for pictures. We both met up with Shelley first for a general chat then I went for coffee while the Geordie had his Kinetic session… oh shit, just remembered the word, it’s reiki.. even laughing to myself, sounds nothing like kinetic!!! Massive anyhooooo, in my Sudafed stupor I did take a photo of my coffee. WTF?? Beautiful little town and I take a photo of the coffee?? Super annoyed with myself. I don’t have many pictures to add to this post so you’re gonna get a picture of my coffee. Costa coffee, great name, crappy taste, maybe I should do their marketing???

So my reiki session isn’t something I needed to write notes about. Even all drugged up on Sudafed I remember it like it was yesterday. I’ll try my best to explain but know it won’t do it justice! So you lay down on like a massage table, but clothes on and on your back. You’re covered with warm towels so you feel pretty damn cosy and calm, maybe I should sleep on a massage bed, I remember how comfortable I was. Shelley doesn’t say much, just some general calming words about relaxing and letting go. What I remember feeling was a surge of positivity, voices in my head (my own, I’m not crazy, much…), telling me that I got this, everything is going to be ok, I can be the best version of myself, it was time for a new start. It was the most positive my own voice has ever been, out loud and in my head. During this Shelley just had her hands cupping my head, they stayed there for a while then moved to rest firmly on my stomach. And that’s it. I know you’re probably like huh?? That’s it?? But if I could explain the energy going through me, well, I would. I tried but there aren’t words, or at least none that I can find. Off the table and sitting on the couch with Shelley, she explained what she felt in me. She felt an intense sadness. Couldn’t have said it better myself. Of course I sooked cos when someone points out something about you that you have to work hard every day to overcome, you feel like they see you. It’s not that I’m sad all the time or that sadness overrides happiness, I think anyone who has had someone they love intensely die, and in tragic circumstances, there’s a sadness that always sits inside you, alongside all the happiness and joy you feel the majority of the time. As I read somewhere, you don’t get over losing someone you love, you just learn to live with it. That was my sadness that Shelley felt. But the thing about reiki and Shelley is that it’s all about love and healing. I may not have written down my adventures in the toon but I did write down suggestions from Shelley on how I can work on healing. And yes, being a student of psychology and a recipient, this is the spiritual healing side of things. I do believe you need both, and funnily enough, or not, there are a lot of similarities in their suggestions on how to heal. Her suggestion was that I write a letter to younger Holly telling her what she needs to help her heal, and make a little shrine to myself, practice some self love. With reiki it’s all about love and I’m onboard with that!! But most importantly, I am to visualise my future and put it out there into the universe what I want it to be. There were some other things we discussed but kinda way personal so I’ll just leave it there and get onto the angel cards reading!! No idea what the hell they are about?? Not the same as tarot, tarot aren’t nice, these are a deck of cards with specific angels and meanings to help guide you. Mine looked like this:

I’m not embarrassed to say this was not my first time with angel cards. When Brett died I saw a medium, she knew things I can never explain, I believe in the after life, that there’s more. She also read my cards. The messages from my cards this time were about finding a way to love and forgive myself. Won’t go into it but this is my biggest challenge. And I need to heal as well as accept. Second biggest challenge. Lots more she said but a belief I know I need to work on is that that things don’t happen to me, they happen for me. That’ll take some time but I have hope I’ll get there!

So after our reading and wiping the mascara off my face, we bought some local charcoal cheese that came highly recommended from Shelley and headed back to the toon. With a pit stop at some store, a big one, we gathered our cheese board for dinner and dug in. And no, I didn’t get a picture of the charcoal cheese! But this did pop up in my Instagram feed, maybe the universe is trying to tell me something??

The next day was up early and off on a train to Gatwick, more specially to Peterborough then onto Gatwick. The morning wasn’t anything to write home about, just lots and lots of snot!!!!

January 20, 2020 0

Corfuuu, not Corfew…

Thursday 22nd August – Monday 26th August 2019

Corfu baby!! And it’s pronounced Cor-fu, not Cor-few like us Aussie bogans like to call it. Have to admit, I did nothing to help book or plan this trip, the fate of my first Greek adventure is in the hands of Kyles and the Geordie…

Thursday morning was spent living the jobless life which is pretty darn good so far… coffee, shower, coffee, apply for jobs, coffee, apply for house sits, coffee, pack, coffee…

With the Geordie driving us to Gatwick and Kyles somehow doing work on her laptop in the back, it was up to me to try convince him that Gang of Youths is THE best band in the world right now. Followed closely by Ocean Alley. For a dude who’s musical preferences are Elvis and Sinatra, I had a battle on my hands!!

Finally at Gatwick waaay early cos the peeps I’m with are super organised, I continued to be a sheep and just follow. Is it then my fault that we ended up in a tapas bar drinking wine and eating hommus while our flight was delayed?? Possibly. After putting up with some ignorant loud twats in the bar, it was Corfuuuuu here we come. Unfortunately it was an easyJet flight who are the Tiger Airlines of Australia. Flights ALWAYS late, charge you just to breathe the air on the plane… but who needs air when there’s wine?!?! How do a Geordie, blonde and funny Sheila entertain themselves on a flight???

A touchdown, customs in the worlds smallest airport and a taxi ride later and woo hoo, we’re in Corfu!! Already “happy” from an eventful flight it was a case of drop the bags, get pretty and head out to hunt down a DJ Kyles had heard about. Didn’t find the DJ but did find an epic waterside bar with a dance floor. Kyles being the friendly one of the bunch, she made friends with the locals. Unfortunately they couldn’t understand a word coming out of the Geordie’s mouth!!

We may have lost track of time and returned to the hotel around 2am (give or take a few hours, ok give…) to find it locked and wine consumption hindering our ability to work out how the hell to get in. After some bickering and tense words, the doorman on duty let us in. The rest of what happened that night is definitely a case of what happens on tour stays on tour. Ask no questions I tell no lies…

How to describe Friday… sunshine, beautiful city, delicious food, great company… or I could be honest… hangover, 36 degree heat, sweat, grumpy Holly and three people hardly talking because we overslept and missed the ferry to Albania. I should have been more empathetic to Kyles, going to Albania was the main reason we made the trip to Corfu, she was beyond disappointed. Unfortunately I was a shit friend that instead stuffed my face full of pancakes and bacon and could hardly string a sentence together on account of the banging in my head. NEVER DRINKING WINE AGAIN!!! There was a reason I switched to gin. The bacon kinda helped, as it always does. So did eating half of Kylie’s…

Putting on a brave face and trying not to waste a beautiful day in Corfu before heading to Sidari, we wandered the old town, took in the bloody beautiful sites and I avoided any photo evidence of my hangover… note the lack of my ever present selfies…

With Kyles disappointed, the Geordie thirsty and me, well, being a grumpy pain in the arse if I’m honest, we decided the best bet was to jump on the bus to Sidari, drop our stuff in the room then wash off the hangover in the sparkling ocean. For a day where nothing went to plan, of course Google maps doesn’t like Corfu and the ten minute walk to the bus station turned into an hour trek through Corfu’s cobbled hilly streets in 36 degree heat dragging a suitcase. I tried to put on a brave face, as soon as we hit the bus station I shoved ice cream and cold coke into my dehydrated hungover body then face planted on the table for a nap, leaving Kyles to ponder for the next two hours whether she still wanted to be my friend. The Geordie found a different bus stop, the one with a pub of course!! So apparently the bus ride to Sidari is gorgeous, wouldn’t know, said face planting on the bus station table transitioned to face planting on the bus window. I’d stay stop rolling your eyes Mum but have a feeling there is plenty more of that to come…

Arriving in Sidari, it looked like old school Greece. Pink houses, olive trees, hills and concrete gardens. Wogs love their concrete. Being a sheep and following my Shepard’s to the accommodation, I have to admit I was dubious, as much as a thumping headache would allow anyway. The slightly unkept road was sparse, with a few massive double story Greek houses with pools. Apparently that’s how they roll in Sidari. Rocking up at Maria’s, the Geordie’s name was written on a piece of paper and stuck to an open apartment door, guess that one’s ours??? I think there was some sort of check in process, wouldn’t know, I found a bed and an air conditioner and was out for the count. I woke at 8pm to the snores of a Geordie, Kyles on the other hand hadn’t wasted the day, she’d found the beaches, town centre and watched the sunset, found the beach bars and indulged in a cocktail or two. Grumpy Holly turned into disappointed Holly for wasting the short time we had in Greece. But we got our shit together and Kyles took us to an epic beach bar over looking the ocean, suave tunes and a Greek waiter that was confused about it currently being winter in Australia. A gin cocktail and Gyros later and happy Holly had returned, tail between her legs for being a grumpy hangover arse. On our journey back to Maria’s, the sound of the Zorba drew us into a local where a Greek god was dancing, needless to say we convinced the Geordie to stay and watch… yeah, dude from 50 Shades of Grey but hotter and with a Greek accent… no words…

Starting the next day with a clear head and a need to redeem the grump from the previous day, I joined Kyles by the pool for the first of many cocktail and chill sessions. The Geordie earnt brownie points by getting me ice cream for breakfast. Ok, we’ll keep him. Wish I could say the rest of the day was filled with culture, adventure and embracing Greek tradition. The most culture I got was a second serving of gyros and Mythos beer… but when you have this setting, what else is there to do except cocktail and chill?? BTW, it’s pronounced yee-ros, kinda like we say it in RADelaide, not guy-rows like a certain Aussie bogan ordered it!!

Cocktail and chill is all good unless you’re Kylie who has ants in her pants and within 5 minutes of me tucking into my meaty goodness had booked us in for an afternoon of parasailing… sure, why the hell not!!! Parasailing has to be one of my all time favourite things in the world to do. Being launched into the sky to breeze over beautiful scenery with a dip in the ocean. Could have stayed up there forever had it not been for the harness causing an epic wedgie! Kyles who was strapped on behind me had one worse, and had to guide us into landing as well, of course she did it like a pro!! Wish I could have taken pics of the sights up there, can’t stop smiling just thinking of it. The Geordie stayed grounded and was designated photographer, scared of heights maybe??? May have found a weakness…

On a high from well, literally being high, we sunbaked for 0.5 seconds and then were off again, cocktails in hand and onto this masterpiece of fun!!! A paddle boat WITH a slippery dip, I never knew such magnificence existed!!! The dude wasn’t bad either…

A little worried Kylie might want to try paddle to Albania, I took the wheel (it was a stick) and steered us around the coast, past the buoy for Crazy Shark and out into the beautiful Adriatic Sea (may have had to google that!). Somehow warm water negates my fear of sharks cos we hurled down the slippery dip and into way too deep to touch water for hours without a care in the world. Or maybe it was the cocktails?? Either way it was so much bloody fun, think maybe I should start a business adventure and bring paddle slides to RADelaide!!

We may have been a little overambitious with our paddling out and around the coast, forgetting we had to paddle back. Needless to say we did make it to shore cos I’m here to tell the tale!! With Saturday already being 200% better than the hangover the day before, we indulged the Geordie and headed to the local watering hole where all the Brits in Sidari had assembled to watch England take on Ireland in the football, or soccer, or maybe it was rugby??? The dudes had squished faces so must have been rugby… in any case, the Geordie proceeded to make friends with the poms in the pub and before we knew it, Paul and Gail from Wales were coming on our sunset walk, wait a minute, they’re Welsh, I’m confused… long story short, England annihilated Ireland (apparently), was kinda nice to be barracking for the same team as the Geordie for a change cos heaven knows he has bad taste in soccer and cricket. So two aussies, two Welshmen and a Geordie set off on a walk… sounds like the start of a joke… the joke is that the secret sunset viewing location that Kyles led us to was quite literally on the deck of our Welsh friends hotel, yeah, they were kinda loaded… while they headed to the bar, we took in one of the most beautiful sites I’ve had the chance to behold, sunset over the cliffs in Corfu… no words…

After staring into the sunset and getting a little emo in our thoughts, we joined our new friends on the deck of their hotel, about 10 steps away. This Geordie knows how to pick his friends, our two new friends were on all inclusive packages at their hotel and proceeded to bring us all beer after beer after beer after beer… all free. I decided to like beer.

After chatting away with our new mates and over staying our welcome we wandered back to Maria’s which paled in comparison to the sunset deck hotel but who cares, it’s about the company right?? Not five star resorts right??? On our trek back Kyles desire for squid side tracked us, not that we argued, eating, drinking and sun baking seems to be what Sidari is all about! I tried to be traditional and ordered moussaka, I would have taken a pic but as normal my hunger got the better of me, annihilated it in record time… slippery dips and paddling works up a hell of an appetite… I’ll just keep telling myself that… Back at the apartment there was somehow space for chocolate and one more drink, as there always is… sitting on our balcony overlooking the pool, we were the ignorant loud twats, taking it in turns to play our favorite tunes. Kyles played techno dance music from Tomorrowland, Nora player Elvis, AC/DC, Sinatra and I was on it with Aussie rock gods, Amy Shark, Gang of Youths and Silverchair, could you get more different musical tastes???? How are we even friends??

With Sunday funday being our last whole day in Sidari, Kyles and I left the Geordie asleep and made our best efforts to do something cultured, drinking and sun baking didn’t quite feel like the authentic Greece experience. Still being earlyish, we stopped by the tour center to see if there was anything we could do that day. No tours available. We considered getting a taxi to the monastery but it was 70 euro, that’s $140 Aussie one way, fark. Went to the car and scooter hire place, can’t hire a car or a scooter without an international drivers license, FFS!! There was literally NOTHING to do besides eat, drink and sunbake… when life gives you lemons, make a gin and tonic… and that’s what we did!!! Gyros, cocktails and sun baking.

Needless to say Kylie was bored after two minutes so went shopping and returned with a unicorn, flamingo and donut, of the floaty variety!!! Yeah, floating in the ocean on a donut with a cocktail, doesn’t get much more perfect. Kyles obvs has the unicorn and why the Geordie ended up with the flamingo made us question more than his aversion to heights. To his credit, or possibly his drunkedness, we managed to convince him to join us for more paddle slide action, this time with our unicorn, flamingo and donut in tow. Somehow I managed the luxury of dangling my feet in the water while the other two paddled their arses off to get us out to sea, and possibly halfway to Albania?!? More slippery dip action, Nora for some reason wouldn’t partake, no idea why. Geez that was fun, there really is nothing like swimming in the ocean. With a slippery dip. And a cocktail. And a donut. And music. And besties!!

With the Geordie desperate to watch his team lose at the soccer, (he keeps calling it football, doesn’t he know what real football is????) we headed back to shore. Somewhere in the afternoon, I had a nap on the deck chair, Kyles hired a kayak and the Geordie went to watch the soccer. All fun but I was napping so can’t comment on whether they had fun?!?! This really is a bit of a one sided story… after more floating and more cocktails and more food, we wrapped ourselves in our floaties and walked back to the hotel to ready ourselves for dinner, cos we needed more food and drinks right?? With the Geordie still preoccupied with soccer, Kyles and I found a candlelit beach side restaurant for our romantic dinner. Half way into our dinner of ribs, chicken and seafood, the Geordie made an appearance. Not sure whether it was him being clumsy or payback for my grumpy behaviour Friday but I ended up wearing a frozen cocktail in my lap and down my front. Knowing the Geordie, just clumsy!!! In all honesty though, I was beat. With sticky clothes and feet I headed back to the room to sleep and the other two headed off to meet our Welsh friends for karaoke. Anyone that has heard me sing knows I made the right choice. They had an awesome night, as did I, sometimes sleep is the best medicine, or I’m just getting old… feel free not to comment on that one!!

Somehow even with 5 times the amount of sleep than the other two, I woke Sunday feel like crapola, maybe just knowing our holiday in Sidari was over, no wait… I’m permanently on holiday, no reason for feeling like crap, go back to that old age excuse?? Anyways, we got our shit together and onto the 7am bus back to Corfu, this time I kept my eyes open as the bus wound through too tiny streets and across an absolutely beautiful countryside that seemed to epitomise Greek countryside once again, pink houses, tractors, trees, rolling hills, and men sitting in their shorts drinking coffee outside cafes. Can’t believe I was a mattress head and missed it the first time!

Jumping off the bus in Corfu, we knew better than to try rely on Google maps to get us to the airport so instead gave it an easy job, find us food!! Pretty sure it was Kylie not Google that found us a little cafe run by the most charming gentleman, he seemed to take a liking to me, took me inside the cafe to show me the eggs his chickens laid and somehow I managed to order us breakfast. No menu, he was just bringing us breakfast!! Eggs, sausage, cheese, ham, smooshed beans, crusty bread, tomato, cucumber and dead horse, Kyles had to explain that one to the Geordie!! The traditional Greek coffee was strong as hell with what seemed like mud, yummy mud, at the bottom. Pretty sure that coffee got me through the next 3 days!! Heading off, awesome Greek cafe dude pointed us in the direction of the taxi rank, and offered to drive us if we couldn’t find one. He also gave me a massive hug which was sweet. Maybe they don’t get many blondes in Corfu??

We did manage to jump in a cab and finally get back to the worst airport in the world – ok, probs not the worst but certainly tiny and full of lines. A line to get into the airport (like through the front door), 45 minute line for bag drop, line through security, line through passport control, line for the loo, line for boarding, line to get onto the bus to the plane, line to get onto the plane… doesn’t help I have a talent to pick the slowest line. Finally on the plane, all seated separately cos it’s easyJet, the family between Nora and I were nice enough to swap seats so we could sit together. Lucky me, got to fulfill my life long ambition of being a pillow…but an asleep Geordie is the best kind!!

Back to Brixton at last and we were well and truly pooped, the Geordie had a 5 hour drive back to Newcastle, Kyles had to get ready for work the next day and me, I had a day of adulting planned!!

September 4, 2019 0

Happy birthday to me!!!

Sunday 18th August 2019

All credit to Kylie, I was quietly trying to ignore my birthday as I do every year but the lovely lady organised a birthday/welcoming party of her nearest and dearest to help celebrate my day. We also let the Geordie tag along. We still can’t seem to shake him…

After Facetime calls from home, smiling like I hadn’t just drank Connor out of all the gin in England, we headed off for our afternoon destination, the Mercato Markets. Like me, you’re probs thinking markets aren’t really where you’d expect to have birthday drinks, am I right?? Once again, the Brits kick our arse when it comes to markets. Add a gin distillery, a brew house, an epic beer garden and food stalls from every corner of the globe and you have the Mercato Markets. Bloody brilliant place to spend a birthday, even for a grinch like me!! And there were ribs, which after bacon are the easiest way to make me happy… my birthday in summary: eat, drink, laugh, repeat… fingers crossed for many more birthday repeats to come!!

So now to the serious stuff. Taking stock of your life on your birthday can be dangerous, or fulfilling. I’m somewhere in between. I’m now hitting late thirties and in all honesty, I’m not in the place I thought I’d be. And I don’t mean the UK. I’m not embarrassed to admit that I wanted the fairytale life. Meet the man of my dreams, fall in love, have a family, travel and just be overwhelmingly happy. There’s a reason all the fairytales finish with the man and woman falling in love then the line “they lived happily ever after” thrown in for good measure. It’d be too scary for little girls everywhere if they actually showed you all the bumps in the road and curve balls between falling in love and the happily ever after. I am lucky enough to have been in love, honestly and truly three times. One died and the other two just didn’t want the same things in life. People have different fairytales. Am I hopeful there’s more love in the future?? Yes and no. I would like for it to happen again, there’s no better feeling in the world than holding the person you love, ok maybe having kids feels better?? And bacon with avo is pretty damn good…. I’ve already been lucky enough to experience all that, possibly more so than other people have so I’m not holding my breathe for that feeling again. I’m not going to revolve my life around finding my person, I’m going to revolve it around me. Sounds narcissistic, I know. And I have been told lately that I make everything about myself, character flaw. I guess what I mean is that my world is going to revolve around being happy with who I am, where I am and being alone. If someone comes along and adds to that happiness, then great but I’m not counting on it. So yeah I’m getting older and the fairytale hasn’t worked out how I thought it would, but maybe I’ll write a new fairytale for little girls, one that says you’ll fall in love, you might lose the person you love but you’ll be ok. Love the person you are and surround yourself with people that love that person too. Do that and you’ll live happily every after. Cue the line “And SHE lived happily ever after”.

Yeah, that was a bit lame but whatevs… it’s my birthday and I can be lame if I want to…

August 29, 2019 0

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!!!

Thursday 15th August – Saturday 17th August 2019

Well, well, well… wake up on your first day of a new chapter of your life, in a new country with all the hope and opportunities laying ahead… you’d expect one to leap out of bed with anticipation and excitement… not lay in bed til midday watching The Bachelor and eating leftover pizza… one isn’t me! The only thing that got me out of bed in my jet lagged state was the imminent arrival of the Geordie, otherwise known as Pattie, otherwise known as Davie, otherwise known as Nora…

I’m trying to remember what we did that Thursday but all I remember is somehow making our way to Garrick Theatre in the West End to see Bitter Wheat, a play about I don’t know what cos I fell asleep starring John Malkovich, one of the most epic, amazing, brilliant actors of our time, if you don’t know who he is then we shouldn’t be friends. But then I did fall asleep on the legend so I’ll forgive you! There was also a seafood feast before but pretty sure I just ate bread, don’t ask me, I don’t remember… the only thing I recall is the sore neck at the end of the night from falling asleep in my lap… the show was Malkovich impersonating the Harvey Weinstein story, apparently it was real good…

So Friday, a distant hazy memory of not so quite awakedness… there was bacon, at a really cool place in Clapham. Hmmm, what else?? Bacon always tends to take the starring role. Oh that’s right, there was an epic Bloody Mary with vegemite and bacon in it!! The Geordie was there too dealing with my jet lagged sparkling personality.

With an epic Ashes day looming, it was time to get our Aussie on. Of course I could have brought my Aussie bandana, Aussie flag or Aussie bikini from home but no, they are packed in a box somewhere! Between following the Geordie around while he searched for cricket outfit (?!?!?), I managed to find three cheap as chips Aussie rugdby tops, we can wear them to the cricket right? Same same??? The Geordie obvs loved the tops…

With a house full of guests on a Friday night, Kyles was obvs excited to head out and enjoy a night on the town. You can imagine her dismay to find a Geordie and an Aussie fat arming it on the couch when she walked through the door. Not even Korean fried chicken from UberEats could turn that frown upside down. Don’t blame her though, we were pretty damn lame! First Friday night in London and my eyelids were needing toothpicks to stay open.

Onto the main event. The Ashes. Six months in the making, a random ticket draw later and Kyles and I… failed to get tickets… luckily for us and not so lucky for Adam Tanshevcholovamolotov who couldn’t make it so we got one spare, then bless Pete, he couldn’t make it either so Kyles and I were in!! One of us was excited beyond belief to be going to the most iconic cricket stadium in the world to see a legendary battle fought throughout the ages, the other just hoped there was gin. Tough decision which one I was!!!

Thinking back on it cos there’s no way I could have written this on the day, it kinda feels like magic. I grew up idolising my grandad. He was a strong, fit, caring and amazing man. And he loved his cricket. In the days of Ponting and Bevan we would watch the one day internationals on the edge of our seats when Bevan would smash a four off the final ball to win the match. And while I wasn’t a big fan of test matches, i was a 14 year old girl with the attention span of a toddler, his absolute admiration of the Ashes elevated them to legendary status. He would explain to me the strategy, the rules of the gentleman’s game. Thinking of those days makes me smile. My grandad is no longer with us but walking up to Lord’s in my Aussie colours I knew he’d be proud. Believe what you will, I could feel him with me.

After a bakery stop to meet up with our fellow Aussie Melsey and stuff our faces with sausage rolls, the Geordie was well and truly outnumbered as we made our way to the icon. The crew were already sick of my overexcited selfies but kindly obliged for the 100th time as we rounded the corner of the stadium…

So the one thing the Brit’s have over the Aussie’s when it comes to cricket, besides Root who would soon become my favourite player, I am a British Citizen after all… the thing they have over us is that they let you take drinks into the cricket, and not just water. Everyone is allowed a bottle of wine, a couple of premixers or lagers. These Brit’s now how to do cricket.

And finally I was into the home of cricket. Ain’t fake smiling in this one…

Or this one…

Before taking our seats for kick off, I mean the first ball, we just happened to find a gin bar and all kinds of gin goodness, fever tree and Connor… this is Connor, he was to be our bar tender for the day… we had no complaints, dude poured a good gin…

And finally, up the mighty staircase to a view to behold, Lord’s… it was ok… understatement of the century…

Unfortunately, Kyles and Melsey managed to bag seats together, the Geordie and I were each on our lonesome, not that I minded. Quiet time to take in the sights was kinda cool.

After a few overs it was gin o’clock. After being able to relocate next to Nora the rest of the afternoon consisted of sunshine, gin and checking the real “football” scores. Unfortunately it wasn’t a good day for Port and only a half decent day for the Aussies.

One of my highlights of the day was being able to hit a cricket ball on the ground at Lord’s. And by ground I mean grass, on the outer, not on the actual grounds with 100,000 people watching… still cool nonetheless, reckon I got a few sixers…

Another highlight, food court cricket. What is that you say?? Give a bunch of larikins a green bin, a bat, a ball and you got food court cricket. And then out came the sandpaper!!! The thing I love about aussies is our ability to ourselves shit. It was all fun and games until a Sheila hit Kylie smack bang in the chest… but she took it like the tough Aussie she is, the gin’s Connor had been dealing out may have helped with that…

Although the rain may have ended the day prematurely, only by about half hour though, it was a day to go down in the history books. Well mine anyway. Chatting to people in the crowd, seeing the Aussies hit fours (no sixes) and seeing Steve Smith nearly get a century, out on 92. Tough luck, but then he is a cheater so not feeling so bad about that one.

After such an epic day and to avoid a crowded as hell tube, we tried our best to hit up the local St John’s Wood (yes, that’s the name of a suburb 😂😂) but we were done, once again to Kylie’s dismay. Saturday night and the Geordie and Aussie just wanted fried chicken and couch time. I was still jet lagged, not sure what his excuse was…

So homeward bound, KFC pick up on the walk home and what should have been fried goodness on the couch was disappointment on the couch, KFC is not the same here, so much oilier and where the hell is the chicken, think I just ate battered bones… anyhooo… they don’t call it dirty chicken for nothing…

Until next time, bucket list item ticked and one hell of a start to my life in London. I think it was when I was climbing the stairs at midnight that Kyles called out Happy Birthday wishes… that’s right, I’m now one year older, ugh….

August 25, 2019 0

The Hangover

Didn’t wake up with a random baby and face tattoo but the details of the previous night were rather sketchy… explains yesterday’s rather short blog post.

Nothing like burgers and cheesy fries to cure a hangover. And copious amount of Pepsi. And Pringles. And Toblerone. No wonder my pants are splitting.

Quick tour of the Newcastle beaches before farewelling Pattie and back on the train to London ready for the 5am wake up call…

Cheers Newcastle, we’re paggered from neets on the toon but aye, ye was propa bonny and us lass’s had a belta time. Did I get it right Pattie??

Sunday 30th December 2018.

December 30, 2018 0

Noocasle

Not an overly eventful day, spot of shopping in the city, picked up the most beautiful pair of shoes I’ve ever seen in my life – forgetting that £79 isn’t actually a bargain.

But just driving and walking around Newcastle, there are old churches, spectacular architecture and of course, a damn Castle in the city center so of course every moment is amazing. I love cities in Europe, so much history and beauty on every corner.

So thank goodness for the ease of the day, the night was the complete opposite. Geordie wedding party, just asking for a gincident. Headed out to Sunderland and caught up with Patties mates for the wedding party of Louise and Elliot. Felt a little awkward before rocking up, not having actually met the couple but needn’t have – amazing couple and awesome group of people. Dancing, drinking, eating, drinking and walking/crawling through the hotel door at 6 something am…

Saturday 29th December 2018.

December 30, 2018 0

#castlechallenge

Bacon buttys are heaven. Bread. Yum. Egg. Yum. Cheese. Yum. BBQ sauce. Yum. Bacon. Yummers. Recovery food of champions, or the severely hungover.

After Star Wars and bacon, there were castles. What started as popping by Alnwick Castle turned into the castle challenge – how many castles can we visit in one day??

The answer is 6, not including the halloumi castle…

First stop, Alnwick Castle, just don’t be an Aussie and pronounce the l ie the w or you’ll get a swift hiding from the Geordie locals. Being the place where Harry learnt to fly, had to wear my overpriced Gryffindor jumper, also because it was cold AF.

Second stop, Chillingham Castle where the sunshine turned it on, apparently I bought the weather with me… always thought I was more of a storm…

Then onto my equal favourite, Lindisfarne Castle on Holy Island. It was like stepping into a movie about King Arthur or the crusades. The road over can only be used when the tide goes out, and damn be sure not to be driving back across when the tide comes in… didn’t get right up to the castle but the priory ruins and cemetery were stunning, so much history, could feel the lost souls.

Next was Bamburgh Castle, looked like the Red Keep from Game of Thrones and of course getting all excited again about seeing Jon Snow for reals…

Haloumi Castle was by far my favourite. The deep fried roast chicken not so much…

Warkworth Castle was a quick pit stop, then onto Tynemouth Priory and Castle. Really was all castled our but in awe of being able to leg it around in a few hours and see so many. Can’t think of another place in the world where that’s possible, lucky poms.

The nights plans to head out on the toon in the Georgie Shore quickly turned into a snooze fest, quite literally. Ten minutes into a movie on the couch and Kyles and I were catching zzzz’s.

Friday 28th December 2018.

December 30, 2018 0

Lush aye?

A jet lagged Holly and hungover Kylie catching a 9am train to Newcastle, what could go wrong?

How about splitting the seam of my pants along the butt while in the middle of King’s Cross Station, standing for the 3 hour train ride or realising you’re going to end up on a fetish YouTube channel when the sign on the mirror in the train toilet says “go on, give us a smile”… and I didn’t even find platform nine and three quarters…

Wasn’t all bad, coffee and truffle eggs in a cup saved the day and my sanity.

Good things come from the Aussie Newcastle, like my favourite band, so pretty high expectations and looking back the day after, it didn’t disappoint.

Having being renamed Sheila and Matilda by our man Pattie, it was my chrissie present of Roger’s Profanisaurus that set the scene for the night to come.

Two Aussie lass’s out drinking with the lads of Newcastle. The before shot…

Quickly realised gin wasn’t the reason I couldn’t understand the lads, they have a Geordie language of their own and it’s the most entertaining damn thing I’ve ever heard, and not understood…

Aye pet, that’s bollocks, gan to toon ta get mortal… cue staring blankly…

Needless to say the pub crawl through Tynemouth was epic with little photo evidence so well and truly, what happens in Tynemouth, stays in Tynemouth… especially since asking one of the lads to take a picture of you and your bestie ends up with a camera roll of this….

Two Aussie lass’s out drinking with the lads of Newcastle. The after shot…

Thursday 27th December 2018.

December 28, 2018 0

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