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Holly vs the world

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Lush aye?

A jet lagged Holly and hungover Kylie catching a 9am train to Newcastle, what could go wrong?

How about splitting the seam of my pants along the butt while in the middle of King’s Cross Station, standing for the 3 hour train ride or realising you’re going to end up on a fetish YouTube channel when the sign on the mirror in the train toilet says “go on, give us a smile”… and I didn’t even find platform nine and three quarters…

Wasn’t all bad, coffee and truffle eggs in a cup saved the day and my sanity.

Good things come from the Aussie Newcastle, like my favourite band, so pretty high expectations and looking back the day after, it didn’t disappoint.

Having being renamed Sheila and Matilda by our man Pattie, it was my chrissie present of Roger’s Profanisaurus that set the scene for the night to come.

Two Aussie lass’s out drinking with the lads of Newcastle. The before shot…

Quickly realised gin wasn’t the reason I couldn’t understand the lads, they have a Geordie language of their own and it’s the most entertaining damn thing I’ve ever heard, and not understood…

Aye pet, that’s bollocks, gan to toon ta get mortal… cue staring blankly…

Needless to say the pub crawl through Tynemouth was epic with little photo evidence so well and truly, what happens in Tynemouth, stays in Tynemouth… especially since asking one of the lads to take a picture of you and your bestie ends up with a camera roll of this….

Two Aussie lass’s out drinking with the lads of Newcastle. The after shot…

Thursday 27th December 2018.

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Box this…

First and foremost, the Bowie tribute in Brixton. Even more impressive that I ever could have imagined and a reminder of how one person can move so many.

And then in our infinite wisdom we decided to go shopping on Oxford St in the Boxing Day sales. Brave or crazy, we’ll never know. Imagine the whole population of Adelaide on one street, absolute bedlam. I remembered why I do all my shopping online. Besides the craziness of it, the twinkling angels on Regent St and Christmas baubles hanging down Oxford St were magical. Couldn’t help but add to the Christmas cheer with my lamest and favourite outfit…. no one really gives a shit what you wear in London, love it.

Between battling the streets, we of course managed to fit in a sneaky gin at a very English pub then leg it home for another epic Christmas dinner repeat from Kyles. Unfortunately I face planted a few minutes after dinner and missed the dancing to Copacabana on the tabletops…

Wednesday 26th December 2018.

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Let it snow

Ah, Christmas Day – never have I ever had such a good Christmas present as hanging with my bestie (sorry Mum, Fireman calendar was my second favourite!). Although I’m missing seeing my monsters and the fam, we had a turducken filled chrissie on Sunday, so I think I’m forgiven for leaving…

There were tears in the eyes when I finally rocked up in Brixton, the driver made a sly exit while we hugged out the last 6 months. The bestie that knows me best had all the Christmas bests ready, prosecco and bacon for brekkie, gin and ham for lunch and mulled wine for dessert. Once I’d washed the stench of immigration off me, it was onesie and present time. Watching Kylie open the love filled presents from her family and friends is what Christmas is all about, oh yeah, and the dude that died on the cross…

And then it happened. The Christmas present that took me a full 10 minutes to understand, the card read “I look forward to seeing your face in the crowd, Jon Snow xx”. The person that knows me best got us tickets to the live broadway performance of True West, starring Kit Harrington, aka Jon Snow. Dreams do come true.

The thing I didn’t know I needed in my life happened at 3pm – the Queens Christmas message. I’m not one to buy into all the Royal hoo ha but for some reason, having queenie talk about peace on earth and goodwill to all warmed my heart. Getting soft…

Anyone that knows me well can guess what my third favourite thing of the day was… food, all the food and all the gin. Because bacon and prosecco and Lindt balls were burned off during present time. Kyles certainly outdid herself, gammon (ham to us Aussies), Yorkshire pudding, sprouts, parsnips and the best gravy I’ve had in my life. Would sell my soul for more of that gravy… if I had one left that is…

Christmas ain’t Christmas without Christmas movies and we all know the best Christmas flick around, Die Hard!! Too bad I passed out in a jet lag haze before the infamous and best line of all time… “Ho Ho Ho (insert expletives – my mum is reading this…)”. Apparently I kept waking up and asking Kylie’s if I’d missed it and promising her we’d get to the pub in a minute. Liar. I was passed out in a happy place of gin, full belly, bestie and finally those sleeping pills that kicked in 24 hours too late…

Tuesday 25th December 2018

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K, BYE!

Cruising through the London streets in the early hours and can’t wipe the smile off my face. Can’t remember the last time I felt this happy all over. Finally in London town after booking this trip more than 6 months ago, damn, I’m in love with London all over again. I think it’s my fate to fall in love with cities… may be a tad delirious after a 17 hour flight from Perth with zero sleep, the sleeping pills couldn’t silence the excitement… there’s Christmas trees on the lamp posts!! London I love you. The streets are so quiet but there’s twinkiling Christmas lights in the windows and frost in the air, this is Christmas.

So the trip, eh, sitting in a metal tin for 20 hours all up with people bringing you food and watching movies… kind of like a weekend Netflix binge with Ubereats… except I desperately need a shower… Not sure what I’m more excited about, a month off work, seeing the northern lights or seeing Kylie’s beautiful face.. we all know the answer, Kylie wins hands down. Have missed my bestie the last 6 months and with the amount of hugs I have lined up for her from everyone, I’ll be glued to her for at least the first 48 hours straight… now I’m smiling like the cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland while going past quaint English pubs that I know I’ll be a local at in 0.5 seconds… Aww, now there’s Holly on the lamp posts, I belong here, sorry Mum, never coming home!!!

P.S. some travel lessons – don’t put thermals on before getting off the plane, the body heat in UK immigration makes you sweat like a Mexican smuggler… and Perth airport is boring AF! And don’t trust the smiling qantas lady when she says she’s moving you to a “better” seat, apparently that means by the toilet, she needs to redefine better.

P.P.S. Thanks Rose for the luggage tag chrissie present, you know me too well!!

P.P.P.S wrote this post while in a taxi to Kylie’s house, awake for 36 hours straight, yep, sound like a crazy person…

Monday 24th/Tuesday 25th December 2018

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