Having already slept through one tour, I sure as hell wasn’t going to miss another. But after emailing real estate agents, stylists and property managers I was against the clock and was running between trains to make my 9am pick up at George Square in the centre of Glasgow. I did manage to take 5 seconds to make a mental note of how gorgeous the square was, on the list for tomorrow’s adventures.
Having only booked the tour with Rabbies the day before, a company I knew nothing of, I was a bit skeptical as to whether a) it was a legit tour and b) whether it would go all the places promised. Absolute relief when I ran around the corner to see a Rabbies mini van waiting. Inside, only two people, a German couple who spoke little English plus our tour guide Stuart who had a glorious Scottish accent, how the German couple understood a word out of his mouth I have no idea. Being an introvert I was kinda relieved that I wouldn’t have to make small talk with people I didn’t know, that I could just sit back and enjoy the tour. Probs why I don’t have many friends…
Stuart was funny as hell, pretty sure humour is part of the Scottish DNA. I did make the mistake of saying I preferred Edinburgh to Glasgow, never tell a weegie that, you’ll get left on the side of the road, nearly… oh a weegie, what people call the local Glaswegians… the dork in me just thought it was too close to wedgie and got into a giggle fit, they unfortunately are part of my families DNA.
On the way to Stirling Castle I learnt the most important Gaelic saying, “Slainte Mhath”, sounds like slanger va, the Gaelic language is stranger than Geordie… anyway, it means Cheers. Next to “where’s the toilets?”, the most useful thing to know in any language! Stu was full of other info about Glasgow, a nerd like me laps it up. Glasgow used to be the second biggest city in the UK after London, mainly due to tobacco imports and shipbuilding. It used to have over 40 shipyards and famous ships like the QEII, Queen Mary and the Britannia were built in Glasgow. But NOT the Titanic, built in Belfast, Ireland. And if you ask the Irish, they built it, an Englishman sunk it! So apparently Margaret Thatcher is the reason Glasgow declined from the 60’s, weegie’s say she hated Scotland so she closed all the manufacturing plants and purposely saw it fall into decline, how can someone possibly hate Scotland?!? But I guess they don’t call her the Iron Lady for nothing. Jump to now, only 4 shipbuilders are left in Glasgow. Kinda thought the invention of planes might have affected the shipbuilding industry but eh, what do I know.
So what else did the fabulous Stu have to tell about the half dodgy Glasgow? Apparently there’s amazing shopping, all the high end stores people travel from all over for. Too bad I’m broke… Two of the biggest “football” teams in the UK, the Celtics and the Rangers are from Glasgow. Too bad I don’t like soccer (love the real football!).
After an information overload, we did a quick stop for pics of Stirling Castle from afar before heading up the hill. Shameless selfie day. Thanks to the wind for making me look even more shite..
Being the off season in all of the UK, I was the first visitor into Stirling Castle that day. The German couple disappeared in the other direction?!? The free guided tour seemed like the go, and for the first 5 minutes I was the only person on the tour, knowledgeable Scottish guide all to myself to ask all the silly questions, awesome sauce! But the excitement was short lived, about 10 Americans then joined the tour. Ugh, year of not caring so will ask the silly questions anyway, if I can get a damn word in! Can’t remember the tour guides name so let’s call him Duncan, Dunc had the patience of a saint, I would have locked the Americans in the dungeon 10 minutes into the tour… Dunc was another awesome and funny Scottish dude, knew all the things about the Castle, but then I guess that is his job… quick run down on what I can remember about Stirling Castle, feel like I should use dot points but that would be waaay nerdy, here goes anyway: no one knows exactly when the castle was built but there are stories of it being THE Camelot from the King Arthur stories (coolies!!!!!); If you controlled the castle and the bridge across the river below, you controlled Scotland, being the first visitor, does that mean I controlled Scotland for a microsecond??? Hmm…; William Wallace (i.e. Braveheart) took the Castle momentarily during his reign/crusade/rebellion; the Bonnie Prince Charles (yep, from the Outlander series) tried to take the castle but was way too polite to the locals and agreed to not put his canons in the church and instead chose to bomb the castle from an open field right in front of the castle’s fort armed with a line of 8 cannons, yeah, that worked out well…; uh, lots of Kings called James owned the castle and added bits and pieces all over the place to try impress their queens; and finally, the castle was used by the British Army for ages and they totally stuffed it up, knocking down all the good bits and making it their own personal man cave; then the people who care about history stepped in and restored it to its previous glory. Noice. The thing I learnt about Scotland that was most intriguing, the unicorn is their national animal!! All the Royal symbols in the castle were adorned with unicorns, a symbol of purity and innocence. And according to the fake maiden in the castle, as rare as true love!! Pretty sure both are a myth. But in saying that, I did meet my knight in shining armour….
Back on the bus and we’re off to our lunch stop while winding past lochs and the most gorgeous Scottish countryside. Could have stopped every 5 seconds for a pic. The town of Stirling itself is picture perfect, all those beautiful cottages and quaint streets you see on Moving to the Country. Like the town of Stirling in Adelaide, it costs a pretty penny to live there. First place we actually stopped, Loch Venachar. I think we just call them lakes in Australia but a Loch is so much cooler… and this one, breathtaking. I’m in love with Scottish trees, Scottish water, Scottish grass (the stuff on the ground), love everything Scottish. Raw beauty.
Back on the bus (dance move of the day) and still heading to lunch, another little stop at Loch Achary… this place could not possibly get any more beautiful. I feel like maybe in another life I was a Scottish Highlander, just feel like this place is home. Like when I’m at the beach, I can exhale. And I LOVE Scottish cows, from a purely admirable perspective, although I did wonder how tasty the would be…
And yep, you guessed it, back on the bus with next stop the village of Aberfoyle. Hoping it’s nothing like the Aberfoyle Park in South Australia because let’s be honest, that place is a shit hole! Aberfoyle in Scotland is of course gorgeous. Dining by myself at Fairies, only a half dodgy pub, but the non dodgy chicken, bacon and leek pie was the little bit of chill I needed after a hectic run around morning. Even I, with a bottomless pit of a stomach couldn’t fit it all in…
Aaaaand we’re back on the bus, heading to the Trossachs National Park and Loch Lomond. As we head to the Loch, we pass through a town called Drymen, this time the name says it all. Back in the day (not sure exactly which day…) but the women of the town were so fed up with their men drinking all their wages they convinced the mayor to ban alcohol consumption and sales in the town. Ahhhh, yeah, I’m on the side of the men on this one… how they convinced the mayor, crazy… as Stu was telling the story we passed a pub, guess the dry thing didn’t last all that long…
As we enter into the Trossachs, considered the highlands in miniature, Stu picks the perfect moment to crank the Braveheart theme music and the speech with the most infamous line ever delivered by an Aussie, “tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take our freedom“. Well played Stu. Passing by Doune Castle, otherwise known as Castle Leoch from Outlander, Stu took a moment to clarify that he was in fact second in line to play Jamie, given how similar they look… yeah mate, and I look just like Scarlett Johansson…
Arriving at Loch Lomond, it was another wow moment. The rain was rolling in but it just added to the magic of the place. No wonder the Lochs have stories about monsters living in them, they seem other worldly. With the rain no longer just rolling but crashing down, Stu dropped us in the local town of Balmaha to either frequent the local cafe for a hot drink or be a massive dork of a tourist and trek around the Loch, can guess which one I chose… and lucky me I stumbled across a beautiful little farm house, right on the Loch. Maybe in a other life, or possibly this one, I could happily live in a little farm house, tend to my sheep, bake bread and have a hoard of Scottish rug rats… yeah, another life…
Back on be bus for the hundredth time and we’re bound for Glengoyne Distillery, can’t imagine anything better than Scottish whiskey to warm a cold and weary traveler. Stu took the time to chat more about Glasgow, apparently it’s the next Hollywood, with Brad Pitt filming the zombie flick World War Z there a few years back, and of course, Stu was once again up for the role! Dude sure does have tickets on himself but somehow rather than coming off as arrogant, the Scottish accent just makes it all rather charming!! And the final tidbit of info from Stu, about 30% of all Scottish people are red heads. Actually not surprised at all, I do recall sitting on the bus yesterday and musing at being surrounded by so many redheads I thought I might have interrupted a convention.
Arriving at Glengoyne, the place looked like it was destined for the front of a postcard. Gorgeous. I would have taken more time to appreciate it all but the whiskey was a waiting!
With a first tasting of a 12 year old whiskey, single malt (single cos its from one distillery and malt cos it’s made only from barley), it was then onto a tour. Interesting stuff about making spirit from the vapor of the germinated barley then distilling… for more detail, google it. Really don’t remember the process, just that the place smelt like cat food?!? Awesome tour though. Even more awesome, tasting the 18 year old whiskey at the end, smooth as. Forgot how much I enjoy a good whiskey. Still love my gin through and through but I reckon there might be a time and place for whiskey in the future. Wishing I had the funds to purchase a whole bottle of the 18 year old, I settled for a wee bottle, the equivalent of a single Holly pour, and then for the final time that day, back on the bus!!
Stu must have been milked of information, instead of the normal chit chat, it was his playlist of Coldplay, U2, then to my dismay, Ed Sheeran, that stuff hurts my ear drums.
Back in Glasgow, I took the subway and walked to meet Kyles in Ashton Lane for dinner. In the West End of Glasgow, I started to realise I had Glasgow all wrong!! Not only beautiful ornate buildings, but gorgeous shops and streets, beautifully lit and abuzz with funky bars and restaurants. Ahhh, so that’s where you’ve been hiding Glasgow!
After a yummo share platter at Ubiquitous Chip and a bottle of wine, we once again called it a night and Ubered back to the hotel… but neither of us were quite ready for the night to be over so convinced the dude on reception to get us some gin and Elderflower cheesecake from the closed kitchen and smiled sweetly at the bar man as we popped a bottle of red in our handbag and headed to our room.
Tuesday 15th January 2019.
Holly vs the world 